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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:37 pm
| amother Chocolate wrote: | I definitely sympathize
But let’s not refer to this type of income as “getting by” |
It wasn’t, but now that’s all I want.
And I’ve accumulated a lot of debt now, which needs repaying, and living costs do add up to a lot without fancy clothing, vacations, cars etc…
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amother
Leaf
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:38 pm
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Oy that’s so hard!!! Can I ask what happened that it went from 40 to 0? I also have busy months and slow months are you a service based business?
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amother
OP
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:38 pm
| amother RosePink wrote: | You are being blunt so I will too 😆 you are a fancy lady.
That being said, I'm sorry your salary decreased. That is upsetting. What happened? |
I know you would like to think so, but I’m just not!
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amother
Gray
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:41 pm
I earn close to 20k a month combined with one kid… and I’m definitely broke at times and not at all rich. So if OP has more kids than me, I really get it.
For those that say they earn it in a year, I have no programs, pay full taxes and insurance PLUS medical bills because there’s a deductible.
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:47 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | Everyone agreeing with this is incorrect. When a frum family is living with no tuition breaks, no reduced health insurance, and buys a house dependent on a certain income, $40k a year can definitely not be enough to leave them “swimming in money”. Able to cover expenses- sure. But not ultra rich by any means.
Let’s break down hypothetical costs for a typical frum family with 6 school age kids.
Monthly income:
$40k
Monthly expenses:
$11,600 taxes (29%)
$2,800- maiser (10% of net income)
$5,500- mortgage/property tax (this is actually not a super high mortgage for anyone who bought a house post Covid)
$6,000- tuition ($12k/kid/year)
$2,500- medical/dental
$2,500- groceries (not super high for a fam of 8)
$1,000- camp/summer ($2k/kid/summer)
$1,000- utilities/bills
$500- gas/car insurance
$600- cleaning help (once a week)
$500- home/life insurance
$500- clothing ($750/person/year)
Total: $35,000
I don’t believe any of the expenses I detailed above are outrageously high. However, look how easy it is to get to $35k a month spending. And this is before any thing extra, like pizza, chol hamoed outings, bikes for kids, matzah for pesach, simchas, therapy, tutors, or ANY savings. It would not be so easy for someone in the position above to find areas to significantly cut back especially if they’re not used to watching their spending so closely.
So yes, it’s crazy, but $40k/month isn’t Uber wealthy at all anymore for a frum family of 8. |
Nobody said she was ultra wealthy (I know she’s not) and even if she does have 6 kids (huh?) and these numbers make sense, having an extra 5k a month for extras is still not considered “getting by”. It’s comfortable living, even if within a budget.
Either way I’m not negating her experience at all. I have a family member who earned a lot lot more and is now earning nothing, and my heart breaks for them.
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greengrapes
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:48 pm
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You can come on and say your income went down and your struggling, but to say your 40k is "getting by" to me is called tone deaf, humble bragging or just plain not nice. Dh and I together working to the bone make 10k a month. We are "getting by"
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | It wasn’t, but now that’s all I want.
And I’ve accumulated a lot of debt now, which needs repaying, and living costs do add up to a lot without fancy clothing, vacations, cars etc… |
100% agree, and the debt is a killer. I hope your situation turns around really soon and you get back to where you were plus even more
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Plonis bas Plonis
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:55 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | Everyone agreeing with this is incorrect. When a frum family is living with no tuition breaks, no reduced health insurance, and buys a house dependent on a certain income, $40k a year can definitely not be enough to leave them “swimming in money”. Able to cover expenses- sure. But not ultra rich by any means.
Let’s break down hypothetical costs for a typical frum family with 6 school age kids.
Monthly income:
$40k
Monthly expenses:
$11,600 taxes (29%)
$2,800- maiser (10% of net income)
$5,500- mortgage/property tax (this is actually not a super high mortgage for anyone who bought a house post Covid)
$6,000- tuition ($12k/kid/year)
$2,500- medical/dental
$2,500- groceries (not super high for a fam of 8)
$1,000- camp/summer ($2k/kid/summer)
$1,000- utilities/bills
$500- gas/car insurance
$600- cleaning help (once a week)
$500- home/life insurance
$500- clothing ($750/person/year)
Total: $35,000
I don’t believe any of the expenses I detailed above are outrageously high. However, look how easy it is to get to $35k a month spending. And this is before any thing extra, like pizza, chol hamoed outings, bikes for kids, matzah for pesach, simchas, therapy, tutors, or ANY savings. It would not be so easy for someone in the position above to find areas to significantly cut back especially if they’re not used to watching their spending so closely.
So yes, it’s crazy, but $40k/month isn’t Uber wealthy at all anymore for a frum family of 8. |
Some peoples monthly salary is not even what her extra 5k is.
So even if she’s not rolling in money, she definitely is more then getting by.
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amother
RosePink
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:56 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Actually it was down to 0 for a while but has slowly gone up..
Now it’s about 10k to 15k on a good month.
And it just doesn’t work! |
I'm sorry, OP. Iyh things should start turning up for you very soon.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:59 pm
| greengrapes wrote: | | You can come on and say your income went down and your struggling, but to say your 40k is "getting by" to me is called tone deaf, humble bragging or just plain not nice. Dh and I together working to the bone make 10k a month. We are "getting by" |
How in the world are you getting by?
