Beware what babysitter you send to!

amother

Wheat

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:11 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I'm a babysitter and this is not true. Twice in six hours is not enough. I work five hours daily. Babies are almost always wet when they come, or very soon after. I change them again before naptime, after naptime, and then again after lunch. Some of them will need to be changed one more time before pickup.

Changing twice in 6 hours, is fine.
(Obviously if baby is dirty, they need to be changed immediately. But otherwise, twice in 6 hours is ok.)

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:59 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I don’t change my own baby more than that unless they’re newborn. I use pampers and I’m ok with them being a drop damp.

My babysitter takes the same care for my baby as I do myself. I’m not asking for more.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 11:01 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

Diapers are generally not bulging after 3 hours. (At least not in my experience.)
Do you check your babies diaper every 5 minutes to make sure that they're not wet?

The cheap brand are but that’s why I don’t use the cheap brands.

Anyways changing twice in six hours is certainly not neglect!

amother

Yolk

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 11:53 pm

Look, I haven’t read l the replies so please pardon me if I missed something.

I do have to say that when I was looking for a babysitter for my baby I had a terribly impossible time.

When I tried to ask information people acted like I was being paranoid and spoiled.
When I brought up concerns the answered were- everyone ends up growing up ok in the end.

Then I went to check out places and was horrified! One place I stood knocking and ringing and nobody answered because nobody heard because of all the crying that I was able to hear out the door.
I finally peeled my head in and she almost chopped me up that it’s illegal and trespassing etc.

She must have had 30 screeching babies in there all waiting to be chauffeured home in their bugaboos.

I am also a working mother and understand the importance of babysitting . I ended up paying an older woman near my work to watch my baby. I couldn’t find ONE normal place. (I think Voucher places might be better)

I really agree that you gotta spread awareness and maybe some guilt will help for those babysitters

amother

Watermelon

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:22 am

amother Apricot wrote:

I'm sorry you had a bad experience, changing a baby twice in 6h is totally normal. If you drop off with a clean diaper that means baby was changed every couple of hours.... nothing wrong with that!!

I’d pick him up and his diaper would be soaked. Like I said when I was lucky he got changed twice. Sometimes they didn’t even bother to change him. Usually leaving the poop for me if it’s at the end of the day and it will be leaking thru.

amother

Stone

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:47 am

How often diapers are changed is age and baby dependent. Some need more changes.

Recently, our morah had a sub and I really think she neglected my toddler. She came home with open sores under her nose and as I lifted her into the car, I noticed she was dirty. I had to quickly pick up other kids and then went home and changed her. It was too late. She suffered from a bad diaper rash for a solid week to the point she was crying when I changed her.

I'd say maybe she didn't notice the dirty diaper, but the nose?!?! Her dose drips a bit and it needs to be wiped. She can even be given a tissue. She knows how to blow.

Anyway, I was very grateful when the regular Morah came back and asked me to send cream every day until the rash got better. My toddler never looked like this with Morah BH!

Odelyah

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:31 am

amother Stone wrote:

that's so upsetting though, did you tell her about your experience with the sub? she needs to know.

amother

Magnolia

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:46 am

I sent to a neglectful babysitter.

Yes I called references. They all said how happy they are, how nice the babysitter is, what a small group she takes.

But my baby got diaper rashes - over a full day he was changed only once. The babysitter went through a TON of formula, then said he doesn't like to burp and he throws up all the time. When I suggested she give him to eat less often/smaller bottles, she said no, he's hungry, I give him every 2 hours a full bottle (this was a 3 month old). She kept him in his carriage all day because she didn't like babies on the floor.

After a few weeks I pulled him out. I was speaking to one of the references (an acquaintance of mine) sometime later, and she said, how's it going at babysitter xyz? I told her that I pulled out my baby because of these reasons, and she nonchalantly said "yeah, I don't think she really like to take care of babies, she just does it for the income." THIS FROM A REFERENCE WHO KNEW ME AND SENT HER OWN KID THERE!!!

