How horrible is it to change a bracelet bought for a kallah

amother

Ecru

Tue, Jan 16 2024, 2:32 pm

I had the same reaction and blamed the bracelet I received.
It took alot of work from me with parents, kalla teacher help to work out my feelings, I wasn't excited to get engaged to my then chosson. I liked him and on pen and paper he was good but in reality there were some things that made me nervous about him. I knew it wasn't enough to say no to as he had lots of maalos! And still does!
I did not like the bracelet and hardly wore
it... In my mind the bracelet was connected to him.

I liked some things about him and focused on that. I had gentle pressure from my parents and since I was confused I allowed myself to get on with it.
Bh we're very happily married 20 + years...

I understand her... Try to understand her and leave the bracelet for the last thing...

I feel for you!

Odelyah

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 3:36 am

amother Coffee wrote:

I wonder if OP is the same from the thread titled something like Panicked Kallah, who got engaged based on people telling her it's fine not to have feelings they'll come after the wedding. and she was panicked (obviously) after she got engaged.
Sounds similar.

I thought she might be the OP of this thread actually https://www.imamother.com/foru.....22540

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 4:33 am

amother Lightcoral wrote:

Is she upset about the bracelet or about the guy?
I also felt like my kallah bracelet was very cheap looking and I never liked it. It upsets me, even now 15 years later. But I was thrilled with the person I was engaged to so I was able to overlook it.

I know this is derailing but I read your message and couldn’t help comparing it to my life. I too got an ugly cheap bracelet that I hated (I had the grace to pretend I loved it and to this day still wear it around my in laws)

But my ending was different. The guy I married turned out to be the biggest disappointment of all, and I laugh now how my stupid jewelry bothered me. Today I could care less, just give me a freaking husband without mental illness and doesn’t make me nauseous😢

OP - if your daughter is happy with her engagement overall (the guy, his family etc )- tell her in a nice way to grow up and be happy with what she got and imyh she’ll upgrade over time to jewelry she likes. I didn’t read all the answers so I’m sorry if this is redundant

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 17 2024, 4:35 am

amother OP wrote:

she isn't sure she wants to marry him Crying

which makes the bracelet situation be like stepping on a newly healed scab

dunno how to go about this

I want to hide