Do you get any govt help?
I just can’t do it…
Tax? Maser?
Our mortgage is lower end-as I said simple house in Brooklyn $3200
Simple minivan $600 range plus gas’s insurance etc.
Tuition approx $5000
Utilities approx $1000
Medical insurance $1000+ without being able to go to the dentist or doc cuz of minimums and deductibles
Food is a biggie $3500 and I started shopping very cheap…we do eat a lot.
And these are the non negotiables without including buying a pair of socks, or Mishloach Manos, or mikvah….
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Plonis bas Plonis
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:00 pm
| amother OP wrote: | How in the world are you getting by?
Do you get any govt help?
I just can’t do it…
Tax? Maser?
Our mortgage is lower end-as I said simple house in Brooklyn $3200
Simple minivan $600 range plus gas’s insurance etc.
Tuition approx $5000
Utilities approx $1000
Food is a biggie $3500 and I started shopping very cheap…we do eat a lot.
And these are the non negotiables without including buying a pair of socks, or Mishloach Manos, or mikvah…. |
How does all listed above equal to 40k?!
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amother
OP
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:02 pm
Now I’m referring to my current income which is comparable to the poster I quoted, and she claims to be getting by, but I just can’t get by with this income at all!
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:03 pm
| Plonis bas Plonis wrote: | Some peoples monthly salary is not even what her extra 5k is.
So even if she’s not rolling in money, she definitely is more then getting by. |
Anyone making less than $5k a month is getting massive assistance and breaks for most of the items in the expenses list I detailed. Incomparable.
And of course, I never claimed that she’s just scraping by with $40k. All I said was she wasn’t rolling in dough and the people getting so bitter about the fact that she even posted, must not be aware of how quickly frum expenses add up.
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amother
Daylily
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:05 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | Anyone making less than $5k a month is getting massive assistance and breaks for most of the items in the expenses list I detailed. Incomparable.
And of course, I never claimed that she’s just scraping by with $40k. All I said was she wasn’t rolling in dough and the people getting so bitter about the fact that she even posted, must not be aware of how quickly frum expenses add up. |
That is not true. We don’t get any assistance, we make a drop too much. But there are many people right above the line who are massively struggling with no assistance. Your assumption that anyone who makes 5k must be eligible for help is skewed…
Tuition we don’t pay because we are in a voucher state.
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Plonis bas Plonis
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:07 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | Anyone making less than $5k a month is getting massive assistance and breaks for most of the items in the expenses list I detailed. Incomparable.
And of course, I never claimed that she’s just scraping by with $40k. All I said was she wasn’t rolling in dough and the people getting so bitter about the fact that she even posted, must not be aware of how quickly frum expenses add up. |
I don’t people care so much about the fact that she’s posting.
She has every right to and I sympathize with her. Its not easy having to live with less then your used to.
But what got people upset was her comment about just “getting by” which IMO was tone deaf.
Though I guess everyone has different parameters of what getting by means.
One persons luxury is another’s necessity.
Edited for spelling
Last edited by Plonis bas Plonis on Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Crimson
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:08 pm
| amother Daylily wrote: | That is not true. We don’t get any assistance, we make a drop too much. But there are many people right above the line who are massively struggling with no assistance.
Tuition we don’t pay because we are in a voucher state. |
Ok, so you are making less than $60k gross a year. I assume you are unable to cover your expenses (assuming you have children)? Unfortunately you are at one extreme and definitely not the typical. Typical frum family is making a lot more than $60k gross. So it’s unfair to tell OP that she can’t post just because you are in a very unfortunate situation (which you should have a yeshua from soon!).
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amother
Chocolate
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:10 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | Anyone making less than $5k a month is getting massive assistance and breaks for most of the items in the expenses list I detailed. Incomparable.
And of course, I never claimed that she’s just scraping by with $40k. All I said was she wasn’t rolling in dough and the people getting so bitter about the fact that she even posted, must not be aware of how quickly frum expenses add up. |
Except you were responding to my post. I have no issue with her posting and think she’s in a horrible, stressful position
I dont think she’s rolling in it. But 40k is more than getting by, that’s all I said.
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amother
Daylily
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:10 pm
| amother Crimson wrote: | | Ok, so you are making less than $60k gross a year. I assume you are unable to cover your expenses (assuming you have children)? Unfortunately you are at one extreme and definitely not the typical. Typical frum family is making a lot more than $60k gross. So it’s unfair to tell OP that she can’t post just because you are in a very unfortunate situation (which you should have a yeshua from soon!). |
That is true. Although I think we are far from the only ones.
And I never told OP she can’t post, I was just commenting on what you wrote.
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amother
Opal
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:13 pm
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Op - I hope the situation turns around soon!! If you are averaging about $150,000 annually now (based on your post that is is abotu $10,000-$15,000/month now), please request a tuition discount! $5,000 a month for tuition is more than a third of your income and it is not possible to live like that, even if you skimp on everything else. It's okay to ask the tuition committees to consider a reduction mid-year, based on the change in your situation.
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amother
Navy
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Wed, Mar 27 2024, 1:20 pm
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What type of job pays 40k a month? I have a very good job and it’s only 8k after taxes. My goal was to reach 15k a month. Didn’t think 40k was an option. Would really love to know which field this is
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