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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:35 am
I know- first world problems and it really isn't, but ideas please. Going away for pesach (yay) but will need to put 22 year old dd and 18 year old ds in the same room. DD not thrilled, but we can not paying for another room just for her.
Ideas for making the sleep arrangements more comfortable?
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Iymnok
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:37 am
Is there another family with a similar problem that you could do boys and girls rooms?
Yeah, awkward with a stranger. But maybe better.
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abound
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:38 am
I would not do it....
Get a string and hang up a curtain across the room.
If she would be married you would pay for another room....
.
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fleetwood
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:38 am
Honestly, I would sleep with dd and have hubby sleep with ds Its only a week..no biggie .
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amother
Nasturtium
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:39 am
When families I know have this issue, Ima sleeps with the girls and Abba sleeps with the boys.
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amother
Glitter
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:40 am
Sorry, really not appropriate. You need to figure something else out. Your daughter can share a room with you and your husband can share a room with your son.
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amother
Yellow
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:49 am
I don't know if this is allowed halachically but it's definitely not preferable in any way. Dh and I split the rooms by girls and boys when we go to a hotel, and we split up as well.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:50 am
Really not appropriate. Either have both in your room or split you with daughter, husband with son.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:52 am
Why cant you sleep with DD and your dh sleeps with DS?
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greenteaorange
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:56 am
Idk my family would go on family vacations and share rooms boys and girls don’t think it’s so crazy in this circumstance
Have you gone away before and what did you do
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amother
Steel
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:08 am
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amother
Sunflower
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:08 am
greenteaorange wrote: | Idk my family would go on family vacations and share rooms boys and girls don’t think it’s so crazy in this circumstance
Have you gone away before and what did you do |
There’s “boys and girl” and then there’s an adult boy and girl.
Super inappropriate in my opinion. I would either pay for another room or split a different way.
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amother
Peru
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:09 am
Don't do it.
It's not a good idea and your daughter has already expressed to you that she is not comfortable! What are you teaching her?
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amother
Sunflower
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:11 am
Also not sure where you fall religiously but no rav in my community would allow this- JPF.
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amother
Springgreen
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:13 am
I wouldn’t do it, if there were several other siblings maybe but definitely not alone it’s too awkward. My parents wanted me and my brother similar ages to share a room on a family trip. I said I wasn’t ok with it and the Rav was on my side. This is was even only 1 or 2 night, an entire Pesach is so much harder.
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fmt4
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:20 am
Seriously??? It's her brother. Big deal.
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readreread
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:22 am
Even if a Rav tells you it's ok I don't think you should do it, just out of respect for your daughter, who has already said it makes her uncomfortable. I don't think it's wise to teach her that expressing discomfort about this kind of thing is not allowed and will be ignored.
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singleagain
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:26 am
Personally I don't see a big deal and would totally share a room with my single brother.
That being said since your DD expressed discomfort and is 22... Does she have her own money that she could get her own room?
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amother
Phlox
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:27 am
amother Sunflower wrote: | Also not sure where you fall religiously but no rav in my community would allow this- JPF. |
I really can’t see why not?
In the olden days everyone slept in one room didn’t they???
Have you actually asked or just presume??
Even not such olden days we went to a one bedroom bungalow for the summers 30 years ago and all kids slept together.
Eta I’m chassidish but never actually asked.
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amother
Blueberry
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Mon, Jan 08 2024, 8:30 am
amother Phlox wrote: | I really can’t see why not?
In the olden days everyone slept in one room didn’t they???
Have you actually asked or just presume??
Even not such olden days we went to a one bedroom bungalow for the summers 30 years ago and all kids slept together.
Eta I’m chassidish but never actually asked. |
There's a difference between everyone in 1 room and just 2 young adults of opposite genders sharing a room
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