Stop telling me my baby is small!

Princess23

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 7:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes I have a small baby. She’s in the 3%. She was born small weighing 6 pounds full term. But she’s gaining at her rate! She’s growing beautifully, she’s happy she’s healthy she’s alert and hitting all her milestones. Some even early! She’s smart and cute and beautiful.
Yet all anyone sees is that she’s soo small. “Omg she’s tiny!! Do you feed her?”
“When my baby was that old he weighed 20 pounds!”
“She weighs that much? That’s how much mine weighed when he was born!”

Ughhh the comments are not appreciated. They make me doubt if She really is getting enough to eat. They make me beat myself up that maybe I did something wrong that she was born so small.
I wish people would realize that not all baby's have to be big and chubby!
Ok rant over

My baby was born also very tiny like you’re describing. But, formula been a great help bh and we do a mix of formula and breast milk and weighs normally now bh and isn’t as tiny bh. Have you considered formula?

amother

Gardenia

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 7:53 pm

Tweety and others, you may intend your comments as compliments, but the mom doesn't know that. She is seeing it as a criticism (and of something over which she has no control), and let's be honest, often there is an element of criticism in there whether you realize it or not. The only comments you should be making about someone's baby, unless you're the family's healthcare provider, is how adorable, bright, and friendly the child is.

amother

DarkCyan

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 8:04 pm

I had a small baby, wasn’t even on the charts. And then didn’t gain weight. When I went back to work she was about six pounds. That was at about 8-10 weeks old. The worst comment I got was that she looked like a Holocaust survivor. Gee thanks. Yes, I know she’s small. Yes I know this is the smallest baby you’ve ever held. Yes we’re on top of things. Yes she outgrew newbirn diapers at 4 months. But the flip side is that everyone assumes she’s younger and she is so advanced! Wow I’ve never seen a six month old walk! When she was smiling at a the correct age everyone assumed she was a newbirn.
People are gonna comment. Just smile and act polite and don’t say what you’re thinking in you’re head.

amother

Jetblack

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 8:07 pm

Princess23 wrote:

The OP really isn't looking for suggestions about how to help her baby gain weight.... Her baby is fine
She doesn't appreciate these comments

amother

Ecru

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 8:08 pm

Princess23 wrote:

amother

Bisque

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 8:16 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

My 3yo is 1st percentile for height and weight. She's always been small. It didn't bother me at all if people commented when she was a baby. We're all small in my family and we teach our kids to value what's really important in life, not just your physical appearance.
OP, is it possible you feel a little defensive for some reason? I'm not trying to hurt you, but it just doesn't seem to make sense to me why it bothers you so much. Is it possible you feel vulnerable in this area? If so, please try to address that. A small baby who is growing on her own curve should never reflect poorly on your parenting.

My baby was small and I was nervous about his growth and development, and it pushed my button when other people commented.
Plus he was a boy and I was nervous about him being noticeably short. I know that’s not something I can control but explaining why it pushed my buttons when people commented.

amother

Anemone

Sat, Feb 17 2024, 10:23 pm

My aunt called my mother and told her she needs to intervene. In her opinion my child wasn’t be taken care of bec she looked so small. She was born at 5lb and was a very small baby. At 23 she is petite and 5’1. I did not appreciate the interference. And just for the record the rest of my children were also small. Some babies look like you pumped them with air and some are delicate.