I yelled at my son

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Forum -> Parenting our children

I yelled at my son

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amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 9:47 am

And I can't get to myself. I feel so guilty, it's eating me up.
It was getting late, he didn't want to get dressed. He kept on running away & I yelled at him. He looked so stunned, like he didn't know what hit him. I feel so bad for him. I kept telling him that I'm so sad that I yelled & I'm sorry & that it was a mistake. But I still can't calm down. He's a 4 year old baby, why did I have to yell.
Crying

ftm1234

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 9:49 am

Oyyy your poor abused son.

How will he ever forgive you? How will he ever be normal again?

Sarcasm alert.

ftm1234

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 9:50 am

Seriously, he will forgive you and forget, especially since this doesn’t seem to happen often in your house.

amother

Peachpuff

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 9:54 am

You can apologize. You can repair. He will learn that relationships aren't perfect but they can be fixed.

He will also learn to apologize when he does something wrong, much more effectively than telling him "say sorry!"

Mistakes are an opportunity for growth.

flowerpower

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 10:26 am

Say I am sorry I yelled at you. Give him a big hug. And then let go of your guilt.

SuperWify

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 10:35 am

Wow, I’m so impressed! Is this the first time you yelled at him? Share your secrets please….

BrisketBoss

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 10:53 am

Listen, yelling isn't great, but you have to remember that kids are resilient. Also while we will naturally feel for our children, pity isn't a productive emotion for anyone involved.

Great that you apologized, but it sounds like you may be overdoing it a bit. One simple, sincere statement that what you did was wrong and you're sorry should suffice. Then everyone can move on. If it became a pattern then you would want to look into that but it sounds like it isn't.

amother

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:07 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Wow, I’m so impressed! Is this the first time you yelled at him? Share your secrets please….

I'm not a yeller, I don't know what got in to me. Sure I can sometimes be curt or snap at my older kids, but he's just a little 4 year old that was acting his age....
But his bus was coming in 10 minutes & he kept on running away from me when I wanted to get him dressed. I guess I lost myself in the situation. He looked so sad and shocked, I feel terrible.

giftedmom

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:17 pm

He’ll be fine. You don’t have to be perfect.

giselle

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:22 pm

I’m super against yelling… yet from reading your OP, it’s clear that this is something you almost never do. My biggest problem with yelling is that some people think it’s normal and ok. If it’s something that happens on a rare occasion, you can repair and apologize, and he will definitely be ok.

hodeez

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 2:47 pm

...either you're a saint or I'm a bad mom..

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