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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
I let guests stay in my empty house (what to think??)
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 2:18 am
You can’t have cameras all around your house including bedrooms and have guests without warning them beforehand. You either should have disconnected everything and let them know that you did that or you shouldn’t have guests. I can’t imagine that anyone would agree to be put up in a house that has cameras all over.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 2:47 am
They should have asked permission to disable them, but I completely understand why they would pull the plug out. Very uncomfortable to be guests in such a house!
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amother
Kiwi


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 2:50 am
amother Midnight wrote:
They probably unplugged the main doorbell one as an accident. They realized you left a recording device on in their bedroom and got justifiably creeped out and just unplugged whatever devices they found in the house so they wouldnt feel spied on not realizing they also unplugged the main entrance.

I dont think thats wrong. Throw tomatoes. I think its wrong to keep cameras running and not tell people. Dont host if you dont want to unplug the cameras or forget to tell people. Its such a violation of privacy. What if the couple was intimate and your cameras were running. What if they were getting dressed? Switching out a tampon? Im shocked you left a camera running in their bedroom.


agree completely. I am now freaked out at the thought of sleeping in other peoples homes. a camera in a bedroom that a guest was going to potentially sleep in? what on earth?!
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Comptroller




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 2:56 am
amother OP wrote:
Sorry I edited for clarity. I don’t have this couples numbers. I was dealing with the person who was hosting them for YT. I don’t want to ask her cuz she’s an extremely sensitive person and if she senses anything is off she’ll be overly apologetic and it’s not her fault..


She should be apologetic and she should understand that you feel violated by her guests.

About the cameras: maybe the guests thought that any camera was a problem on shabbat/yom tov.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 4:15 am
amother Moccasin wrote:
You had no right stepping in to a room you weren't supposed to, unless you had permission from the hosts. Unplugging the camera, is just chutzpah.


Who said I wasn’t supposed to step in there? I said I wasn’t staying in the room. Meaning sleeping there.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 4:24 am
If anything the guests should be feeling violated. Does your DH have it connected to his smartphone to view later? Or you? That’s just plain voyeurism. Or pedophilic, if that’s even a word.

Speaking as one that has cameras, we disable them for Shabbos and YT as per the psak we got. Besides for being extremely creeped out, I would assume they unplugged it for YT.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 4:49 am
If this would happen to me I would probably freak out and pull out all the plugs I see. I would not even realize my host is being alerted but I would have the brains to reconnect it at the end.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:04 am
If there was just one camera by the door and maybe one in the kitchen I would leave it in as as it isn’t mine to unplug. However, if I found one in a bedroom and more places around the house I would be sure to unplug any that might possibly see me pass.

Honestly don’t think it’s wrong. The people staying in the apartment were expecting a private lodging, not a house that you can spy on them from your phone.
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:08 am
OP, can I ask you an honest question, why do you have cameras in your home? I understand having one at your door or around the outside of your property but I'm trying to understand why someone would have cameras inside their home
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amother
Junglegreen


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:25 am
amother Darkblue wrote:
OP, can I ask you an honest question, why do you have cameras in your home? I understand having one at your door or around the outside of your property but I'm trying to understand why someone would have cameras inside their home


I see people don’t get it but this is very common-

We have a doorbell one, a backyard one, a basement one (to watch the kids playing), and we add one to any room with a baby or young child I want to monitor.

I can totally see myself forgetting to unplug it and would be happy they realized to unplug the kids room or even the basement but would also be annoyed if they unplugged the front door.

And to those that accused her of being creeps- usually the internal cameras don’t activated record- u can just view in the moment, most ppl only have chips/ memory in the outside ones for safety and fear of packages being stolen.
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amother
Clear


