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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Feb 01 2024, 9:56 pm
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Thanks for all the suggestions. We're not very close friends so I don't even know the ages of her other kids and don't feel comfortable getting her any personal items either. We just met through a shared experience and I just want her to know that I'm thinking of her. I like the idea of home baked goodies. I think I'll make some kind of package for her with muffins, snacks etc. Maybe a homemade soup as well
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:12 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Thanks for all the suggestions. We're not very close friends so I don't even know the ages of her other kids and don't feel comfortable getting her any personal items either. We just met through a shared experience and I just want her to know that I'm thinking of her. I like the idea of home baked goodies. I think I'll make some kind of package for her with muffins, snacks etc. Maybe a homemade soup as well |
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amother
Lightcyan
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:13 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Thanks for all the suggestions. We're not very close friends so I don't even know the ages of her other kids and don't feel comfortable getting her any personal items either. We just met through a shared experience and I just want her to know that I'm thinking of her. I like the idea of home baked goodies. I think I'll make some kind of package for her with muffins, snacks etc. Maybe a homemade soup as well |
As a recent NICU mom. This sounds perfect actually.
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:14 pm
As a mother of a recently discharge NICU baby muffins and soup can go a really long way letting someone know that you are thinking of them and care!
I literally get teary eyed thinking of the food a friend prepared for me to eat in the hospital!!
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amother
Violet
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:14 pm
Slightly different perspective.
When my baby was in the nicu the only thing I wanted was to have my baby home. People sent so much food, most of it went to waste. I ate basically nothing and had zero appetite.
What I appreciated most was calls/texts from friends and acquaintances saying they were thinking of me and my baby, davening for the baby, and just checking in in general. A simple "thinking of you and davening for your baby. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help" text meant the world to me.
I lost a really close friend because she didn't once reach out during our difficult journey (she knew about it). When things finally settled down and baby was home I just wasnt much interested in the friendship anymore if she couldn't be there for me during my most challenging time.
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amother
Nemesia
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:16 pm
| amother Obsidian wrote: | One friend bought me snoods with a gift receipt so I could exchange if I didn't like the design. I lived in them!
I also got a reusable water bottle which also came in handy.
A large tote kind of bag came in handy when my babies were old enough to wear clothing in the nicu and I had to do laundry and shlep their clothes back and forth from my house.
An mp3 player filled with jewish music and a pair of earbuds. The hours in the nicu can get very boring! |
Such great ideas
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amother
Garnet
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:20 pm
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In terms of reaching out via text or phone call, one thing I learned was how much I appreciated the texts that people were thinking about me, davening for my baby etc, not the ones that asked questions!!!! Even how are you feeling? Was a triggering question for me - I wanted to respond- like I just had a baby!!!!. Questions felt like an invasion of privacy but I so appreciated the thoughtful comments and texts!
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amother
Violet
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 10:38 pm
Yes! Couldn't agree more with you Garnet. Absolutely no prying texts, those are so inappropriate.
Let them know you are thinking of them and ask them what they need. Don't assume you know what they need. Ask. And I loved it when people added things like "dont feel pressured to respond".
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amother
Puce
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Thu, Feb 01 2024, 11:59 pm
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I was a nicu mom twice. the best gifts were actually physical help. if you can b there in anyway for her that will be appreciated the most. help with errands, taking her other children out, rides to the hospital, meals etc. it was desperately needed and so greatly appreciated.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:38 am
| amother Violet wrote: | Slightly different perspective.
When my baby was in the nicu the only thing I wanted was to have my baby home. People sent so much food, most of it went to waste. I ate basically nothing and had zero appetite.
What I appreciated most was calls/texts from friends and acquaintances saying they were thinking of me and my baby, davening for the baby, and just checking in in general. A simple "thinking of you and davening for your baby. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help" text meant the world to me.
I lost a really close friend because she didn't once reach out during our difficult journey (she knew about it). When things finally settled down and baby was home I just wasnt much interested in the friendship anymore if she couldn't be there for me during my most challenging time. |
Definitely. I keep checking in on her. I bh never had a NICU baby but I have gone through stuff and like you, lost a good friend because she never checked in on me and was just waiting for it to "blow over". 6 months later she suddenly texted with a random question about something mundane.
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rose613
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Fri, Feb 02 2024, 12:45 am
Nicu mom x2
1. Texts letting mom know that you’re thinking of mom and baby and davening. I didn’t have the headspace to text people and once it was a very touch and go situation and didn’t want to share medical details with others but I really appreciated when people checked in
2. Muffins / nutritious snack food
3. Offering help to coordinate play dates / anything for other kids at home. When your in the NICU it’s like your between 3 worlds - your baby in the NICU, your own postpartum recovery, and the home front
4. Offering a ride to and from the NICU if had a c section and can’t drive
5. Normal baby gifts and premie clothing
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amother
Currant
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Fri, Feb 02 2024, 9:12 am
As an ex nicu mom, I would say that the best gift anyone gave me was a book.
Even better were those who asked me or dh what book I wanted.
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