Carpool help!! | Imamother

amother

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:04 pm

DS4 is on a carpool and it works out really well except for Thursdays. On Thursday the driver who drops off arrives really early (at least 15 min earlier than other days) and more than once I wasnt home when he dropped off. He drops off and doesn't wait to make sure he goes in. My neighbor sees him outside and brings him in. I communicated with the driver that this happens so instead of just driving off and not letting anyone know, he drives off and then calls me. How does that help if Im not home? In those few minutes Im 10 minutes away picking up my other child.
I feel really bad for my son and its also really not safe! I really dont want this to become a thing. I think I'm going to pick him up myself on Thursdays but it makes the schedule so complicated then!

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:16 pm

Is it earlier than the kids get dismissed? Because if it's within the regular time I'm sorry but you should be home. I pick my toddler up from playgroup 30 minutes early so that I can be home for my 4 year old carpool even though he usually doesn't get home until 45 minutes later. There is always a possibility he can get home earlier and I need to be prepared for that.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:22 pm

Yes, you need to figure out an alternative so that you can be home when the carpool comes OR that there's a safe place for your ds to be dropped off. Is there a neighbor whose house he can stay at for a few minutes? It's not okay to expect the carpool driver to wait there for 10 minutes. Or can you wait for them to drop him off and then leave to pick up your other child? Or pick up that child earlier?

amother

Orchid

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:22 pm

First of all, I 100% agree that dropping a small kid off in front of a house and zooming off before he gets inside is wrong.

That said, it's your job for you or someone to be available to let him in or take charge of him. The driver shouldn't have to hang out in your driveway for 10-15 minutes waiting on you week in and week out. I'm sure he also has places to go and things to do.

You say you aren't there because you're out picking up another child. So how are you going to manage to pick up your son yourself and still pick up the other child too?

Maybe if the neighbor is always around you could just arrange for your child to go to her every Thursday for those 10 minutes or so until you get home?

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:36 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

First of all, I 100% agree that dropping a small kid off in front of a house and zooming off before he gets inside is wrong.

Just wanted to say that despite what I said, I completely agree with the above.

amother

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:38 pm

amother Aubergine wrote:

DS4 gets dismissed at 2:15 and somehow he makes it back to the other side of town in 10 minutes when it usually takes me a minimum of 15-20 minutes. The other carpool drivers drop off at 3 and this driver drops off at 2:25-2:30 I dont know how he does it!

I wont let this happen again but Its not right to just drop him off like that!! I work I have a schedule and then he doesnt let me know hes dropping off

groovy1224

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hear you, but it's not like he's doing something wrong. He's picking up at the correct time, and getting to you faster than the others do.

Sounds like this has been a recurring thing, so you kind of DO know when he's going to be dropping off. If I were you I'd ask the neighbor if she'd be okay to watch him for 20 minutes on Thursdays, and have him drop off by your neighbor.

As others said though, he should not be driving away until your 4 YO is safely inside the house. That's really not okay.

mha3484

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 3:43 pm

My daughters pre school hours are 8:30 to 2pm but they start lining them up for dismissal at 1:50. I plan my schedule to pick her up at 1:50. I figure why sit in the hallway waiting. Is your school the same? I once got there at 2:04 and I was the last parent there.

amother

Birch

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 4:08 pm

If you are in a safe neighbourhood (im in israel so its a bit different I suppose) My son's age 4 school bus drops him off on our street (small Cul-de-sac) Most times I am 5 mins away (usually less but dd can be a slow walker) on the way back from fetching my daughter (Sometimes he arrives at the same time or after me).
Before I leave the house I ring my landline from my mobile and place it by the door inside which I leave unlocked and I can here when he comes in and speak with him and tell him where we are and keep talking so he nows we are coming. more often he will just say hello and then wonder away from the phone to the toilet or look out the window. for some reason he doesnt take the phone with most times.
I know he is home and he doesnt feel home alone.
Is this something you can do?

amother

Brunette

Thu, Nov 30 2023, 4:25 pm

If he’s dropping off your son and zooming off, he’s probably also zooming out of school when the kids are half buckled, speeding and flying through red lights. I’ve seen drivers like that. If possible, I’d make another arrangement for Thursdays.