Help from organizations for middle class

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 7:32 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

How do you want them to manage funds and goods better? What does this mean?

Some organizations go "all out" for the people on their list. Stocking their closets with new clothing and accessories, red meat and not just chicken for a regular Shabbos etc. In other words lots of extras. Maybe she is hoping that they lower quality so they can serve more people.
But then you have the people like on a previous thread wanting better quality ground beef from tzeddakah funds and "less but better" mentality 🙄 .

amother

Lily

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 8:44 pm

There is plenty of help for middle class, I get assistance every year for Pesach. You need to reach out to your local JCC/COJO type organizations if your in New York call Met Council on Jewish Poverty they can and will assist you just google them.

To the op who wrote about clothing and red meat - I get assistance but never that!

It's usually just Pesach staples nobody is handing out roasts and steaks, and honestly it doesn't even tempt me.

The only time I got clothing was from dd's school and it was one outfit for dd. Ds's school gave out one suit as well.

Maybe it's one specific place that gives out red meat and clothing but I never heard of it, if you can share the info it would be helpful!

amother

Poinsettia

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's not only food expenses that middle class need help with.
I think that middle class should also be entitled to get coupons to clothing & shoe stores. And I also think that if the organizations that provide food would allocate their funds & goods better, then more people would be able to get help.

I got some coupons today but its Mamesh a joke. Most stores only 10% off only if paid with cash. Dont think there is anything worthwhile there.
And this is made especially for the middle income but it feels like a choizek.

amother

Thistle

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's then time of year again, when organizations are providing help for families for yom tov. Yet it's the same people that are getting all the help, while the middle class are left floundering with nothing available for us. I think something must change.
I wish that there's something we can do to make change happen that middle class should also be able to get help before yom tov.

AND we are asked to chip in for these tzedakas without any glory like the uber rich get. (nobody is honoring me at a dinner even if I give the same percentage of my earning to tzedaka as the wealthy do!)
The wealthy are presented with glory, the poor benefit with gifts and we in the middle do the best we can while our kids think we are poor for not having what all the other have.

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:15 pm

Some organizations give out $85 cards for shoes

My friend gave me 2 cards a few years ago. I’ve been searching for those organizations the past few years. That would be a huge help.
Yes the coupons with 10% off are a joke..
There needs to be some more serious help. I have alot of anxiety about this season’s expenses. I haven’t even started shopping for anything yet.

notshanarishona

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:22 pm

This is a pet peeve, no one needs shoes specifically for Pesach. You don’t have to buy your kids new shoes and a whole spring wardrobe for Pesach. Limit the expenses to those things you need for the holidays and spread out the clothes/ shoes / summer stuff for a cheaper time of year even if it’s only a month later.
I agree that the tzedakos aren’t necessarily fair or given out to those who need it the most. I also think the concept of yom tov needs has gotten way out of hand and people are being given things which is a misuse of tzedakah such as overpriced Jewish brand clothing/ accessories.

amother

DarkOrange

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:23 pm

amother Lily wrote:

Not everyone has those resources in their community. My city only gives the chinuch/kollel people (even if spouses are making a lot of money!) And the very poor. No help for anyone in between.

The red meat comment is based off another thread. She got ground beef and was upset it was in a tube and not "good quality enough".

amother

Poinsettia

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:29 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I do that but just the basic yom tov is very expensive and food goes up up up . Almost every week the paycheck goes just for food because hey middle income and no food stamps.
Ds needed a new bekitche recently he got in february instead of waiting for pesach.
We had a wedding recently and dd and ds needed shoes so they got then.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:32 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I'm in boro park. Every neighbors kids will be dolled up on yom tov with new clothing, shoes and accessories. Me feeling the pinch in my pocket and telling my kids we'll get them new clothes at a later date doesn't help my kids feel happy. Legit every neighbor is coming out fully bedecked in new stuff. It's a social norm and unless your kids are uber strong in their confidence, it's not acceptable to skip. Maybe if I lived out where there's no pressure

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:36 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Growing kids tend to outgrow shoes and clothing in 6 months which comes out to pesach time. My kids shoes are worn out they definitely can’t walk around in them anymore. They are wearing the shoes I got for spring. Your pet peeve doesn’t take reality of many families into account.

notshanarishona

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:38 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

My point is buy shoes when your kids need them, not specifically because it’s erev yom tov. Shoes don’t wear out by the calendar and it’s not an all kids or none.

amother

Lightgray

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:40 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

My point is buy shoes when your kids need them, not specifically because it’s erev yom tov. Shoes don’t wear out by the calendar and it’s not an all kids or none.

