Yichus thread making me feel less than

amother

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:09 pm

Everyone says yichus doesn't count but then all they do is count it.

I'm from a plain Jane family. My mom always said "We make our own yichus" lol

Anyone else feeling this way?

amother

Aster

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:14 pm

Proud BBT (daughter of BTs) here!

I guess it would be nice to be related to some of the impressive personalities on the thread, but as our family grew we married into enough families that we are distantly connected to more and more families that do go way back.

So no, it doesn't bother me much. I figure that give us enough years and my einikel and their einikel will be mechutonim anyhow.

amother

Steel

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:27 pm

Never liked the whole yichus thing, it’s like SO WHAT!!!!! I much prefer the concept of seeing each person for who they are, with their unique personality, quirks and middos, couldn’t care less who their great great grandfather nine times removed is!

amother

Trillium

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:33 pm

I remember in school and seminary the stories about yichus-who was it who asked who the father was, grandfather, etc and every time an answer was a given the Rebbe put up a zero, finally he said you be the 1 that goes in front to make the number huge? Does this ring a bell?

cnc

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:37 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

My yichus makes absolutely no contribution to my life. It means nothing to me.

This.
I'm finding that thread fascinating simply because it's fun to see many relatives on here- not because of the Yichus aspect.

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:40 pm

When the ydden returned from galus with Ezra every family had to bring their yichus book, that meant that they were able to show that they are direct decents from to Avraham Avinu and are indeed Jewish THAT'S yichus. Not who your grandparents were.

( I didn't know that we had yichus, my grandmother mentioned it, but I learned a lot from researching and Geni.com where I found tons of information)

amother

DarkRed

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:43 pm

I love the ones that aren’t “fancy Yichus” like rebbes etc but known community people with large large families so they have many descendants. I also find it fascinating!
(Spoken as someone who married into a family with one of the “most yichus” in the chassidish world and didn’t contribute to the thread cuz who cares)

tigerwife

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:48 pm

I don’t think that was the intention of the thread. People mentioned all sorts of grandparents.
Yichus just means who you come from. It shouldn’t mean greater or better than, etc.
I found it very interesting.

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:53 pm

My husband's grandfather a Rav, told his grandchildren that their DNA gives them more responsibility not more privileges. We know that Moshe and other leaders where judged more for smaller misconduct than others due to their DNA, status & connections to Hashem. Being a poshata Yid is very choshev.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:59 pm

As someone with quite a bit of yichus, I don't think of anyone less than me because the don't have it! I get that it can make people feel that way though, which is why I don't really get to chat about it in real life.
To me it's more like something interesting (kind of like the eclipse).

amother

Snowflake

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:01 am

I know enough people with yichus to know that if you don't live up to it then it doesn't mean anything.
My husband would say, "that and $1.50 will get you on the train. "

amother

Azure

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:15 am

I'm a dd of BTs. No yichus.
I have very choshuv parents.

And I have family who married into yichus- I posted on the yichus thread!!!

amother

Wandflower

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:25 am

The thread was about finding relatives… not outdoing yichus!

I actually started it and only listed simple heads of families.

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:38 am

amother Wandflower wrote:

The thread was about finding relatives… not outdoing yichus!

I actually started it and only listed simple heads of families.

Exactly. I posted a few names of families even if they’re not my families, such a cool thread idea

Tao

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 12:39 am

amother Trillium wrote:

R Yaakov Kaminetsky

amother

Magenta

Thu, Apr 11 2024, 1:14 am

First of all it's very likely you do have "yichus" - you just don't have a record of it. And even then, who says your great great great great grandfather wasn't as great as a big rav anyway? And even then, what does it matter? The links between our neshamos are just as if not more significant than those between relatives (I heard from a rav that we tend to be close to the same group of neshamos in every life) - who we are isn't just our genetics.

My mother was a baalas teshuva. Her grandparents were completely assimilated. When they researched the tree we found we had significant chassidish "yichus" - does it make a difference to me? Yes - I like to think that my job is to repair the chain that was broken by assimilation, and how proud they would be of me - although we're definitely just ordinary now, and not even chassidish LOL

But I don't think about it day to day, and no-one else really knows about it.