22 yr old son increasingly odd behaviors

amother

Cyclamen

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:22 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, exactly this. We live in the Midwest, but would travel to east coast. Perhaps a good doc would be willing to do teleheath visits as well. He is also going back to Israel for the upcoming zman, so perhaps someone there..?

Please don't send him back! Not until he's seen Dr, neurologist, therapist, etc, full medical evaluation and he has the go ahead from the doctors.
Please also speak to the RY, Maggid Shiur, and Mashgiach of the Yeshiva he attends and ask them what the reality is.
The last thing you want is him going back and his symptoms worsening and then coming home in worse condition. I have a friend who's child was sent home and it's a much longer journey that way.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:47 am

dankbar wrote:

Maybe something happened to him when he was in Israel? Like being abused? Could it be the tension of war going on there? Maybe he witnessed one of the horrors? Or was anxious about his safety in general?

I would really doubt he was abused. He is 22; he is not some pliant 9-year-old in the hands of a sinister adult. It could be anxiety over the situation and such.

amother

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:51 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

He's in one of the Brisk-type yeshivos. Shiurim are large and the maggid shiur has no connection to the boys, let alone the RY. The only people who would have any personal connection would be the boys with whom he shares a dirah and chavrusahs. Even if I would get their numbers and call them surreptitiously without my son knowing, what exactly would I be asking them? We've just spent a few weeks together, I see what I saw.

amother

Blush

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:15 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

What’s your medical degree? Yes they are root causes. Brain inflammation is not the answer to everything and anyone who thinks so is just not educated enough. Humans are complex with many things that are root causes. Including abnormalities, diseases, tumors, growths, and mental disorders. It’s ignorance to think it’s so simple to just say brain inflammation. Especially in the case of an adult where it can be something very serious that needs to be ruled out.

OP isn't asking for medical advice, she's crowdsourcing on the internet.

I wish neurologists would take these things seriously and do a full medical workup including imaging, but I don't think that's the reality.

Tumors, growths, organic brain diseases and other structural brain abnormalities are indeed root causes, but no neurologist is looking for that with mild tics. These causes are also much much rarer than brain inflammation. Chances are a neurologist will slap tourettes on him, which is really a wastebasket diagnosis. If it's free it can't hurt to try and rule out anything life threatening, but likely won't get you very far.

Psych diagnoses are real, but they aren't root causes.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:25 pm

amother Blush wrote:

Can you just stop? I’ve been to neurologists they happily do full exams and do not slap diagnosis without it. Why are you so anti neurologists? Seriously this is ridiculous. It hurts to push it off if it’s a real issue. Brain inflammation is not an answer or protocol it’s a never ending tunnel of stress and making yourself crazy while never finding any solutions.

oneofakind

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:32 pm

Does he have insight into his behavior? Sounds like OCD. I'd take him to a psychiatrist for a definitive diagnosis. You don't have to jump to medication if it isn't extreme or a serious illness but you have to know what it is in order to make an informed decision. Please don't send him back until you know.

amother

Mintcream

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:39 pm

Call DR Ezra Cowan's clinic 6469656126 he works in-person and via zoom
He deals with OCD, Anxiety, Tourette, tics etc.
He will evaluate and let you know if it's something more.
He tries to avoid medicating but not against it if needed.

Highly recommend!

WhatFor

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wasn't happy but wasn't miserable.

OP, you're linking these behaviors to having gone away for a year. You said he wasn't happy. I agree with those saying don't send him back without getting to the bottom of this, but either way, why send him back somewhere where he's not happy to the point that it seems to be triggering unhealthy stress reactions?

Did you have a talk with him about what's going on? Does he even want to go back?

amother

Cyclamen

Sun, May 05 2024, 12:46 pm

amother OP wrote:

So if someone was checking him out for a Shidduch there would be literally noone in the Yeshiva that knows him? That's almost tragic. A bochur that age needs connections. We have checked out bochurim at some large yeshivas and most had Magidei Shiur who knew them pretty well even at the Mir.
Will he cooperate with a psychologist? Because then he himself may be the best source of information.