Is non-vaxxing a reason to nix a shidduch? Poll

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Is anti-vaxxing a reason to nix a shidduch?

Yes

80%

[ 279 ]

19%

[ 68 ]

Total Votes : 347

amother

Watermelon

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:50 am

I'd do more research and find out more.
There are families that make it into a whole big deal and this is a big part of their lifestyle that overtakes other areas of priority, and others who asked their Rav, were told not to vaccinate, and that's that.
I know some wonderful, healthy, balanced families who I'd be absolutely thrilled to do a shidduch with who don't vaxx. I wouldn't call them 'anti-vaxxers' because that seems to indicate very strong opinions and personalities.
I know some anti-vaxxers, and though I think they're wonderful people, I wouldn't want to do a shidduch with them because there's too many areas of controversy (since that's their personality, and they're pretty strong-minded about everything and generally convinced that it's their way or the highway).
But still, there are many families who don't vaccinate either because of a specific concern, specific experience, or a Rav's guidance. They aren't outspoken about it, and they're generally soft and easygoing people. For a family like that, I wouldn't be worried at all.

amother

Gladiolus

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 4:32 am

amother Mocha wrote:

I don't vax, and neither does my family. We do natural stuff, but also antibiotics as needed. We're not extreme in any direction and the vaxxing isn't "part of my personality." I probably think about it less than people who DO vaxx because I don't even think about where my kids are up to and which shot they need!
I don't think the problem is the vaxxing (or not) the problem is the extremeness. I wouldn't do a shidduch with someone who's extreme in any area, whether it's extreme pro or anti vaxx, or extreme in a different area.
And I don't think people who are natural have kids home sick more often... that doesn't even make sense. Measles and mumps don't go taround often enough for people to be sick all the time. Also, once you have it, you're immune.

The reason they don’t is because of all the people who vaccinate!

amother

Wandflower

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 5:13 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

The reason they don’t is because of all the people who vaccinate!

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 8:29 am

My DD’s friend was not vaccinated. Parents didn’t vax. In her 18th bday she was late for school because she took herself to the MD to get vaccinated.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to see where the girl stands than where her parents stand?

#BestBubby

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:13 am

amother Gladiolus wrote:

The reason they don’t is because of all the people who vaccinate!

Most non vaxxers deliberately expose their kids to chicken pox and measles to give their kids natural lifelong immunity.

And there are outbreaks of measles even with 95% vaxxed because vaccine immunity wears off in about 10 years, plus about 7% of vaccines fail from the start.

#BestBubby

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 9:56 am

Majority of anti vaxxers were pro vaxxers who became anti vax after their child was vaccine injured.

So no way to know if a Pro vaxxer shidduch will become anti vax in the future.

Supermom#1

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:03 am

amother DarkMagenta wrote:

I'm giving a chicken, you're giving a goat, let's make a deal
Lol I've never heard these either not even in Yiddish

yes, it is a yiddish expression and OP simply translated. If you're yiddish speaking, you would recognize it.

Supermom#1

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 11:08 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Non vax is no small thing.. means you may not want their kids around your other grandchildren, means they are at high risk of certain dangerous illnesses, means they will be extremely limited in schooling and medical care, I would stay far away unless your son has some major blemishes also .

my goodness, seems like you don't know many anti-vax families in real life. They are very healthy kids in general, they go to school, and they play with family and neighbors, and they receive medical care as needed.

amother

Daffodil

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:02 pm

Question about non-vaxxers… which schools still allow kids to attend when they’re not fully vaxed? I know my school used to allow religious exemptions, but they stopped that years ago, I believe when there was a measles outbreak…

amother

Babypink

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:03 pm

I know of people who did shidduchim from opposite ends and it works for them but the couple agreed on what they wanted to do for their future family and were in agreement.

Also in general it can work if they aren't fanatic at the ends of the spectrum. Because you need open minded easy going types to make it work.

lakewood mom

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:23 pm

It’s ironic to see that women here are scared to go near the anti vaxxers for their extremism. Yet, their quick, judgmental response combined with some negative and false info on anti vaxxers seems mighty extreme to me!

