Husband rejected gift

amother

DarkOrange

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 1:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

He doesn’t like when I spend money. But I don’t buy them often so when I do I put a lot of thought and effort into it. I’m just sad because he wants me to return it (he even said spend it on myself.) I just wanted to see him be excited and smile.

I’m just venting.

He's not a woman so you can't treat him like a woman.

amother

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 1:50 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

He's not a woman so you can't treat him like a woman.

I don’t believe I treat my husband like a woman. He has enjoyed some things I’ve bought him. Just last night he rejected it even though he likes it

amother

Oleander

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t believe I treat my husband like a woman. He has enjoyed some things I’ve bought him. Just last night he rejected it even though he likes it

Can you afford it? Maybe he is worried about finances and wants to save the money for necessities.

notshanarishona

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 2:55 pm

I feel the same way as your husband, I work very hard for our money and money is tight, I get frustrated when my husband buys a gift when I tell him I don’t need it (and know that I will be the one working to pay for it).
If he tells you he doesn’t want one then you can’t blame him for being frustrated when you don’t listen to his words.

amother

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 3:36 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

He tell me too late not to get him a gift. Like he told me Wednesday night but gift was ordered Monday

notshanarishona

Fri, Dec 08 2023, 3:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

He tell me too late not to get him a gift. Like he told me Wednesday night but gift was ordered Monday

Ok that’s different, although if he has told you repeatedly not to spend money of extras for him, I can still understand both positions

#BestBubby

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 7:46 pm

Everybody should be taught to accept gifts graciously and say thank you.

But I wouldn't buy gifts if your DH doesn't appreciate.

Maybe DH appreciates a special dinner, or going out to restaurant, or a mushy card or letter...

chocolate moose

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 8:06 pm

that's when I stopped buying gifts. either we chose something together or we did a birthday dinner/cake or anniversary dinner. not gift cards and not real gifts either. it led to a lot less bad feelings.

amother

Whitewash

Sat, Dec 09 2023, 11:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm so sorry. Unfortunately, I've done that to dh in the past. I regret it immensely.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Dec 11 2023, 7:50 pm

My daughter and I agonized for days about a gift for DH. She put so much effort into it. He rejected it and it felt like a slap. It was more of a slap to her. So I returned it and didn’t buy a gift again. So once he realized that, he decided to buy himself gifts and let us know he did it on our behalf. Ummm. Ok. Saved me time and effort, I guess. I was taught to thank the person graciously and appreciate the gift.