S/o food restrictions

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:18 am

Do you have rules about taking food/drinks where it's not a health issue but a budgeting or logistical issue? Like for instance, you have a child that would eat a whole container of blueberries in one sitting and you need them to not do that because a) it's not fair to the rest of the family who might also want blueberries, b) blueberries are expensive, we're not going to buy 10 containers just so everyone can have as much as they want. So is putting rules on how much yogurt or berries or whatever other thing that can run out quickly if you're not paying attention controlling or too restrictive? How do you handle this type of situation? What rules, if any, do you have in place?

amother

Daffodil

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:21 am

I have very few food restrictions in my home.
When I buy something like that sometimes I right away divide it amongst the kids and they keep their container in the fridge and can take from theirs whenever they want.
Or I tell them that this is something mommy hands out.
It’s ok to have something special that even older kids don’t take wantonly.
Especially if it’s not often then they’ll take it seriously.

Beautiful

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:24 am

Such a good question it's something I deal with as well. I got really good advice from a friend. Look at the package and show the child what the serving size is. That removes the fight between you and DC. We see what the serving size is and go by that. Too much more (or less) is not healthy for the body.

mummiedearest

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:24 am

Sure. One kid has food intolerances, so there are bins in the pantry with food just for that kid. If the other kids want it, they have to ask. I have other food intolerances, and the kids know to ask before eating certain things in the fridge. My big kids will buy themselves treats and label them in the fridge/pantry. Some times they bake something for Shabbos and don’t want it eaten before then. I may buy certain foods for school lunch only or a certain number of items per person. I don’t limit fruit, I’d rather they eat their fill of that.

Tzutzie

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:29 am

It never really happened. But my oldest is a preteen.
I don't know I buy enough for everyone. And if there isn't enough I just get more. I don't really scrimp on healthy foods.
But I'll buy a large container or yogurt where it's let's say $1 for 5 oz. Vs $1.49 if it's individually packed cups.
My kids will take a second cup if they are hungry so ill just buy large and theyll take whatever they need.
I'll be smart about it but won't restrict.

Yes I do restrict excess junk food randomly during the week. But won't snacks or cookies. But junky junk is for shabbos or special occasions. I'm even loosening up on that as my kids get older. (My kid get to buy a treat when she makes a grocery order. I dont monitor her choices then. But I have a max $$ on that.
I don't like the control aspect of restricting anything unless absolutely a must.
And I'm hoping they'll have decent self control and make appropriate choices.

amother

RosePink

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:32 am

amother OP wrote:

I think these are reasonable restrictions and I have similar. In general, as long as restricting’s not a fight I think it’s ok. If something becomes a “thing”, that’s when I stop buying it or make some other changes.

amother

Begonia

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:37 am

I have a general moderation rule. You can’t eat the entire thing of anything that is not a single portion. It will either make you sick or not allow others to have. My kids know all things have to be split with everyone. So if they want more of something they will check to see who else wants from it.

I also have a protein and veggies first rule. Fill up on carbs after. Not that they need to eat a certain amount because each kid has different tolerances but they need to eat from it first.

I also don’t allow endless sugars. I tried it and they did not know how to self moderate. So they know the allowance and can choose what they want from what’s available.

I didn’t teach them to ask before eating but they all check with me anyway. Sometimes I’ll say I’m about to serve supper so save it for after.

They can take water, seltzer and ice whenever they want. That’s the only drinks available during the week.

My kids are happy well adjusted kids.

amother

Holly

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:42 am

Of course. It's important to learn consideration for other family members, and to understand that expensive food is not something to eat mindlessly. There is plenty of food that they can have anytime without thinking about it, but not all food falls into that category.

amother

White

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:45 am

amother Begonia wrote:

I have a general moderation rule. You can’t eat the entire thing of anything that is not a single portion. It will either make you sick or not allow others to have. My kids know all things have to be split with everyone. So if they want more of something they will check to see who else wants from it.

I also have a protein and veggies first rule. Fill up on carbs after. Not they need to eat a certain amount because each kid has different tolerances but they need to eat from it first.

I also don’t allow endless sugars. I tried it and they did not know how to self moderate. So they know the allowance and can choose what they want from what’s available.

I didn’t teach them to ask before eating but they all check with me anyway. Sometimes I’ll say I’m about to serve supper so save it for after.