You’re worried about extremism? Look at your responses! So quick to smear the anti vaxxers. The term anti vaxxer was made up by the medical establishment as a term of negativity and a smear campaign. Did YOU do any research on what’s in the vaccines that you’re giving your children? I’d have to think not. If you would know that the vaccines were never tested against an actual placebo… you’d probably think twice and research it. Do you think mothers and fathers WANT to go against doctors and mainstream society? Do you think they enjoy having their neighbors speak disgusting about them behind their backs? And last- do you think they want to harm their children??? If someone made this decision- it came from good reason. Someone they know could’ve been vaccine injured- which led them to do extensive research. Once you know- you know. If someone chooses to not vaccinate- they have to know what needs to be done in the evening that their children do get something. This entails a lot more work than those who vaccinate. Why would anyone want to have all this work if they didn’t think it was in their childrens best interest? People who choose not to vaccine are educated, well researched and truly value informed consent. We are all so indoctrinated that vaccination is THE ONLY WAY and anyone against is it a quack that we fall for this narrative hook, line and sinker. But did we do any research ourselves??? Do you know that the vitamin K shot you give your brand new baby comes with a black box warning??? Bet your doctor didn’t tell you that! So why are we constantly putting down people that took the time and are brave enough to go against the easier route that everyone else takes?
I don’t need a response to this. It’s just food for thought. Fight your indoctrination and think for a minute before you spit back the feelings that your taught to have.

amother

Alyssum

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:43 pm

lakewood mom wrote:

Same to you, Anti-vaxers. Why do you assume that we didn't make research, and found that polio was a very damaging and sometimes deadly disease. Why do you assume that WE are not educated? you made your decision, and if I don't agree to that lifestyle, I have a right to stay away from you in shidduchim. Please don't judge US!!!

lakewood mom

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 1:54 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Everyone is entitled to their own decisions. I was commenting on the extremism being done to those who choose not to vaccine- when they’re accused of being extreme! It was an observation.
Do you mind sharing your research of polio with me? Yes- it was very damaging and sometimes deadly. What else did your research tell you? When was it eradicated? Was there any contributing factors that made the disease deadly? What caused the disease? Please share your research. I love learning from everyone.

amother

Brickred

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 2:03 pm

I am what I would call vaccine cautious. I didn't get the covid vaxx. My kids are all older teens and up, so we talked about it and they made their own decisions (came out half and half). When they were children, I vaccinated my kids on a slower schedule but in the end they were all fully vaxxed, with exception of one vaxx for one kid where I had reason to think she might have a really bad side-effect.

I think that for me, the ideal shidduch family would be one where they are not militant either way. But that's the ideal. No one gets absolutely everything they want and there are other values that matter more to me than this does.

amother

Honey

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 2:16 pm

I started out vaxxing, stopped for many years and was antivax, and then started again when I realized I was being more extreme than I was comfortable with.
My kids were never sick when they didn't have shots. And never sick BH with shots.
I would not be completely dismissive but it wouldn't be my first choice. I would have to look into it deeper.
My reason is because I like to be middle of the road mainstream and not extreme on either end. We are not covid vaxxed because it didn't make sense at the time for us to get the shot and now it certainly doesn't.

oneofakind

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 2:20 pm

Extremes on either side aren't healthy.

amother

Crocus

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 4:17 pm

81% would nix a Shidduch for anti-vax??? I'm flabbergasted. No wonder there's a Shidduch crises.

#BestBubby

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 4:24 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

81% would nix a Shidduch for anti-vax??? I'm flabbergasted. No wonder there's a Shidduch crises.

It's more than Not vaxxing.

How do non vaxxers get their kids into schools and camps?

Many vax against their will because of the above issue.

Those of you who don't vax, how do you get your kids into school?

Trademark

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 4:29 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

81% would nix a Shidduch for anti-vax??? I'm flabbergasted. No wonder there's a Shidduch crises.

It's usually a red flag for many other things.

lakewood mom

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 6:23 pm

Trademark wrote:

It's usually a red flag for many other things.

Like, what? Please elaborate.

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