Lazy parenting | Imamother

honey36

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:23 am

I let my kids have a small allotted amount of screen time once a week and it has nothing to do with laziness.

Our school had individual meetings with the parents to talk about technology/internet/filters etc. The rebbe we met with actually encouraged us to give our kids a bit of clean, appropriate screen time so that they don't feel they are missing out and will go looking for it behind our backs.

amother

Magnolia

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:24 am

I agree that pacifiers can be really soothing to babies. But sometimes I see parents try to push and train their baby into taking a pacifier, even if the baby isn’t interested. Isn’t that considered wanting it for the parent rather than the baby?

amother

Strawberry

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:30 am

Im very confident that im not a lazy parent. You are welcome to any opinion you want.

I work extremely full time, have a house full of very young children, a wonderful husband with no clue how to deal with children, no extra money for help, and do what I need to do in order to stay afloat. You call that lazy. I call that survival.

My kids are fed, bathed, dressed appropriately for the weather, loved, educated, properly supervised, and are overall happy healthy well adjusted children. Even with their pacifiers and occasional screens.

amother

Oak

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:36 am

amother OP wrote:

I believe that pacifiers and screens both have similar jobs. They are both excuses for parenting.

Baby crying? Plug baby's mouth with a pacifier. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

Kids whining? Sit them in front of a screen. Ahhh. Quiet. Bliss.

And I'm ready for any tomatoes. But I think deep down, you know the truth. Pacifiers and screens are excuses for parenting.

I'm sure this is sarcasm.
My turn. Chairs and couches are for lazy people. What is wrong with people who need to sit? Hashem gave us legs for a reason- use them and stand straight. Why would you want to be lazy or infirm?
Deep down you all know the truth.

amother

Lilac

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:39 am

amother Magnolia wrote:

It's beneficial for baby & parent. There's nothing wrong with a parent wanting it for themselves & their sanity. One of my babies refused a pacifier. She cried round the clock, it's still in my ears 12 years later. It was traumatic. At 15 months old, I found her with her sister's pacifier in her mouth & that was it, she started taking a paci! There was finally quiet. She used a paci for afew months & then gave it up.

Lemonade 2323

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:50 am

watergirl wrote:

I had kids before my older sister. She said the same thing about most things I did with my kids. The baby swing? She called it the neglecto-chair. She swore how she'd never do the things I did. And then she did all of them. Loved that.

Lol reminds me of the saying 'I was a great Mom. Then I had kids!'

We all know the theory!

amother

Scarlet

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:50 am

Lazy adulting: posting a random controversial statement on imamother instead of finding something real to do.

Suggestion- feel free to come over and wash my dishes instead!

Signed, the laziest parent ever and proud LOL

Lemonade 2323

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:50 am

watergirl wrote:

Back seat parenting!

amother

Clear

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:53 am

I think both pacifiers and screens are neutral and it’s how you use that makes it ok or not.

A pacifier is essentially a comfort item if the child likes it and I think comfort items are great!
None of my kids magically didnt need care & attention when given a pacifier.

Screens are a touchier topic.
There’s definitely cases were they are more problematic than beneficial.
However when you see a person out in the wild and they child has a screen please don’t judge- you don’t know what the other 6 days of the week looked like and what the other 23 hours of the day was.

amother

Brown

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:55 am

amother OP wrote:

Yea, op! I'm glad someone.finally gets it. And while we're at it, taking your kids to the park to play instead of entertaining them yourself is lazy parenting. Not making every single food from scratch is lazy parenting. Not sewing your kids clothes yourself is lazy parenting. Using a stroller is lazy parenting. Using disposable diapers is lazy parenting. Using disposable anything is lazy parenting. Playing pre-recorded music for your kids is lazy parenting- why are you not singing and playing your own music? So lazy. What else did I miss?

amother

Brown

Fri, May 10 2024, 10:57 am

Also, being on imamother is LAZY PARENTING. Surely all of you could be doing something to better your children instead of being lazy and posting on pointless threads here.

pause

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:03 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

Let's add sending kids to school, totally lazy, everyone should homeschool!

After all the school threads, I agree with you!!!

BaltoMom65

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

Isn't preschool lazy? Or being on the internet?

amother

Cinnamon

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:11 pm

I have older teens so I think I’m qualified to say what worked and turned my kids into the amazing teens they are. Don’t get too stuck on principles. Love your children. Your relationship with them is priority. Everything else is secondary. My older ones didn’t have pacifiers, they had their thumbs. Lazy mother that I am I let them suck it til around 4. Re screens, I don’t think they’re great. BUT my husband is super chilled about them. And it bothers me. But you know what? My kids turned into truly awesome teens. Each one is a quality wonderful person and our relationships with them are wonderful. It’s because I focused on our relationships and didn’t get stuck on the other stuff. Work on being more patient and chilled out and don’t get too focused on all your shitos.

amother

Broom

Fri, May 10 2024, 2:36 pm

In all honesty op has a point. She is talking about toddlers. Plugging in the paci when the kid is crying replaces hugging, kissing, soothing words and the smile after that. It stunts emotional growth.