I want my $40,000 a month paycheck back…

amother

Heather

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:18 pm

I am really disappointed in some of the posters here.

My income is about 90k a year, family of 5. I struggle to cover monthly since we got married over 10 years ago.

My sister has been making these number or more for most of her marriage and suddenly is in a similar situation as the OP. You have no idea how hard this struggle is. They used to give loads and loads of Tzeddaka that they cant afford now. The meshaluchim dont understand when my bil tells them this is all he can give now. They dont want to hear him say it and its mortifying for him to have to explain this to strangers, over and over again.

They also have to keep saying no to their teenagers. Its a hard adjustment on them all. They are entitled to vent. They are entitled to our sympathies. If you sympathize it will not change your income .

amother

Crimson

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:24 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

I’m still waiting to see what job it was that paid 40k a month …il be looking at a career change

I laugh when I see comments like this. It’s not your lack of knowing the job title that’s stopping you from earning $40k a month. It’s not like if someone tells you “doctor” “business owner” “property manager” you will suddenly find the key to earning more money. It’s about brains skills and effort.

amother

Navy

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:27 pm

amother Crimson wrote:

Really? No it’s not about brain skills and effort. Most jobs have a pay range and it won’t go higher regardless of how hard you work. Very few even have the possibility and yes people want to know what they are.

amother

Peru

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

$40k is not getting by! Bh we were in a good place then.
I’m sorry you all thought I implied that.
All I said, is that now I want to just get by-at least! And 10-15k is just not cutting it.

The thing is even with $40k I was not living an extravagant life, because it just doesn’t cover a fancy lifestyle.

We paid tax
We gave 20% maaser
We paid for a good life insurance (which btw can’t just be stopped unless you want to lose all you invested)
Mortgage
Utilities
Car
Cleaning help
Tuition
Food
Misc
Clothing
Summer camp (mostly non optional) and bungalow
Yom tov
Simchas
Gym
And just living life…..

The bolded is what I don't do because I can't afford. To me that's not basics. I would say car, clothes, simchos and yom tov all can be scaled down, if necessary. This is the answer to " how you get by for under $10k" from a mother of 8.

amother

Hibiscus

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:46 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Agree to disagree. I started out making 55k as a baby lawyer and have paved my own path since. Much of it has been skill, dedication and extreme sacrifice/ hard work. Mazel helped. But whenever I hit a pay ceiling, I pushed through in other ways. Not everyone makes it; the same is true in every business. Brains, effort and skill along with Mazel help. I made a career for myself and command a high paycheck as a result of my efforts. Jealousy over my income is ridiculous. Go through grad school, excel, work your tush off for years and keep expanding your practice, network constantly, etc. and put in the WORK to become a higher earner. If you choose a career that you can't exceed a certain income threshold then that's part of your problem. But griping about that and making snippy comments like those who cant even imagine making so much, well - I can't imagine not having anything because I chose a different life. Does that mean I shouldn't give tzedakah to those less fortunate? Should I turn off my ability to empathize with others who aren't high earners because how could I relate? I'm so tone deaf and out of touch, right? So don't ask for my maaser or help, free of charge. Don't let the principals of your schools ask me to cover another child's tuition because his parents aren't making it. This goes both ways. Without high earners to supplement what lower earners can't cover in our socioeconomic demographic, schools couldn't give tuition breaks and tomchei shabbos wouldn't have enough to help. It's a symbiotic relationship. Losing your income, at whatever level, is hard. It's harder when so many people rely on your contributions, on top of family financial obligations. So take a good look at your jealousy and decide whether it's worth the energy behind it. Someone is hurting. How can both sides of the income line not sympathize? I'm shocked at the callousness on this thread.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:51 pm

amother Heather wrote:

It says that the test of riches is harder than the test of poverty.
I believe it.
My brain does not comprehend 40k/month.

amother

Mint

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 6:57 pm

I’m honestly baffled from this thread. We are a family of 7 kah and make about 20k a month of combined income. We have a couple of kids in therapy which has been exhausting our income, pay full tuition, mortgage, car expenses, insurance, cleaning help, groceries, utilities- you name it and bh we have money to save each month. If we would be making double what we make now we’d be living the high life!!!

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:07 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Can you do a breakdown?
Do you pay taxes? Maaser? Insurance?
And what your other fixed expenses are?
I’d love to hear that it’s doable once we reach that income….

mig100

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:10 pm

amother Heather wrote:

I agree its hard and she's allowed to vent

I still can understand why others are annoyed

amother

Navy

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:10 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

You are a lawyer. Enough said. Nothing wrong with asking which fields have these numbers. Yes lawyers make this plus much more. No teachers, Ot, secretary, office worker etc.. is able to ever make that amount. Why are you pretending field doesn’t matter? It absolutely does.

amother

Hibiscus

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:20 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Please reread my comment. If someone chooses a field that doesn't yield enough income to support a family, that's her choice. I am not saying field doesn't matter but rather, those who enter them do so at the expense of a higher paying career. There is a trade off. I believe my comment was clear enough.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:55 pm

amother Navy wrote:

It’s like in the designer clothing stores… if you have to ask the price you can’t afford it.

What I mean is, I think when most people go into a field they’re generally aware of what the cap is. And most people know that the vast majority of people earning $400k+ are business owners, in virtually any/every field. The rest are mostly lawyers and doctors. But everyone asking “what do you do to earn so much??” Already knows everything I just typed. Being a business owner involves a lot of risk, brains, and effort. They know this too. So why are they asking? It’s not going to help them. Either they already know they have what it takes, or they don’t. It’s not like till now they’ve been a speech therapist earning $70k and suddenly someone replies to their comment saying “I earn $400k importing wholesale cabinetry from china” and they will have a revelation “oh wow this is what I need to do to earn more money!”