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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
amother
OP
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Thu, Mar 28 2024, 1:31 pm
This is not a blame at all,so please don't take it like that. I'm divorced, and don't live in lakewood, but have friends who do, and say they rarely if never get invited. Now ,I know there are wonderful people who always invite , and people, who because of different things in their life, can't invite . But if your able to , please pick up the phone and call a divorcee or single you know and invite for a meal. It make such a difference!
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Light1234
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Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:28 pm
Thank you for posting this. B"h I am invited to tables that are modern Yesivish. But I am not invited to homes that have a more strict hashkafah. I feel alienated by this because my own hashkafah is chassidish. It's very hard for me because I often feel uncomfortable at the more open homes where men and women schmooze. There really are ways Chassidish or machmir crowds can invite singles, treat everyone nicely, and maintain strict tznius. When I lived in Yerushalayim a Chassidishe family had a separate room (small, simple) for the ladies. My cousin didn't have separate rooms, but separate tables set up. Another household had men and women on opposite sides of a long table with designated seats. It is really a small effort. I wish people would try if they were able to. I hope this does not offend anyone. I respect everyones views, I know that there is flexibility in these things, but this is a difficult place for me.
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ectomorph
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Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:37 pm
I don't like the tone of this post, though I agree with the general idea.
My family has gone through periods of inviting or not inviting and it has everything to do with our private challenges that may not be compatible with having guests.
In general, people should invite guests when they can, and not from pressure or guilt.
It might be empowering to make a group meal with friends in the same situation. It might even be more fun!!!
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amother
Snowflake
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Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:57 pm
I was just telling dh that we live in Lakewood and don’t know anyone walking distance to invite unfortunately.
I can’t have non family sleepover guests at this point in my stage but would be happy to have for meals but we don’t know anyone who’s walking distance to invite
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Aurora
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Fri, Mar 29 2024, 1:57 pm
ectomorph wrote: | I don't like the tone of this post, though I agree with the general idea.
My family has gone through periods of inviting or not inviting and it has everything to do with our private challenges that may not be compatible with having guests.
In general, people should invite guests when they can, and not from pressure or guilt.
It might be empowering to make a group meal with friends in the same situation. It might even be more fun!!! |
This. Would love to host more, but we can't really host to community standards
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amother
OP
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Wed, Apr 03 2024, 4:17 pm
ectomorph wrote: | I don't like the tone of this post, though I agree with the general idea.
My family has gone through periods of inviting or not inviting and it has everything to do with our private challenges that may not be compatible with having guests.
In general, people should invite guests when they can, and not from pressure or guilt.
It might be empowering to make a group meal with friends in the same situation. It might even be more fun!!! |
I wrote specifically in my post that this isn't to blame anyone . And if you can't invite because it doesn't work for you, this post wasn't to guilt you. It was simply to raise awareness of people that would be happy to get an invitation from people that are able to have them. That's all.
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amother
Aubergine
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Wed, Apr 03 2024, 4:28 pm
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amother
Mimosa
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Wed, Apr 03 2024, 4:40 pm
Thank you for this.
For those of us that can host!
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