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Forum
-> Working Women
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amother
OP
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 Thu, May 23 2024, 1:37 pm
I work remotely office is an hour away.
MY boss is Jewish but not frum not sure who they will be sitting Shiva.
He should be getting up on Shabbos. I had a hectic week and didn't call him just on the day of the funeral.
Is it really bad I didn't go see him? Plus today is his birthday also.
Is it ok if I just call him to see how he is doing and wish him a happy birthday?
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zaq
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Thu, May 23 2024, 1:49 pm
Wishing him a happy birthday when his father just died a few days ago would be inappropriate. It's also not a good idea to make a condolence phone call the day of the funeral. There is no "nichum avelim" until after the burial; until then, the person is not an avel but an onen and cannot be comforted. In fact, some people avoid making condolence calls or visits for a few days after the funeral, but that's not necessary. So you did nothing wrong and everything right by not calling the day of.
You're under no obligation to make a shiva visit, especially since you don't know if he's observing a full shiva. A condolence phone call today would be just the ticket: not too soon, not too late.
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amother
DarkOrange
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Thu, May 23 2024, 3:49 pm
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You should go. Ask him when he is sitting shiva and when you can visit. You need to play the game and also simply be a kind human being.
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amother
Black
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Thu, May 23 2024, 3:56 pm
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Try your best to go. If really not possible call him today.
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amother
OP
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Thu, May 23 2024, 4:29 pm
I just cant see it being possible to go.
I miscalculated he is getting up Sunday morning.
His father past away on Friday but the funeral was on Monday.
He text me on Friday and I told him that I will call him on Sunday thinking that they had the funeral but I was wrong.
Should I call and just tell him that it was not possible for me to pay a Shiva call but want to see how he is and will come in to the office when he gets back, also they might officially be sitting only 3 days like some do.
I do feel guilty but it was a very crazy week. The only day I was free was Monday and maybe Tuesday. I thought that maybe some clients (all frum)would of wanted to pay a Shiva call and we would all go together but it didn't happen.
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