What age to leave kids alone?

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 10:59 am

Chayalle wrote:

You would have to know what the legal age of babysitting is in your state, if your child is being left to watch other kids. And most states have an age for being left alone, as well. Some states have a more lose interpretation. I think it's typically about age 13 or so.

BTW consider the Chilul Hashem aspect when sending your kids out alone. I didn't let my oldest take her siblings to the park alone until she was well in her teens, because she's very petite and didn't look physically old enough.....

This is not a chilul hashem....
It's not a chilul hashem to send kids to the park with their petite older sister....

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 11:28 am

amother PlumPink wrote:

This is not a chilul hashem....
It's not a chilul hashem to send kids to the park with their petite older sister....

It's a chilul Hashem to send kids to public places not adequately supervised. And trust me that's what it would have looked like if I sent her when she was, say, 10 (which I wouldn't do anyway, but just saying. There are 10 year olds who look 15. Mine looked 7.)

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 11:43 am

I leave my 10 yr old home alone for short periods of time (usually at most an hour, sometimes a drop more) I make sure he has a phone and I can check in on him. I have on occasion left him with sleeping siblings when I was within 10 minutes away. He knows to call if they wake up (so far hasn't happened) and that I'll immediately come home. (I won't leave him to watch siblings who are up yet even though he's pretty responsible) I live in a building with lots of neighbors home, that technically he could run to in case of an emergency... maybe if we lived in a house my anwer would be different....

On a few occasions my 8 yr old got home 5-10 minutes before me.... I don't leave him longer then that.

amother

PlumPink

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 11:45 am

Chayalle wrote:

A petite older sister, doesn't mean not adequately supervised.....

amother

Brown

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 12:57 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

Legally there's NO laws in the US for ages of children to be home alone but CPS does have guidelines they consider unsafe

Each state is different but in NY/NJ its over age 6 for a couple minutes and over age 12 for a longer time

That's not accurate. Maryland has laws about ages you can legally be left home alone and an age you can legally watch siblings at home and another age that you can legally babysit other kids. I think a few other states have laws as well.

I would only leave kids if the weather was moderate enough to leave them with the car off and locked, which is rare. But if the weather is ok, I would leave an 8 yo for a few minutes if. 10 yo for slightly longer.

BatyaEsther

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 1:08 pm

I would sooner leave them home alone than in a car.
Is the car on for AC/heat -what is someone touches something.
What if your car is stolen. What is someone hits it in the parking lot. What is someone just wants to steal a child (maybe mine are just particularly cute?) I’m not taking chances. Even if it is 0.000000001% so not worth it

sweetpeasmama

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 9:34 am

I found this link helpful. It shows only 2 states have laws for legal babysitting ages, while many states have laws about minimum age a child can be left alone. https://wisevoter.com/state-ra.....tate/ I agree with many of the other comments that leaving a kid alone in the car would make me more nervous than in the house, but that's a personal feeling. I think it's good to get a sense of what's considered safe from the map, but of course each child will be unique. My oldest daughters also took a CPR and babysitting training course before being left alone with kids. That gave me peace of mind. I think they were 14? That was also a personal choice. I hope you find what works best for your kids and family and what you feel comfortable with!

edited to add: I don't know anything else about the website, just that it showed ages by law for babysitting and being home alone.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:45 pm

I think I was 20 when my sister almost got arrested for leaving me in charge of her kids in a van (I think it was in NJ). I didn't have my license with me because I was new to adulthood and she was driving. She stopped to use the bathroom and pick up a coffee. Not sure how the cop noticed that the van in the parking lot was full of kids (who were a little jumpy but well snacked and fine.) I was petite and wearing a ponytail and in middle of trying to explain to the officer that I was in fact an adult when she came back from the store and somehow convinced him by saying things like "this is my sister, I remember when she was born on month day, year, when I was xx years old as you can see on MY license and no I could not have done the math fast enough to lie about this."

So I'm very careful since then because in addition to safety, there seems to be a law that you need an adult in the car, at least in NJ or NY (we were traveling between the two, not sure which side we were on when this happened)

Anon for this part - I have a couple of times left my 12 year old in the car with a sleeping baby for literally a minute because it's winter here, sleeping babies are delicate miracles not to be messed with, and I feel safer parking them together and going myself to, say, drop off a package at the UPS place or pick something up at the dry cleaner where I can see through the window that there's no line. I would not go shopping or anything potentially distracting while the kids are in the car but a 1 minute run like drop-off/pickup I'm comfortable with. Baby is firmly buckled in a car seat and older siblings are older, no little kids to get into trouble in the 60 seconds I'm out.