Kids get too many treats - what's fair?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 6:47 am

My kids go to a learning program where they get a big treat (big bar of chocolate or full sized ice cream) three times a week.

We are a family that values healthy eating but we're also not depriving our kids - we buy treats for special occasions, have normal desserts on shabbos, they have shabbos brachos party with kiddush where we give out chocolate, they have chips on shabbos afternoon, and they anyway get plenty of candy from school (in Israel, of course). Sometimes they exchange their lollipops for shekels / prizes, but they eat the rest.

These three times a week prizes are just extravagant - there's no way I will let one child (they're both under 10) have that much junk food in a week - but I don't know what to do that won't make them feel like it's unfair. They already have dental issues too.

So far we've been saving two of the chocolate bars for our shabbos party and sharing them out - but is it fair that those two earned it and they have to share it with the whole family? And that still leaves the issue of what do we do with the rest of the chocolate and ice cream? I want them to go to the program, I am fine with incentives in general, but this is too much...

SuperWify

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 7:31 am

The way it would be fair is if they don’t go to the learning program.

They learned so they earned the reward most like everyone else in the group.

amother

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 7:40 am

SuperWify wrote:

The way it would be fair is if they don’t go to the learning program.

They learned so they earned the reward most like everyone else in the group.

They definitely wouldn't feel it's fair if they didn't go either - they love going there, it was their idea to begin with. I just don't know what to do with the quantity of chocolate and ice cream they receive, just let them eat it? That's unfair to their short and long term health.

amother

Rainbow

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 7:43 am

And they say Israeli's are poor 1)the big Nash
2)kids having money to exchange for the nash in school.

Our shabbos learning program gave story books to the children they love it. Can you ask the program director if they would give prizes some weeks.

ray family

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 7:54 am

To me learning is more important than any of my ideologies about junk food. I always closed my eyes to what they got as masmidim ( or whatever program)
If it bothers you too much, what about setting up an exchange program with them either for a prize or money.

amother

Hydrangea

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:11 am

If your question is literally what to do with the extra chocolate - save it for mishloach manos or let your kids make a sidewalk sale.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:15 am

ray family wrote:

This

Rutabaga

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:21 am

Can you talk to the learning program about offering the option of a non food prize?

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:21 am

OP please choose your battles. This one isn't worth it IMHO. I would say make sure they eat proper full meals and more brushing teeth. It's better to eat it in one big go and brush teeth immediately after a big sugary treat.
By the way chocolate is why better than many other sweets.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:22 am

Maybe you can suggest to the learning program director if they can reward with prizes instead of junk food.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:27 am

I would offer an exchange programme that they can get something else instead of the food. And I would speak to the programme director as to whether they can offer any other options and discuss portion sizes.

Raisin

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:55 am

buy the treats off them. They can save the money and buy something fun.

keym

Thu, Dec 28 2023, 8:59 am

I would offer that they trade in the junk for a big prize.
10-15 chocolate bars for a new comic book or something like that.
Or a trip to the pizza shop or private bowling trip just with Mommy.

Something big and special that they will be happy to trade in their big treats

But if they didn't want, I wouldn't push.

Is it new and exciting still for them? Many kids, if being offered chocolate or ice cream that frequently will naturally slow down their consumption after a few months. A few bites of it and in the garbage because it loses the excitement.

Page 1 of 1