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:43 am
I feel for you, OP. Whenever someone comes to my home, I let them know that we have cameras all over. Why? Because this is our home and its our right to put up cameras if we want them. My home is actually my business address too. A deranged client of mine started stalking me and leaving threatening messages that she was going to come to my home... it scared me very much so now we have cameras EVERYWHERE. I have them in the trees coming down our block. Why? Because I own those trees so if I want to see all angles of my property, I can. I don't have cameras in bathrooms or bedrooms but if I had little kids, I might have put them up too. You never know what the help is doing. Repairman. Nanny. Sibling to sibling. Life is dangerous. Making my home as safe as possible is a priority. And no, no one has my address anymore for business either. We hosted guests over pesach in our basement. Cameras were off down there but they knew that the others were on. I don't think I would allow anyone to stay if I wasn't here but col kahavod for having tried it. I would feel extremely violated if a guest went into a room they weren't permitted in and unplugged a camera, let alone disabled my entire system. I just would be more careful in who you allow into your home. If they are staying, understand these rooms are off limits and the cameras stay on (except bedrooms). If that's a problem, don't stay. Simple policy. Honestly, cameras come in teddy bears, outlets, pens... so you never know anyway.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:49 am
If you had a camera on in the bedroom they were using, you were totally wrong. They maybe should have only unplugged that one, or the ones inside the house. Maybe they didn't realize exactly what each camera could see, so they unplugged all of them. And they might be a problem on Shabbos.
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 7:59 am
amother Midnight wrote:
What if the couple was intimate and your cameras were running. What if they were getting dressed? Switching out a tampon? Im shocked you left a camera running in their bedroom.

Side note - why would anyone change a tampon anywhere but a bathroom?
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amother
Buttercup


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 8:14 am
amother Chocolate wrote:
Many people don’t want to walk past cameras on shabbos because it activates motion detection. It’s a more machmir way. A ring doorbell is a real problem although many poskim allow it.
Also, it could be that they needed outlets to charge their phones etc.
I would be horrified if I found a camera in a bedroom when staying in someone’s house.


Me too, and I know it's controversial, but I'm a little creeped out by people doing it to their kids too. Kids should be able to get dressed in their room and not be recorded.
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 8:17 am
amother OP wrote:
I agree I could have pulled the plug In the children bedroom that they were using.. but to disarm the ring doorbell is taking it too far in my opinion. Door bell cameras are completely standard where I live I believe every single home on the block has one. There really isn’t a need for a disclaimer… and there rest of the home doesn’t have cameras I don’t have them anywhere on the main floor just the other kids room which as I mentioned they disabled too …

Owning it doesn’t mean they leave them on. It’s pretty standard in many communities that doorbell and other cameras are turned off for Shabbos and YT. Depending on how close they came to YT and how much time or access they had to ask a shaila I could see them feeling like they had no other option.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 8:20 am
amother Buttercup wrote:
Me too, and I know it's controversial, but I'm a little creeped out by people doing it to their kids too. Kids should be able to get dressed in their room and not be recorded.


Maybe it was a baby camera?

The only two cameras I have are a ring bell and baby camera. The ring is super helpful for when I’m away. And the baby camera needs no explaining.

The guest probably freaked out and unplugged the main camera which turned every camera off. I would also honestly.
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amother
Midnight


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 9:34 am
amother Blonde wrote:
Side note - why would anyone change a tampon anywhere but a bathroom?


Ive had to change a pad or tampon in a bedroom before when the bathroom was occupied. Im not understanding the big deal. If im getting dressed and changing my underwear, I also change my pad/tampon.
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SYA




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 9:50 am
I think what’s bothering OP the most is, that they were given a guest room and one kids bedroom to use. It’s one thing to disable those rooms.
It’s another level to go into other bedrooms like the master bedroom which was clearly not meant for them and they were not supposed to access. They went into rooms they were not allowed to use and turned off those cameras too. What did they do in Ops bedroom that they had to close the camera there, when that room was clearly off limits? Did they sleep on her bed, open her dresser and go through her belongings, use her private en-suite bathroom…?
That’s a real invasion of privacy.


That is why the two times since my marriage I went out of town for an extended period of time I did not rent or allow others to stay in my home. You can lock your bedroom and let them know clearly they are not allowed to open the door. Yet I’ll read on this site how people have picked the lock and gone into a master bedroom.
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 10:02 am
Why are people acting like having cameras in your home is a crime.
We have cameras everywhere aside for bathrooms.
1) security
2) I can check on kids, babysitters, cleaning ladies if needed
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amother
Buttercup


 

Post Wed, May 01 2024, 10:08 am
amother Poinsettia wrote:
Why are people acting like having cameras in your home is a crime.
We have cameras everywhere aside for bathrooms.
1) security
2) I can check on kids, babysitters, cleaning ladies if needed


It's not a crime. It's just wrong. You may have your reasons for it, but it means your kids are being denied a reasonable amount of privacy, and if you have guests, it's super creepy to be recording them.
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