Do you give your husband a baby gift?

Tzutzie

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 1:44 pm

No. The baby IS the gift.
Same for me. Dh got me a baby gift with my first. It was really nice. I still use it to this day and my oldest is 10.
He's not great at gifting and didn't with baby 2, 3 and 4 and that's OK.
He did give me a gift after a traumatic miscarriage.
I'm not very into gifts after baby's. I'd rather enjoy a gift l'kuvid yum tov. I've gotten those and I absolutely felt so loved and appreciated. Big brownie points for my man.

Personally, I've never heard of a baby gift for the husband. But, if gifting your husband after a baby enhances your marriage, you able to go out and get it and gift it, then 1000000% do it!!!

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 1:50 pm

My husband got attention too after we had our baby, not just the baby and me. He became a father and everyone commented on what a great one he was BH. And both of our attentions were focused on the baby, not just mine.

I think people are getting triggered at the thought of getting a man a present because the woman just went through hell so that they can have a child. The husband had an or-gasm, that’s about all he contributed. Okay maybe he did some more childcare and housework than his wife during pregnancy but that is nothing compared to the nausea, the constant being discomfort being in your own skin towards the end of pregnancy because your pelvis feels like it’s breaking, the agonizing labor, the postpartum painful recovery, nursing!

amother

Blonde

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:13 pm

I think the way it was presented made it sound a bit like a new sibling present for the children. Making sure everyone is included, no one feels left out…
But the idea is a nice idea. Husbands as well as wives work very hard during this time. No reason they can’t both be acknowledged.
That being said, in our family, we are not very official about gifts so neither of us get a formally designated baby gift.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:16 pm

amother Bisque wrote:

Huh? How did you even come to this conclusion?
What a horrible statement to make.

I didnt come to any conclusion, I was wondering because then the reactions would make more sense. Not sure what's horrible about saying that.

What's horrible are all the responses attacking OP, husbands, and any woman who likes to acknowledge her DH after a new babys arrival. Seems to be a lot of husband haters, that's all.

Genius

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:20 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

Im assuming you have no children yet.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

I love my husband and appreciate him and I’m sure most of the women on this thread do too. We’re not mad at our husbands for not being able to get pregnant instead of us, it’s not their fault Hashem set the world up that way.

That doesn’t change the fact that he pretty much only contributed an o-rgasm to the cause of us having children whereas I went through hell for a year. The thought of me getting him a present is just so astounding.

lamplighter

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:56 pm

You're getting your husband a gift because thats what's done in your family so it seems like a really nice (and normal) thing to do.
The reason for the gift was what threw people off. Buy him gifts every day but please for the love of gd stop feeling bad. You keep saying to show you care .....is there a reason why a postpartum woman is consumed with making sure her husband feels cared for? Why wouldn't he feel cared for, how are you supposed to be caring for him but aren't? Of course you care for him. And you both care for the baby.
It sounds like you're asking about a consolation prize not a celebration of our baby gift

Cheiny

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m aware that this isn’t very common but I didn’t realize how uncommon it was to get your husband a baby gift. To explain, a husband baby gift is a gift you give your DH after you have a baby to show that you still love him and care for him, and aren’t neglecting him just because your shrieking, poopy bundle of joy has taken over your life.

Anyone else does this?

Yes. I give him the baby.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:44 pm

amother Powderblue wrote:

Nobody said he deserves a gift because of all the "work" he did to "have" the baby. OP is talking about getting something to show DH that even though their world is now turned upside down and their relationship is on the backburner, he is still important to her and she appreciates him. Im not sure why that's so triggering to people.

I do something small for DH after each baby because I like to show him im thinking about him and love him, even though my priority is the baby. DH gets me a huge gift after each baby to show me how much he appreciates all the work ive done during/after the pregnancy and will continue to do.

ittsamother

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:56 pm

After our first, I gave my husband a basket filled with some of his favorite treats, and his favorite bourbon. Simply because yes, while I did the majority of the heavy lifting during the whole pregnancy, he was enormously supportive and pampering, and definitely took on a lot more of the household work than he had previously been doing. I felt appreciative of that and wanted to show him. And even if I did a lot of work, there was no reason he shouldn't be appreciated for his support. Both parties involved can be appreciated by the other, it's not a competition.

amother

Bisque

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 5:13 pm

ittsamother wrote:

Feeling appreciative & wife feeling bad & sorry for their husband because they had a baby, are 2 different things.
Feeling bad & sorry for your husband because you have a newborn to care for, is treating the husband like a toddler. Like buying a present for the little kids when mommy has a baby, to make them feel like mom isn't forgetting about them.
A grown adult man, shouldn't need a gift because mommy had a baby & she needs recover & care for the baby. There's a time a place for everything.

amother

Chambray

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 5:59 pm

amother Papaya wrote:

It's only weird because of the mindset. If it would simply be a 'I'm thinking about you gift, that's one thing. But if its about 'I feel bad for you, and I need to make it up somehow', then its twisted.

Imagine a boss assigning a project to his employee. The employee works tirelessly, to the degree where the project takes over her life. She spends every working minute preparing the project, then executing it all the while keeping up with the majority of her responsibilities. Is the employee supposed to feel bad for the things that fall to the wayside? Should she be apologizing and sending little notes his way reminding him how devoted she is to her job? Or should the boss be the one praising her, acknowledging her, and trying to lighten her other workload as much as possible?

In Hashems world, the man assigns the women the project of carrying the child by getting her pregnant. She carries the child for 9 months and then welcomes the child into the world. All the while, she is still carrying most of her other responsibilities. The man should be by her side praising her, acknowledging her, and being there to lighten her other load. The concept of 'feeling bad' for him while she is managing all that is just warped thinking.

amother

Acacia

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 8:28 pm

I gave him a card when he went back to school after the birth of our first child. I wrote something nice about how our lives would never be the same and I was so happy to be on this adventure with him. Sure I gave him a baby too, but becoming a father is a huge milestone and deserves to be acknowledged. Why is everyone so bitter about this lol