You are missing the point that it works out for most/ many the same time as pesach. Making it a difficult time money wise and there is no choice to push it off.

notshanarishona

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:42 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

The problem is teaching the kids from when their young to give into social pressure instead of teaching them to be happy with what they have. Maybe start with your younger ones, and let your 4 year old be excited about her new dress without also needing a headband and shoes . Even my 10 year old can be happy with a new dress without any accessories. And I am not saying she wouldn’t appreciate them, she just knows not to ask unless she needs them.
Kids can be happy on very little, it’s up to the parents to teach kids to be happy with what you have (within reason).
I am not saying that everyone should be deprived. I just think it’s a problem that basic tzedaka and maos chittim for Pesach has turned into brand name overpriced Jewish brand shoes (which you can get for half or less price at the mall or target or Burlington or wherever).

notshanarishona

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:44 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

You are missing the point that it works out for most/ many the same time as pesach. Making it a difficult time money wise and there is no choice to push it off.

My point is just that shoes specifically for yom tov is an extra, not a basic yom tov need. Again, if there was enough tzedakah money for everyone to buy whatever they wanted then great. But with limited funds I think it should be priority for basics of food , and then maybe one- two yom tov dress/ suit per kid at an affordable store , the basics of tzedakah meaning $1000 per kid is in my opinion a misuse of tzedakah.

amother

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:49 pm

amother Ruby wrote:

How do you want them to manage funds and goods better? What does this mean?

Organizations should make sure that the people they're giving to, don't get from other organizations. This way, more people can get.
Instead of giving cases upon cases of items per family, they can give less per family, so they can give to more people.
Most people don't use the amount of things they get for yom tov. Especially people that aren't even home for some or all of yom tov.
In my community, the system with organizations is so skewed. The kollel/chinuch families, are dressed to the nines in the height of fashion, funded by coupons they get. The middle class is left struggling while all help goes to the same people.

amother

Bellflower

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:52 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I don't think anyone actually gives out $1000 a kid. I know my friend got money for clothes and it was around $1200 for a large size family. Which was really helpful! But definitely not $1000 per kid.

giftedmom

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:54 pm

amother DarkOrange wrote:

Totally agree that places need to help more. Unfortunately too many people "game" the system, dont really need it, and get from multiple organizations. So there is nothing left for anyone else.
I am technically poor now. We lost 1 income so after rent, daycare, health insurance, taxes, gas for the car and other actual necessities (My car is old, not leased, not big enough for family)--- we have no money. Not talking about food, clothing etc here.

We got Tomchei but honestly it is still a struggle. All these Purim collections and no one offered us help even though I said we can use some help.
It all goes to local kollel families. This isn't to bash kollel but every organization or shul seem to give first to kollel and not to the working poor. So the kollel wives have new outfits, jewelry, kids have new matching clothing... even the toddler has Shabbos shoes. My kids don't because "we work".
They even look down on me because my toddler doesn't have shabbos shoes. Why, don't you prioritize Shabbos shoes for a 2 year old!?! One even commented how she wanted to give me her old hand me downs because "I dont care about fashion" and wouldn't mind it is 3 years old. Or why don't I serve XYZ or have 4 course meals or 2 mains or....

Um I cannot afford it!! Would love to but rent comes first. Paying for medication comes first.

How come they are on such a high standard of living that they look down on others?!?

Btw my two year old will be wearing H&M shabbos shoes just saying

amother

Maple

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:55 pm

Very kvetchy post! Can't Believe It

It sounds like my kids when they complain that their siblings got something they didn't get.
And then ppl add that it's really not fair, what's the point???

Op, so sorry you need help. Pesach is a very stressful season.
How about asking if anyone is aware of help you can get before pesach? Which town do you live in?

I dk elsewhere but in lakewood there are a few organizations that specifically help middle class. Afaik Tomchei shabbo is available to everyone that has a hard time paying for their groceries !
I hope you find resources to help you have a peaceful and enjoyable pesach.

amother

Periwinkle

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 11:57 pm

Notshanarishona you are 100% correct in all your posts

The rule in my family is we buy clothes and shoes when we need them, not when you tov falls out.

My dd outgrew her shabbos shoes in middle of the winter, so she got shoes then. My ds just outgrew his pants so he will get new pants now.

My kids do not associate yom tov with new clothing. And that is fine. We have plenty of simchas yom tov without new clothing and we really enjoy the family time.

Ironically, my neighbor in chinuch got gift cards and took her 5 daughters to buy new shoes, dresses, and robes.

My in-laws live on a block with a lot of chinuch families and it's insane how the kids are dressed. Perfect head to toe, from the headband to the ribbed shell to the outfit to the tights/socks to the shoes to the necklace and earrings...all financed by gift cards and tzedaka organizations