I'm all for posts creating awareness. I also know how hard it is to find a babysitter. I also know not to trust the references! Trust your gut!!

the world's best mom

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 2:25 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I'm a babysitter too and you are wrong. Most kids come with dry diapers, occasionally one will need changing upon arrival. I check all the diapers whenever someone smells, and every hour or so. Each kid ends up getting changed twice in a typical 5 hour day. It's rare for a kid to need a 3rd change.

I did once babysit a kid who was always soaking wet and his diaper would leak if I didn't change him every hour. But that was not the norm.

DrMom

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 2:30 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I'm going to leave it at disagreeing and keep to my standards. I check my babies for wet diapers about every 30 min, give or take a few min. There is no need for a baby to be wearing a urine pouch.

Every 30 minutes? That sounds a bit obsessive to me.

At what age do your kids toilet train?

I can't imagine diaper-checking 2x/hour for 2-4 for years.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:26 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

Sorry this doesn't sound normal to me. The ones with bottles (majority of them) need to be changed usually before and definitely after naptime, and after eating. They eat twice by me so that's already 3-4 times. Often I change them again before pickup if they're even a little wet because I know it might be an hour or more before they get home and will be changed again.

I know there are parents that won't change a diaper until it has been used several times. This is not an acceptable standard for me. I aim for dry, comfortable, clean, happy babies.

3/4 of my children come with wet diapers. Sometimes with a dirty diaper. Some of them still wearing the diaper from the night before. Some of them wearing yesterday's stained clothing. Some of them waiting to eat breakfast by me.

I don't judge parents, I only want to help them because I know how hard it is to be on top of everything. I see my role as helping parents to raise their children as much as I can during their few hours under my care. Since we value having children, to make it a bit easier for them. Most of all that they shouldn't worry one iota about their children while they're with me.

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:08 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

I really think you need to specify age here. When talking about a baby that is having a bottle every 3 hours, so up to lets say 9-10 months, yes they need to be changed frequently, between 3-5 times in the 5 or 6 hours at the babysitter. When talking about a baby who has just 1 bottle lets say just before or after their nap - which ime is most babies older than 9-10 months, then usually 2-3 diaper changes a day is enough.

amother

Quince

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:27 pm

For all those saying that mothers who send to these neglectful sitters must not speak to references- that is not true. I have researched many playgroups for my kids and for most I got great references from real friends of mine who had sent their kids there. (So it’s not like these were “references” that the morah herself gave me). 80% of the time, when I went to check the place out myself (as I always did), I was horrified or at the very least very disappointed in what I saw. Children milling around doing nothing all day in a dim windowless room, insane ratios, outright neglect. And yes these friends I asked were all “normal” people.

I learned that everyone has very very different standards about what is considered good, or even adequate, childcare and that most people, even your friends who you think are just like you, are not aware of what constitutes proper care. So simply speaking to references is never enough. As a poster in this thread detailed, she spoke to close friends who had sent to an morah and still had a horror story. You have to go see for yourself, and even when you visit, you need to know the right questions to ask and also read/see between the lines because the morah is usually going to be putting her best foot forward.

They all being said, Baruch Hashem after thorough checking I have found and used fantastic fantastic playgroup Morahs for my children (I keep them home till around age 2.5), they have thrived under their Morah’s care and I am so grateful to them and I let them know it!!!

amother

Narcissus

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:14 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

BH this is very very atypical. You had to have been at one of the moros who has a name for doing such a thing. Just the fact that she yelled at you for trespassing when you peeked in is a huge tip-off.

You can post the name of the Morah if you want to spread awareness.

Regarding not being able to find one normal place that is really dependent on where you live. I live in Lakewood in a very yeshivish neighborhood. The two Lakewood neighborhoods I lived in before this were also very yeshivish. I BH was always able to send to neighbors who I knew and trusted and who had no issue with me popping in in middle of the day. If you live somewhere that people don’t like to babysit then you are going to have a much harder time. The babysitters I’ve sent to love their jobs and the babies.