BP chasuna etiquette

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amother

Copper

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:28 pm

I think if she gave you an invitation you're invited for the meal. It doesn't always say the time on the invite, it's just whenever the Chuppah is over. I really don't think she invited you with the expectation that you'll drive in but only come for Chuppah and dancing.

amother

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 9:56 pm

Okay, next question — how much before the Chuppah is normal to come for kabbalas panim/badeken/etc? I know sometimes it’s different by chassidim

Thank you all for answering my questions so kindly. This is not my velt, so to speak, and I don’t want to mess this up!

Einikel

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:03 pm

Not before half hour before chuppah is called for

amother

Honeysuckle

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:07 pm

Einikel wrote:

Not before half hour before chuppah is called for

Yes. If it says 6:30 7:30, come at 7.
Don't be shocked if they are still finishing up pictures.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:07 pm

Oh its a chassidishe chassanah?

There are no return cards.

Everyone decides on their own if they feel like they want to be by meal. Portions are ordered on guesstimate, not on a perfect count.

Sometimes, some people will insert an additional card to invite to meal, but with no rsvp. Not always though.

There's a time on invitation usually for reception and a time for chupah.

Sometimes it runs timely sometimes a little delayed.

Chassidim send out few hundred, sometimes thousand or more invitations as a blast, to everyone they know.

The meal gets ordered like for 10-25% of the invitation list. For close family, friends, neighbors.

The rest just mostly come by dancing to give Mazel tov.

The kabalas panim is mostly the close people or whoever can't come later by dancing.

Which hall is it? Some takana halls are very limited with portions but if it's not than usually there's more than enough

amother

Birch

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

You have time to arrive at the time it says for chuppa.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:26 pm

Do you have other co-workers? Ask them if they're doing the meal or not?

amother

Quince

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 11:32 pm

Dankbar, it seems like you are not from BP, Chassidic weddings in Bp, Willy, Monsey or Monroe dont send return cards at all.
Anyone coming from out of town, for sure is expected to sit for the meal and as she said "stay to dance" There are no exact counts. OP, you dont have to feel bad that it costs her. As someone above said, it s a guesstimate . Go and enjoy, hope you have company, though

Cheiny

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 11:36 pm

I think this thread is proof the email invites need to be more clear about who’s invited to what part…

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 11:39 pm

dankbar wrote:

If she said I look fwd to dance with you, it means that just a Mazel tov not a meal

Not true. It's another way of saying can't wait to see you.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 11:41 pm

amother Quince wrote:

I think you are conflating posters, but it's fine.

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