Attachment or anxiety

amother

PlumPink

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:12 pm

What’s school like? How warm is it? Is she doing well academically and socially? At this age most of these issues are caused by their school day. They either need help and are struggling or are being treated unwell. I’ve seen this play out and when the issue is dealt with the kid is night and day.

amother

Fri, May 03 2024, 12:53 pm

Ok. I will explain more.

Child- "Mommy, I don't know what to eat"

Me-"do you want tuna"

Her-"no"

Me-do you want potatoes, eggs, sandwich, yogurt"

Her"no"

Me "you think of something and let me see if e have it or I can make it"

Her "no. You need to. I don't know what he have"

This back and forth happens at least once if not twice or three times every day. She pulls me in. I know she has attachment issues because she is very needy, complains I don't spend enough time with her even when I do. She needs to know when I will or won't spend time with her otherwise she pesters me to no end. She loves school but after yom Tov didn't want to to go back because she will miss me. She is one of two children. So it's not that she didn't t get time with me. She wants me to stay with her in her room till she falls asleep because she is scared. She gets scared a lot but mostly she's scared and wants me, with makes me think that maybe she just wants me. She wants me to change her pullup for her, stay with her when she gets dressed, take out her underwear for her from the basket, put on her socks etc.. She complains I didn't play with her on shabbos after she was out all day playing. She wants me to do crafts with her all the time even on Friday and also doesn't help a lot. Basically there's an unhealthy dynamic going on and I am not sure how to change it. Maybe attachment is not the right word. Maybe it's attention, connection etc. In the wrong ways.