Father bathing girls

amother

Cognac

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:34 pm

dont think its weird at all
dh baths DC but shes 3. my least favorite chore bc he makes a huge bubble bath and she splashes everywhere. she loves bathtime with dh (not in the bath tub together ofc). my husband sings with her and theyre both always laughing

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:37 pm

DH helps my 8 year old dd.

And throw tomatoes all you want, but sometimes she still asks for help wiping after the bathroom also. And whoever is available goes to help her.

Now, playing completely naked is totally bizarre. But, that's something else completely.

amother

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

The only thing thats awkward is that she said he loves to bathe her.

My husband doesnt like extra chores but will do it if I need help.

That's what's making me uncomfortable. They're not teaching their girls to bathe themselves, because father loves to do it. He doesn't help them when needed. He officially gives them their full bath every day.

amother

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:40 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

He doesn't help her. He fully bathes her every day. She doesn't do anything herself.

gibberish

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:49 pm

It sounds like there are some additional challenges there. A mother shouldn't be fully bathing kids at that age either, unless there some sort of special needs. Typically, some sort of body privacy is instilled prior to that age. You can try a casual conversation discussing normal body autonomy in children, but don't think anything good will come from you meddling though.

amother

Glitter

Sun, May 19 2024, 10:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Then that's inappropriate. It would be inappropriate with a mother too. Kids are supposed to be taught to bathe themselves as soon as they're at a stage where they're capable of it. It depends on the kid, but it should be done to the best of the kid's ability. IMO it's still normal at that age for kids to call their parent for help with shampoo or something like that, but they shouldn't need full bathing.

amother

Winterberry

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

I think what made me uncomfortable is that they see no reason to teach their girls how to bathe themselves because the father "loves" to bathe them, he sits & plays with them & makes bath time in to daddy daughter time.
They also don't instill modesty & privacy in their kids, the kids can walk around totally naked in the house & even eat dinner like that. The parents don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's a bit concerning. Especially for an 8 year old. She can eat & play totally naked for hours.

This is weird.

A mother fully bathing a regular 8 year old is also weird, but not quite as disturbing. My 5 year old can shower pretty independently but sometimes wants me to check his hair. I have never bathed an 8 year old, boy or girl.

These children need to be taught independence and basic self-respecting modesty.

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:05 pm

Maybe you misunderstood or maybe she’s covering up her kid’s inability to bathe by saying he loves it. Like I said my kids needs help and I wouldn’t tell anyone that because you don’t have to know. I can see myself saying he loves to do it too.

amother

Alyssum

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:08 pm

People here bathe their kids till a very late age! My parents bathed me fully until 5. 5-6 was supervised to make sure I’m washing myself properly. Then after that I was fully entrusted with bathing myself

dena613

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:08 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

Somehow I see women bathing boys less problematic than a man bathing a girl. I used to always go help my sister after school and I bathed my nephews till prob 6-7 yrs old and was totally fine. I don’t know if I would let my my daughter be bathed by her uncles ever. And her father probably till 2. I’m just not comfortable with the idea not that there’s anything specifically wrong.

Eta I didn’t Vote because there’s no 2 option.

I couldn't vote2 so I voted3

amother

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:08 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

I did not misunderstand. The kid is a healthy child capable of bathing themselves. (She goes on errands by herself, babysits... so I'm pretty confident that she can bathe herself.)
And it's always the father bathing them, never mom. I think that it's strange.

amother

Daisy

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don’t think the father part is weird at all. I find bathing kids annoying but my husband finds it fun, so he does bath time every time.

Why are you insinuating that the father is creepy for loving bath time? Do you have reason to think he’s a pedophile? Because on its own, it just means he’s a sweet father and husband.

The playing naked part is really unique though. You should have started the thread with that example. I agree it’s weird.

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

An 8 year old babysits?

amother

Yolk

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:15 pm

Why do we push for such young bathing? So many of these kids stink and don’t look washed. I don’t think a 5/6 year old can actually fully bathe alone without you checking that they did it properly. It seems like a weird hang up so many have.

amother

Sun, May 19 2024, 11:18 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

I do think that it's creepy for a father to love bathing his girls to a degree of not wanting to teach them how to bathe themselves & only father bathing them, never mom.
I don't want to think that he's a pedophile, but we don't allow our kids at their home unattended.