I’m thinking to homeschool my 3 year old twins

amother

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 9:57 pm

Hi all,
I’ve been thinking a lot about my kids going to preschool & the whole idea of “early childhood education” (a made-up concept). For context, I have soon to be 3 year old twins. They started at a Montessori school last year at about 1.5 years old. We love the school & they seemed happy. This year I started working at the school as well since the cost was high & I was looking for a part time job. It worked out perfectly & it’s going well. I get to see my kids at school & I can see that they feel more comfortable & safe knowing that I’m there. However, being on the other side of the fence & seeing what goes on inside I have many new thoughts regarding sending my kids out. To be clear it’s a good school & overall I don’t have many complaints. However I do get to see the small things I otherwise wouldn’t. That’s along with research I’ve been doing regarding the topic of daycare & the negative effects it can have on children, especially those under 3 years old. All that to say, it makes me sad to see the children who just miss their moms & don’t want to be at school, the kids crying during drop off, the teacher being a little snappy with a kid (even if justifiably so), the fact that school is centred around convenience & a schedule & an agenda more than it’s focused on each specific child. They do their best & this isn’t the fault of my kids’ school specifically, it goes for all preschools. The system doesn’t allow for a slow pace & giving each child what they need. It’s just about conforming them to the school system. Also lately my kids tell me in the morning that they want to stay home, even though they love school & I see that they’re happy because I watched them. I can’t help but think of how nice it would be to have a slower paced life, not rushing out the door every morning & having to send my kids even if they’re not wanting to go to school. I’m starting to rethink the whole idea of preschool & why it’s so normalised in our community & in America overall. I’ve never even considered not sending my kids out & that goes for my friends as well. I know that if I told anyone I was thinking to homeschool next year they would think I’m a freak. I know that it’s not officially considered homeschooling for 4 year olds but it would be a big change for us going from a Montessori school full day to being at home. On the one hand I really believe that a slow paced life at home & being with my kids can be a great experience for us but on the other hand I’m thinking are we gonna go crazy at home? Am I capable of doing it? If you’ve been through a similar experience or have any thoughts please do share. Thanks.

amother

Natural

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 10:13 pm

I used to send my kids to daycare, but I switched to homeschool. I absolutely love it!

Takes some getting used to, and you do need to be comfortable in your skin and be happy to stay home and just be with your kids with very minimal adult company.

I have friends who homeschool and are extroverts. Somehow they create amazing schedules for their kids and are busy shlepping them from one activity to the next, but that would make me crazy.

I have a very relaxed schedule. I do some davening, alef beis, parsha etc. We go on nature walks. I am a laid back person, so it works great. My kids are all preschool age, so we just live life together and explore the world around us at a calm pace.

Highly recommend!!

amother

Banana

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 10:22 pm

Back in the day (not so long ago) most people didn’t send their children to school before age 5-6. I dont know when this transition happened but it is not for our kids best interest.
Most people dont have a choice and send their kids to daycare at a very young age. Whther it’s because they have no patience or need a break or because they are working. But its not for the kids benefit to be sent off to a morah at that young age.

If you have the option of staying home with them then absolutely do it. If you have the patience and time. Children that age belong with their mothers. Period.

Anyone who disagrees is because they probably feel guilty.

amother

Moonstone

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 10:54 pm

It's the preschool teachers that choose to keep their kids home..having an inside view as a preschool teacher made me realize l wouldn't send a kid under the age of 3 to school for sure.. maybe even 4 depending on the kid..they definitely need to be able to be completely independent and self reliant and also able to speak up for themselves. Otherwise it's really not fair to the kids. Like you said you see all the little things . And not every child's needs are met at all times..

amother

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:00 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

You keep mentioning being at home. I think this is very doable with four year olds, but you need to plan to get out of the house pretty often.

Correct, I would expect it to be lots of time at home. I am a homebody by nature & love homemaking & cleaning etc even though it feels like I’m always behind & don’t have things fully under control. But if I were to keep my kids home I would set up for good cleaning help biweekly probably & try to get out every day but it would be for simple things like walking to the grocery or the park.

amother

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:02 pm

amother Moonstone wrote:

My thoughts exactly!! My kids are doing really well now but I am really nervous for next year because I know a lot more is expected of them at that age & I don’t want them getting reprimanded for not keeping up.

amother

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:08 pm

amother Banana wrote:

Truer words have never been spoken! & I’m guilty of this as well. I’m not the most patient with my kids, I often just want my husband to take them off my hands. But when I think about it I realise it’s mostly that I’m overwhelmed with my tasks (taking care of the home, cooking, watching my kids on my own when they’re out of school (my husband works late) & having a part time job). I would have to restructure my whole day/ week/ schedule/ routine. But I think it’s totally doable- creating a more relaxed pace of life & trying to outsource some of the cleaning. If I did that I would probably be much more relaxed with my kids because I’d have enough time but as it is now I have the pressure of work & everything else.

effess

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:16 pm

I have so much to say about this!!
you can do it!
Some thoughts:

1. At three it’s not school, it’s just kids living at home. At three no child needs school. Whoever says that either don’t know what children need or don’t know what school is. It’s a need because parents work, or feel unable to care for their child.
2. Perhaps there’s a program you can find that allows you to send the kids for a few hours in the afternoon so they get their relaxed morning and you can still have a few hours to yourself.
3. If you do do it, it’s fun to find other families so you can do fun activities together or just get together for day play dates.
4. Most public libraries have very interesting programming that you can choose from that will be age appropriate and a very inexpensive trip.
5. Having a membership at a children’s museum or the like gives you a place that you can go to even for one hour without feeling like you must get your moneys worth.
6. Some cities have nature centers you can explore and they are very quiet during the day time.
7. Baking/cooking activities are of the most educational. From math, to cleanup and everything in between.
I have more to say, but enough for now;-)
Hatzlacha in whatever you choose!
Happy Chanukah!

amother

Peach

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:20 pm

I kept my kids home till age 4, till I had a child that was absolutely miserable at home. He was rolling on the floor from boredom & wasn't interested in doing anything with me. I sent him to a small kiddie group far a couple of hours a day & he was so so so happy there.
Every child is different, some kids need the company but I hate sending such young kids to a school! It's too official and scheduled for them. I wish that small kiddie groups for just 2-3 hours a day would be common & normal till age 5.

amother

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:33 pm

effess wrote:

I love all of this, thanks so much!