I'm a young mom in grad school AMA

Princess23

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:12 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm in school for occupational therapy.

DH pitches in by being the sole provider at the moment. But he comes home at like 7:30pm earliest so sometimes the kids are ready for bed by the time he comes home.
But when he is home he tries to be active. He helps with supper and bedtime whenever applicable.
He's super exhausted all the time so I end up doing most of the household work. (Not curable sleep disorder)
But if I ask with something specific he will try if he's not too tired, like a load of laundry or wash the dishes.

Every semester is different but I have a long commute so it adds to my schedule every day.
I'm in class Monday through Thursday most semesters. The program is a little over 3 years.
Constant assignments, tests... It's a difficult program, 7 people dropped out already because they failed.

Do any students return that failed out?

Wow good for you! Being a spouse of a grad student is very hard too!
My best friend is a PT and I think it's such a cool field.
To be honest, part of the reason I chose OT vs PT is because I really didn't want to take chem 2 and physics 2. One of each of those was enough. And it's apparently a harder program. But also I got to observe a few OT clinics and loved what I saw. I can see myself doing that more than PT.
Just curious. Did he go to Touro? You don't have to answer. My friend went there and it's funny, She said the OT class looked like a Bais Yakov because most of the students were frum girls.

I might end up doing something in pediatrics mostly because most of my life I have been working with kids. And I do love it.
But I'm open to trying something different. Maybe outpatient rehab. Maybe hospital but not too sure.
I suffered thru gen chem 2, but it gets better the more you study it. Now I’m the one tutoring it lol!

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:18 am

amother Molasses wrote:

How do you manage??? I am in grad school and got married in the summer (in middle of the program but between semesters). There's an endless amount of studying, housework, cooking, etc. that has to be done. It's just so hard to balance it all. I feel so incompetent because I don't even have kids yet!

This is gonna sound cliche but really Hashem.
I live with the mentality of if it has to get done I have to do it. We need to eat so I make a menu, buy the food, make lunches and suppers every day. Laundry, cleaning (way less than I hoped I would manage to do), other responsibilities... It's super hard. I'm always exhausted. Especially since my kids still wake up at night!!!
But I'm looking at this as a temporary stage. Hopefully after this I'll never have to be in school again!
Btw I don't manage everything. I just have to come to terms with it. I barely clean the house. I just can't. I'm human. And we can't afford cleaning help. We can barely afford basic bills. I thought I would be a way more involved and fun parent, I'm not at the moment. I shower them with love and care but I barely do fun things with them.

I definitely want to validate you. It's SO hard. Even being a wife while in school. Running a house and being a spouse is hard work in itself. I hope you give yourself credit Smile

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 12:22 am

Princess23 wrote:

If someone fails they can try to retake the class. But then they're behind one year. A few people that started with us are now a year behind us so it's nice to see they came back. Most either couldn't pass the 2nd time either or dropped OT school altogether and a trying a different field.

Wow good for you!!! I really admire people who like/do well in chem. And tutoring a hard subject is no joke either.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 8:45 am

amother Cappuccino wrote:

Good luck! It sounds like you have a great support network! I did PA school and it was hard with kids and married life!

Me too! I'm in PA school now with kids, and it's CRAZY. And I also have a long commute, and when I get home (really late) I need to study, so I have no life. Please tell me I'll survive 🙏

amother

Pink

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Are you sure a doctorate will be required? I didn't hear about that but I may be wrong.
I'm actually in a BS/MS program but I did finish my BA before applying.
I'm not in a Jewish college but every class has a few Jewish girls. And the professors are understanding thankfully.
I would recommend my program if you're comfortable going to a non Jewish program.
It sounds like most OT schools are similar.
Hatzlacha to your daughter!!!
Which schools is she thinking of?

Thank you so much for responding. I appreciate any guidance.

Per the AOTA, Occupational therapists who currently practice with a bachelor's or master's degree in occupational therapy degree will not need a doctoral degree. They can continue to practice. After July 1, 2027, all new practicing OTs will require a doctor of occupational therapy degree.