They can take water, seltzer and ice whenever they want. That’s the only drinks available during the week.

My kids are happy well adjusted kids.

Can you share what your sugar allowance is?

amother

Begonia

Sun, May 12 2024, 11:49 am

amother White wrote:

Can you share what your sugar allowance is?

I go by the day. It’s one candy a day. 3 nosh a day that are cookies/ chips/ ice cream etc.. they usually save the candy for things the school gives as a treat. Once in a while there is a party or something. So they tell me they made an exception and had more. But they also choose the lesser junky ones. We have a lot of open communication about how to choose. And they know I’m ok with exceptions when something special is going on.

Tzutzie

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:06 pm

I don't buy too much junk/ candy. That helps.
We do have a lot of semisweet chocolate though. I'm not such a fan of chocolate but my kids absolutely love it. A small handful of chocolate chips are their favorite!
It def is less damaging for the teeth than a lollipop or taffy.
I give those out freely. Probably a few times a week. Whenever a kid asks the rest come running. 😆
But candy taffy is for special treat and shabbos/rosh chodesh it any other special day.
And randomly on a weekday.

My kids take 2 snacks to school. Usually homemade cookies and a chips. Sometimes some dried fruit (the no sugar added ones. They are so yummy!) Too. Or a pc of chocolate.

The come home and have another snack. Sometimes fruit sometimes cake.
Then supper and dessert is usually some form of fruit. Cooked/ baked/ blended/ salad.... or plain cut up.
In the summer they'll have ices too

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:24 pm

I think a rule of reason.

I wouldn't restrict normal fruit (for example) because the reality is that in general you just can't wipe out a normal supply of fruit - unless the person has a serious eating disorder - no one eats 4 peaches or apples typically.

Blueberries (sticking to fruit as an example) are the type of fruit that is generally purchased for a specific purpose. It is often added as part of a fruit salad for example. Or a smaller quantity is mixed into yoghurt and of course it makes delicious muffins, pancakes and streusel cake. So I would have no qualms about making that off limits as a "snack" and just setting it aside in the same way that people often purchase a whole cake because it is meant to be brought out whole and not for snacks.

I might put certain cheeses in the same category. Some cheeses are meant to be normal snacks like string cheeses and some cheese are bought to be part of a specific meal or gathering. I sometimes make a baked brie appetizer and so I would't want someone cutting a slice from the Brie. Surprised

erm

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:29 pm

The only restriction I have is candy/junk food and soda. Although I tell them not to eat snack if they hadn’t eaten breakfast /dinner yet. It is a given that you don’t take the whole thing of a special item.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:31 pm

Beautiful wrote:

Serving sizes are arbitrary. Who says your dcs body needs the same as yours?

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:32 pm

erm wrote:

Don't you ever buy food that is meant for specific purposes?

Also the "given" that you mention is what OP is asking about since you need to *teach* children what is appropriate behavior.

And some people are incorrigible - I still remember my mother being so angry because my uncle (an adult) had gone into the kitchen and eaten most of the skin from the fried chicken she had made for dinner.

amother

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:39 pm

We eat blueberries straight up. It's definitely the easiest fruit to mindlessly eat and they go FAST. Strawberries too, and there it's not just money, but effort since they have to be checked too (and once I'm checking, it makes sense to slice them at that point, so by the time they're accessible to my kids, they've been checked and prepped already). I'm not even really talking about junk food, I mean normal foods that I don't want to restrict but it can't be unlimited because it can go quickly and I can only go to the store so many times/spend so much money on whatever item. The other thread makes it sound like if you don't let your kids take what they want when they want, they'll develop some sort of complex.

amother

NeonGreen

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:39 pm

You would be surprised what teenagers can eat. My weekly shopping of 15 large crunchy apples can easily be devoured within 24 hours. A package of blueberries, a case of instant soups, endless bags of snacks. Even dinner- salmon, Chinese chicken, hamburgers. Dessert. Cholent. Pizza. Fries. Candy. Everything in my kitchen I need to put restrictions on. It is so annoying and frustrating that I hide the candy, and make the teenagers serve portions of food to the entire family so that they learn again and again that there needs to be enough for everyone.

They never needed limits until they learned at overnight camp that first come first serve gets them the best.

patzer

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:41 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

....wuh?