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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
amother
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 9:23 pm
amother Bronze wrote: | Exactly. I just don't get it. Are they ignorant?
Even when I was very overwhelmed and quite possibly had ppd I would never dream of not feeding my baby. Why would I just hold a crying baby, tapping them on the back when they hadn't eaten in a few hours? |
Yes, it’s so heartbreaking. I wish there was something to be done about this because I see this lack of knowledge very prevalent. People are holding onto old ideas that were promoted decades ago. There isn’t just physical harm from this but these babies are being hurt emotionally as well. It’s very sad. When babies don’t get their physical needs met in a timely fashion when they are babies it is very damaging to their developing brains and their attachment for life. Mothers, please feed your baby when they want to eat and don’t wait for the clock to allow you feed them.
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amother
Marigold
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 9:30 pm
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amother
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 10:06 pm
When I had my first baby I carefully followed the rules. Fed, burped, changed baby etc every 3-4 hours.
One day I had fed my newborn ( a few weeks old) and he was crying and crying. I walked back and forth, tried burping him.. whatever I did he wouldn’t stop crying. It was only an hour after the last feeding. Out of desperation I decided to make another bottle. I had never done that before. I couldn’t believe when he drank up almost the whole bottle. I didn’t even realize that he was crying because he was hungry since I was following the rules.
After that incident I follow no rules. Baby cries and if baby can’t settle down I feed again. I don’t think I ever woke up my baby in the middle of the night to eat though. Maybe during the first 2-3 weeks? They are supposed to get used to one long stretch and it’s a lot better if the long stretch is when they are sleeping at night
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amother
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 10:26 pm
I very much believe there is a middle of the road. You take cues from your baby but you guide them towards a schedule. So if you’re baby eats every 3.5 hours but it’s screaming after an hour and you KNOW she got enough food last bottle since you know how much she is supposed to be eating based off her weight then you can assume she is crying for a different reason. I’ve never had to feed my baby an hour after her last feeding because she never screamed for more than a few minutes for no obvious reason!
However if she eats every 3.5 hours and it’s 3 hours and 15 min and she’s crying then yes you feed her then.
The reason I wake her up to eat is because I’m nervous to give her too much in the bottles during the day and I want her to get enough oz as per her weight.
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amother
Chestnut
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 10:41 pm
My 7 month old nurses every two hours still. And yes it can be frustrating sometimes especially if we’re out somewhere etc. But I will ALWAYS feed her even if according to her age guidelines she should be able to go much longer. Cuz guess what babies aren’t robots and and if she’s hungry I’m going to feed her.
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amother
Snowflake
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Thu, Jan 25 2024, 11:11 pm
I just don't get it? Since when do we compare baby schedules to adults? Did you go to the bathroom in middle of the night? Do you cry and drink 4 oz as a meal? I mean, most babies wake up in middle of the night 2 or 3 times (depending what you call night). I cant even imagine why you would think a 3 month old sleeps through the night. Why don't you try drinking a bottle for supper and then waiting till breakfast? I mean, what's the comparison?? And babies can only drink and digest a certain amount at a time. The stomach is still small. Maybe give 12 oz twice a day? How practical would that be?
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amother
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Fri, Jan 26 2024, 8:07 am
amother OP wrote: | I very much believe there is a middle of the road. You take cues from your baby but you guide them towards a schedule. So if you’re baby eats every 3.5 hours but it’s screaming after an hour and you KNOW she got enough food last bottle since you know how much she is supposed to be eating based off her weight then you can assume she is crying for a different reason. I’ve never had to feed my baby an hour after her last feeding because she never screamed for more than a few minutes for no obvious reason!
However if she eats every 3.5 hours and it’s 3 hours and 15 min and she’s crying then yes you feed her then.
The reason I wake her up to eat is because I’m nervous to give her too much in the bottles during the day and I want her to get enough oz as per her weight. |
So the problem is waiting for the baby to cry for feeds isn’t how it should be. The schedule is more important and then if if the baby screams I’ll give her food?
Crying is very late sign of hunger. That’s a sign a baby is in distress. So if you’re waiting for that, you aren’t doing responsive feeding. You need to look at baby and watch them for signs if they are hungry. That comes way before the cries comes. Babies go through growth spurts where they need more food and there are days that they want and need more to be satisfied.
Also there is no virtue to guiding them into a schedule. Let baby decide their schedule and we adapt to baby.
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teachkids
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Fri, Jan 26 2024, 8:12 am
amother OP wrote: | I very much believe there is a middle of the road. You take cues from your baby but you guide them towards a schedule. So if you’re baby eats every 3.5 hours but it’s screaming after an hour and you KNOW she got enough food last bottle since you know how much she is supposed to be eating based off her weight then you can assume she is crying for a different reason. I’ve never had to feed my baby an hour after her last feeding because she never screamed for more than a few minutes for no obvious reason!
However if she eats every 3.5 hours and it’s 3 hours and 15 min and she’s crying then yes you feed her then.
The reason I wake her up to eat is because I’m nervous to give her too much in the bottles during the day and I want her to get enough oz as per her weight. |
So definitely try adding an ounce or two to her bottles and not waking her up to feed for a few days and see what happens. She may eat more each feeding. She may switch to eating every 3 hours during the day instead of 3.5, and she may wake up to eat at night still, in which case you should feed her
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