PSA: If you're at a simcha & you get a call/text

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 3:06 am

That your baby/toddler is crying for hours & is refusing to sleep, please go pick them up! Even if it's a close wedding!
It's 3 AM. I let parents know 3 hours ago that their child is refusing to sleep, & they didn't leave the wedding right then. I'm so so annoyed. The kid is still awake & parents aren't here yet.
(They're supposed to pick him up after the wedding. Chassidish wedding with mitzvah tanz.)

abound

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 3:09 am

This is insane on so many levels.....
But for u...if you are a paid overnight babysitter for children who dont know you well....then kids crying all night comes with the job.....

Poor baby.....

abound

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 3:17 am

Then that is rude of them. Do u know if they saw your text? maybe they are not checking their phones?
Is it their own childs wedding?

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 3:19 am

abound wrote:

Then that is rude of them. Do u know if they saw your text? maybe they are not checking their phones?
Is it their own childs wedding?

They saw my text, we were in contact back and forth.
It's a niece's wedding.
Bh they just came.

amother

Hibiscus

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 6:36 am

singleagain wrote:

When do weddings go till 3 am? Did you know they would be out this late?

She said there was Mitzvah Tantz

singleagain

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 6:42 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

She said there was Mitzvah Tantz

I'm not sure I know what that is. Not something that's happened at the last few weeding I've been to... And so I don't know if that's a thing to make weddings go so late... Plus the last few weddings I went to were over before midnight.

amother

Tomato

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:39 am

singleagain wrote:

Chassidish weddings often go till 2/3/4 including the mitzvah tanz. She knew there was mitzvah tans when she agreed to take the kid but I guess op you assumed he/ she would sleep?

I feel terrible for you and personally pay (even if it’s family) for babysitting because no, I would not leave the wedding unless it was an emergency of the kid was hysterical if it was important that I was there. So I can imagine leaving a cousins wedding but not a sibling or a niece since we are incredibly close and it’s once in a lifetime.

DrMom

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:46 am

If there was something wrong with the baby (illness, etc.), then I'd expect the parents to leave the wedding and come home, of course.

If the baby is just crying, then I'd say soothing him is part of your job, whether you agreed to work for free or for pay.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:51 am

DrMom wrote:

This. It's part of watching a child. There's never a guarantee that they will sleep, be perfectly behaved, not cry. Unless the child seems sick, that's just part of watching the child.

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:51 am

DrMom wrote:

Putting aside OP's discomfort, you think it's ok to leave a kid crying for several hours while the parents are at a wedding?? It's absolutely not mandatory to be at a mitvah tanz, they were there for the full wedding and their children should be the priority.

And I'm sure they told OP that kid will be sleeping. In that case it's absolutely not ok either to make her stay up all night with him.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:52 am

I also would not leave unless there was a real emergency. Part of agreeing to babysit (paid or not) includes the possibility of a baby crying or waking up or having trouble falling asleep. Or being up the whole time. You can hope that everything will go smoothly but you can never expect it when it comes to kids..

I agree with above poster that I would have offered to compensate afterwards, most likely by sending you a gift or gift card somewhere, just because I felt bad and would have really appreciated the trouble you went through. But I wouldn’t have left the wedding, no.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 7:55 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Sorry but why do you think the kid was crying for several hours? She said she texted that he was refusing to go to sleep, I’m sure there was crying involved in him wanting to stay up but I doubt he was crying the entire night

amother

Hosta

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 8:01 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Anyone who think that parents can guarantee a kid will be sleeping clearly doesn't have a much experience with kids. There is no way to guarantee any sort of outcome with kids behavior.

I don't think the child should be left to cry alone but if the babysitter is with the child trying to comfort them, that's ok. It happens sometimes.

DrMom

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 8:02 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

They didn't "leave a kid crying." They left their child with a babysitter. A babysitter is expected to be able to deal with a crying child.

I babysat before -- I never called the parents and interrupted their evening unless it was an emergency.

tweety1

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 8:09 am

amother Tomato wrote:

So it depends where the babysitter is located. If the babysitter is located in the same town I always had dh pick the baby and bring her to me. In a different town it's complicated. I've had 2 kids in pj's by mitzvah tantz already.

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 8:10 am

I did not want to take the kid, but I got alot of pressure & promises that he sleeps through the night well.
I wouldn't expect them to leave the wedding. But this was already after dancing, after bentching. It was mitzvah tanz already & I think that by then one can and should leave if they know that their kid is keeping up someone that's doing them a favor.