PSA: If you're at a simcha & you get a call/text

amother

NeonYellow

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:28 am

amother OP wrote:

We discussed that he'd be sleeping through the night no problem & that they'd come get him after the wedding. (2:30-3:00). But this was assuming that he was sleeping & not shreiking & being up.
(I don't know why you're trying so desperately to make me in to the "bad guy".)

Any poster who writes that once you took baby it became your responsibility and too bad on you is probably very young and slightly selfish.
Sorry ladies but new generation is entitled.
"You said yes therefore you have to stay up until 3 am " is not a normal answer! I'm shocked to see how many ladies agree to that statement.
Every babysitter, paid or not, assumes baby will be sleeping between 11pm and 3am.
Especially if you're doing someone a favor!!!

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:28 am

Imamother is so funny sometimes.

On a different day, I'm sure everyone would be agreeing with OP. Seems it depends what mood everyone is in when responding Very Happy

I never knew that agreeing to do a favor for someone, meant I need to keep up that favor regardless of what ensues afterwards. There was no contract here and the arrangement didn't work out, so the parents should have changed their plans.

I don't even see another side...

amother

Hosta

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:29 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm not a babysitter. I was doing someone in a bind, a favor. I did not want to agree with this. The wedding was essentially over. It was fine to leave by then.

When you're watching someone else's child so they can go out, you're the babysitter. Now you know, don't agree to babysit if you're not comfortable doing it. Especially if you're babysitting at your home, not theirs. The child may sleep fine at home, but somewhere else there's a good chance they might not. And there's never any guarantee!

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:30 am

amother Hosta wrote:

I'm glad my siblings aren't so rigid. If they were, I wouldn't do any favors for them.

Obviously plans change depending on the scenario. And as a parent, you need to be prepared for that.

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:32 am

Everyone is busy about OP, not sure why no one cares about the kid shrieking into the wee hours of the morning because he wants his parents...

When anyone tries to train their kid to sleep, they're considered an abusive mom on this forum, but to leave your kid crying while you enjoy youself is suddenly okay?

amother

Hosta

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:33 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Imamother is so funny sometimes.

On a different day, I'm sure everyone would be agreeing with OP. Seems it depends what mood everyone is in when responding Very Happy

How can you make a contract that a child will sleep? Agreeing to watch a child always includes uncertainties. Kids can misbehave, not sleep, cry, get hungry, need outfit changes. Anyone who doesn't know that shouldn't be babysitting. Or make it clear in advance- if x happens you need to come home because I'm not taking care of it.

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:34 am

amother Hosta wrote:

This is a very entitled thing to say to someone that's doing you a favor.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:36 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

I think it's assumed that op was caring for the crying child, not leaving the child alone to cry for hours.

WhatFor

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:36 am

amother OP wrote:

Maybe my toddlers are different to hers, but I gotta say I find it nuts to guarantee to someone that your toddler will sleep through the night, especially in a house that's not their own, but even in their own house. And if someone guaranteed that their child would sleep in my house, I wouldn't take their word for it, because how can anyone possibly promise that? She has no control over whether her child sleeps when she's not even there.

singleagain

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:36 am

amother Hosta wrote:

Or make it clear in advance- if x happens you need to come home because I'm not taking care of it.

Why isn't this common sense? Obviously if something happens with your kid, it's your responsibility as the parent to take care of your child.

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:36 am

amother Hosta wrote:

There was no contract. But it should be common sense that if you know that your child is keeping someone up, you go get your child.
I've left during my brothers bar mitzvah & my sisters wedding, to pick up a crying baby ftom a paid sitter.
Kal v'chomer a non paid sitter that's doing you a huge favor.

amother

Obsidian

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:37 am

I should prob start a spinoff as this is one of my pet peeves- Chassidish people have weddings that stretch way into the night - We're talking 3 AM on avg, I have friends whose mitzvah tantz lasted even longer than that.
The way the extended family is 'expected' to stay at least for this Zeidy or that one, is very unfair and inconsiderate.
I come from a very large family- we're almost a dozen siblings kh, we have an avg of 4-5 nephews/nieces weddings per year BH. And then there's Sheva brachos, of which were expected to attend at least 1 or 2. Without the kids, which means-babysitters. Again.
It's exhausting. I love simchas bh but it takes a huge toll. Esp when you need to travel fm Brooklyn to Monsey or Lakewood.
Not to mention the kids going late to school for the next 2 days. The simcha ends up becoming a little bit of a burden unfortunately.
OP I really feel for you. It's really frustrating especially when you did this as a favor.

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:38 am

WhatFor wrote:

I don't expect guarantees & promises. I do expect the parents to pick up the child if they know they're crying & not sleeping.

WhatFor

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:40 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm curious what your communication looked like. Did she ever respond to your midnight text? If so, what did you respond? How far was the wedding?

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:42 am

WhatFor wrote:

I'm curious what your communication looked like. Did she ever respond to your midnight text? If so, what did you respond? How far was the wedding?

Yes, we were in contact throughout the entire time. I asked her at 1:00 if they can leave already, but they did not. The wedding was a bit less then an hour drive away, which is why I didn't ask or expect them to leave during the actual wedding. This was after the wedding & time leave if you know that your child is keeping someone up.

amother

Coral

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:43 am

I assume the people responding against the OP are not Chassidish. Leaving the mitzvah tanz to go fetch a crying baby is perfectly acceptable. It is not like leaving during the chuppah or dancing.

WhatFor

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, we were in contact throughout the entire time. I asked her at 1:00 if they can leave already, but they did not. The wedding was an hour drive away, which I why I didn't ask or expect them to leave during the actual wedding. This was after the wedding & time leave if you know that your child is keeping someone up.

How did she explain herself? Does she just not care? If she's usually a considerate person, I wonder if she asked her DH but he refused?

Bnei Berak 10

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:45 am

OP, next time your sibling pressures you to do babysitting please announce at here. We will all scream NO NO NO to your sibling.
There is no way I would accept this scenario again. No way.

amother

Molasses

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:45 am

amother OP wrote:

They probably figured it’s an hour anyway not like they can be there in 2 minutes so what’s another half hour or hour.

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 5:51 am

amother Molasses wrote:

They probably figured it’s an hour anyway not like they can be there in 2 minutes so what’s another half hour or hour.

It was 2.5 hours from when I asked her to leave already till they got home. Even an extra 1/2 hour or hour, is too much at that time of the night.