Will walking around in a snood effect my kids shidduchim?

amother

Thistle

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:27 pm

I can’t even imagine thinking about this as an important factor when picking my child’s spouse! Ridiculous. I’d be happy to weed out such shallow people but I happen to almost always wear a wig or fall out because I feel self conscious without hair to my face. If someone is confident enough to not need it, all the better.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:31 pm

I’m 25, live in Lakewood and I go food shopping in a prettied bandana
I consider myself with it .
I wouldn’t go clothes shopping in one but I feel like it’s bec I’m young. I would not think differently of an older woman, like a mother with a bunch if kids wearing one.
I’m from Brooklyn btw, it’s so much more chilled there

amother

Holly

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:31 pm

What do you do in Rain and snow or wind? I assume in bad weather you will wear a snood. Asking seriously. What about hot weather? carpools? You wear a wig and don't shvitz in the hot weather? Just getting in and out of the van, strapping the kids in the car seat.

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:32 pm

You won’t stick out. I see people in snoods everywhere. Even at the dentist with they’re kids. (Which I personally thought odd but to each they’re own!)

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:33 pm

amother Copper wrote:

Sorry, idk about shidduchim, but it does seem a little socially off to me for people to walk around in a snood
As frum people we don’t have the “luxury” of looking chic in casual clothing
I would almost never go anywhere, even on a walk on shabbos afternoon, in a snood
(I even gave birth to my oldest two kids in a wig)
I do find that I carry myself and act differently when I am dressed well than when I am dressed shlumpy

Giving birth in a wig because a snood looks shlumpy, is a bit sick....
The snood on your head is the least shlumpy thing about you while giving birth.

amother

Beige

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:38 pm

I was definitely referring to chenille type more than pre-tieds.

There's something about that lopsided snood look...I reserve that for in house or quick playgroup drop off. And labor Smile

Ugh. Who wants a sweaty wig bec they had to wear one to birth?

theoneandonly

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:44 pm

amother Copper wrote:

I completely disagree with the culture here of passive-aggressively "hugging" a post you disagree with, but wow do I want to hug your post.

zaq

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:47 pm

As someone already pointed out: if people will judge you unfavorably and reject your child as a potential shidduch, you don't want your children marrying into their families, anyway.

amother

Tan

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:54 pm

I see many snoods in every store, for shopping and carpool it’s definitely fine. I don’t see snoods at school events that’s the only place I’d think is a must not wear situation.

amother

Tan

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 5:55 pm

amother Copper wrote:

You should see a therapist about your low self esteem. It’s really not necessary to be like this or push this nonsense on others.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:16 pm

LOL. OP, in response to your question, my DD BH married a lovely young man (whose mother likely doesn't go out in a snood like I did, though I never asked that in shidduchim to be honest) despite the fact that I would totally jump out to shop in a snood.

BTW I consider myself to be a very put-together person. My house is perhaps more organized and smooth running than some sheitel-wearing spiffy women out there. And I do wear a wig for occasions that warrant it.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:17 pm

BTW I just can't imagine giving birth in a sheitel....oy. I don't want to tell you what I gave birth in. Probably wouldn't be good for shidduchim so help us all....

amother

Pear

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:20 pm

amother Copper wrote:

This is satire right?

amother

Cherry

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:27 pm

nightingale1 wrote:

By the way, affect is a verb. Effect is a noun.

I’ve been struggling with the differences between those 2 words for probably over 30 years…

amother

Cherry

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:31 pm

It’s not just about the snood.
It’s what you are wearing with your snood.
Are you dressed neat and clean with a little makeup and you decided to wear a non stretched out snood?
Or are you wearing shlumpy clothing with an old snood and worn shoes?
Is your hair sticking out?
If you can present yourself nicely with a snood then go ahead.
Personally I always feel like my hair might be showing. I feel much better and well covered with my shaitel.
As in every neighborhood there are all types.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 6:40 pm

nightingale1 wrote:

By the way, affect is a verb. Effect is a noun.

Not 100% accurate though usually the case in our vernacular.

You affect someone or something in how you influence or change them which is the most common use of the word, it creates an effect which is what happens when a change is made and also the most common use of "effect", but you can effect change (cause it to happen) or have an affect (emotional state of being).

amother

Cinnamon

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 7:36 pm

No one will say they won’t do a shoduch with a lady in a snood but as someone told me, dress how you want your daughters mother in law to look and how you want your daughter to look… nice and put together. We spend so much on our big girls clothes, high school and post seminary… and then if we walk around like a Shmata, what message are we giving our girls? That once married you can look like a shmata?!

NechaMom

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 7:42 pm

amother Copper wrote:

100%
I gave birth in a cocktail dress, stockings, and heels. First impressions last. I can’t have my baby see me looking shlumpy the first time we meet!

amother

Linen

Thu, Jan 11 2024, 7:49 pm

NechaMom wrote:

100%
I gave birth in a cocktail dress, stockings, and heels. First impressions last. I can’t have my baby see me looking shlumpy the first time we meet!

Love this!
Can you please post a link for childbirth stockings?