I was mistaken about what year. It would not apply to you as you will have taken your boards by then and will be grandfathered in.
She will not be finished by then, as she is only slated to start a OT program Fall 2024.

Are you in the Touro program, as you said a joint BA/MS program? She almost did that and that is a fabulous opportunity.

She is looking to stay in the NYC area.

Columbia and NYU were on her list but no more due to the rampant Antisemitism on their campuses.
Downstate, York, Touro and Katz are were she is predominantly looking. Do you recommend or not recommend any of them? Any other ones to add to the list? What else is in the city/local?

Thank you so much for any guidance you can provide.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:33 am

Going to grad school while being a Mom is tough. But so is working full time. Do you realistically see your life being less hectic when school is over and you are working? I got married during grad school but graduated before kids. But my life wasn't busier then than it was with a full time job out of the house and job prep at night as well.
(Don't mean to be a downer, genuinely curious.)

amother

Tuberose

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:57 am

amother Iris wrote:

I'm a speech therapist and was married with a baby while in grad school. It got SO MUCH EADIER once if finished a school
Yes, therapy is a hard and demanding job. But nothing can compare to the ENORMOUS pressure and stress of being in school. It was a huge load off my shoulders once I finished, and my life and marriage improved so much

amother

Papayawhip

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 9:59 am

amother Iris wrote:

Not OP, but I think the expectations are different when in school and working. Depending on your field, the actual job becomes very routine. In school, you are always getting new information, writing papers and are always concerned about your academic performance. I think it makes it a little more stressful...

Also, depending on your field, in school you are probably not making money or making a minimal amount. Financial stress is much greater when there are not enough hours in the day to be in school, take care of your family, and also take on a job.

I do believe I will find life less stressful once I have graduated and am working a job I enjoy.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:02 am

amother Pink wrote:

I have no experience with this whatsoever, but Sara Schenirer is offering an Occupational Therapy Doctorate program in conjuction with the Katz School of Science and Health at YU.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 10:27 am

amother Cerise wrote:

Me too! I'm in PA school now with kids, and it's CRAZY. And I also have a long commute, and when I get home (really late) I need to study, so I have no life. Please tell me I'll survive 🙏

You will.
I used to get home from college after my kids were sleeping and then study for crazy exams but I’m almost at the end … my marriage suffered terribly though bec I became very snappy and overtired from the stress.

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 6:32 pm

BatZion wrote:

OP, what amazing parents you have. Your children are so lucky to have involved, loving grandparents!

Thank you! BH I know I'm very very grateful!
It's interesting. They both work part and we always struggled financially but they want to be more present in our lives. There are obviously cons to the financial part but I am so blessed that my parents never missed any milestones. And they're able to be there for my kids. (I won't be relying on them once I graduate iyH.)

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 7:04 pm

amother Pink wrote:

Wow! I can't believe they finalized on the doctorate change. Thank you for letting me know.

From what I hear, Columbia and NYU are not much better than the other schools you listed so don't feel like you're missing out. The education is more or less the same.
I would recommend Downstate, York and Touro. Most of my friends did Touro. They didn't seem to complain about it.
Katz, it's still new and my friend's brother is there. If you want to reach out to me privately I can connect you to him to ask for feedback. I also have contacts for most of the other schools.
At the end of the day you all get the same degree and can apply for the same jobs.

amother

Thu, Jan 18 2024, 7:11 pm

amother Iris wrote:

It seems like other posters answered perfectly.

Right now my schedule changes every few months so my whole family arrangement has to be reevaluated. When I work I am hoping to be more stable.
Now, my commute is up to 2 hours. I will never choose a job that far away.
Now, I come home at 9 some days. I won't choose a job that requires me to come home that late.
Now, I don't work and my husband's income is barely enough to pay for basic necessities. When I start working, I know we won't be bathing in cash but I think we will be able to breathe a little bit.
Now, I have assignments and tests that consume my life outside of school. Once I start working, I hope I won't have to bring much work home. At least not as much as now.
Now, the stress of getting at least an 80 in every class, otherwise..., I don't have to explain how that's different at a job.