I believe my son's OT is having an aggressive approach

amother

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 8:33 pm

I just started taking my three year old for OTfor sensory issues. He's fragile cautious sensitive emotional and very attached physically. Today was the first actual session cause last time we were just doing paperwork and discussing concerns. So OT told him to sit down on chair to play but my son was not comfortable and and hesitating so I moved up closer so he shouldn't be afraid. So he said I should move to other side of room and we'll work on him not being so attached and our future goal will be He should be okay with me waiting outside. So knowing my anxious child I said don't think we'll get there very soon... He got my son so cooperate by taking out some interesting game and while he was engrossed in the play he asked me to wait outside. I was hesitant to voice my disagreement to sneak out behind my sons back but then figured door is open he'll see me if he's concerned. I left the room and he closed the door minute later till end of session. My son was very cooperative and was enjoying the play time to my surprise he sounded totally okay and comfortable while I was listening in from outside. Originally I thought I'll voice my opinion that why the aggressiveness without telling him anything and by his first session with a complete stranger but at the end
I was thinking he's the professional and has more knowledge and you see it workedmaybe that's best approach? Well only on way out we left when room he started releasing his anxiety and strong emotions and was crying. After school many hour later he was super cranky sensitive too And extremely attached to me.
If you read till here, thanks and please advise. Do I trust him and give it time or do I voice my opinion right at the start which is contradicting his.
Forgot to add he is a fantastical professional kind caring and picked up in a second his sensitive and reserved personality.

mushkamothers

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 8:38 pm

If the professional seems skilled, kind, competent and sensitive then I'd trust him.

Yes your son is still sensitive, and will cry to mommy, and will be attached. That's all fine. But maybe he'll also benefit from this different approach which you think is so "aggressive" so you'll never do, but is maybe in his best interests.

I've been surprised by what my kids can handle when in the hands of skilled professionals. Even if I know them best, the change of approach was good for them.

Give it a try for another session or two and see what happens.

amother

Jade

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 8:40 pm

I'm an OT with close to 20 years experience. I would not have done this, but I can't really say anything about this particular therapist. I will say that you're the mother and you should be comfortable with everything that's happening (as should your son). Please do not ever ignore your gut feeling when it comes to your kids- this therapist might be the expert on certain things, but you're the expert on your son.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 8:58 pm

I’m an OT and have treated children like this and also have a child of my own who was like this too. Personally, my approach is to incorporate the parent into the session. I have noticed that children will tend to pick up on any tension/anxiety on the parent’s part: they feel it, they get affected by it, and will reflect it back by mirroring it. If you’re calm and relaxed, you will impart that to your child as well, and they will also feel more relaxed, feel safe, and let their guard down and be less inhibited. Safety and trust are crucial for developing a therapeutic relationship.

amother

Mocha

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 9:11 pm

I'm an OT and mommy to a few kids who needed OT, SLP etc. Not once have I ever come across an OT doing this, especially not during a first session. It is common for parents to leave their kids with the therapist and pick them up after, but therapists have to respect when a parent wants to be present. Some therapists prefer that parents stay and others find that they work better without being watched. But if you want to be present then they have to respect that. I'm also wondering why the OT decided to add on the goal of making him not need to be near you without asking your consent to include the goal. As a parent of a minor, he needs your consent to 1)work without you being present as well as 2)to add on this goal.

I think that you should call the OT before the next session and find out why he made you leave and explain your son's reaction. Once you hear what he has to say, you can decide if this OT is a good fit for your son.

amother

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 9:42 pm

Thanks all of you for responding. Just wanted to add that I have definitely discussed his attachment as a concern for the physical touch my son always needs. What I was surprised by and disagree with is the tabling this concern and addressing this concern so strong from session one. Like can't you give it some time until he develops a sense of trust and comfortableNess and then we try to work on his independence....

amother

Ecru

Thu, Feb 15 2024, 10:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

It was a bit too premature for the OT to be asking you to step out of your comfort zone at
this juncture. From the way you described it, it seemed like your son readily engaged in the play and therapy activities throughout the session, and it did not sound like he was uncomfortable or ill at ease.
However, the OT must take you into consideration as well, as you are an important part of the therapeutic relationship dynamic too! He should be making the effort to develop that same trust, safety, and comfort with you.

amother

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 11:03 am

My son woke up today morning and first words he said was I don't want to go again to therapy. This and
From the responses here I have decided to yes bring up with the therapist next week that I think we should give it some time before work working on independence. Can it cause attitude that we disagree or it's normal and will prob be understood?

amother

Jade

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 11:06 am

amother OP wrote:

If a therapist gives you attitude you leave. Never subject yourself and your children to therapy that you're not or they are not comfortable with. If he's doesn't understand, he's not a good therapist and you don't need to work with him.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Feb 16 2024, 11:10 am

It might. But that is your sign that you need to leave. Because you are there to advocate and help your child. And if he blames you, then you know he cannot be a partner in helping your child. I'm another person who feels that asking you to leave before he developed a rapport with your child was premature. Now, here are the results and you see that your instincts were right. Keep following them. He's not the only OT in the world.