inviting guest over for shabbos. what They should bring???

florida1

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:44 am

hi
when I invite guest over for shabbos sometimes they ask what they should bring. like dessert or wine as they suggest.
sometimes I would love for them to bring something . a dessert can be very helpful. I feel its impolite to say yea dessert sounds wonderful !
esp this shabbos where I am having a lot of pple and dessert is one less thing to worry about
though im wishing I could

what do you do in situations like these??
and sometimes they really press the issuse . saying are you sure? is there anything I can do ? etc

willow

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:48 am

I am just like you I hate to have ppl do things for me. Yet my advice would be TAKE THE HELP.

ElTam

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:58 am

It depends on who it is. If it is friends we have regularly, I usually say to bring dessert. If we are inviting people we don't know well or don't eat with regularly, I tell them they don't need to bring anything.

florida1

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 9:01 am

well this time its this lady I met we go to a mommy and me together and she is really sweet. but I like what the pp said. this time since its the first time illl say its really okay im all set
.but if she eats over again I wont decline the offer

RedVines

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 9:05 am

Here Everyone brings something plus they send you a thank you note a few days later...my problem is most are completlty not religious/kosher etc. Before it would be uncomfortable, I.e flowers, non-kosher wine...soooo now If I am comfortable I will tell them ahead of time what we do/dont can /cant do...so they will bring a potted plant, kosher wine, or bring over something ahead of time...which is the best.

technic

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 1:51 pm

mommyoftwo am I missing sthing here? why is it a problem 2 b gven flowers (and not a pot plant?)

Motek

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 2:10 pm

We once had a guest bring us a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, on Shabbos. Um, what should I do with it? Can't put water in the vase ... I just put the flowers in the vase, no water Confused

hoped he didn't realize.

technic

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 4:23 pm

mommy I just reread ur post and realised u meant ON SHABBAT itself (which is why a pot plant is better!)

Tefila

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 5:04 pm

Quote:

We once had a guest bring us a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, on Shabbos.

Yep thats happend more then once to me too Confused

So knowing guests will bring I just ask them to bring whatever they choose b/4 the shabbos. That has helped! sounds schnoredik but it's inevitable where we r they always do bring something Confused

realeez

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 5:12 pm

I always take the help - you are doing them more of a favour by letting them make something. when people refuse help then I have to figure out a time to go buy something - it is so much easier to let me bring a dessert or side dish.

someone once bought me flowers for yom tov and I put it in a vase but forgot to put in water and only realized on yom tov -whoops! they were ok and luckily the bottom half of the vase is frosted so it wasn't too obvious!

happymom

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 5:37 pm

Quote:

what do you do in situations like these??
and sometimes they really press the issuse . saying are you sure? is there anything I can do ? etc

If they say that why not take the opportunity to say " okay well if you really want to help a dessert would be great! Theres nothing wrong with that, especially because they offered...

imaamy

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:22 pm

I am assuming you all live where there is an eruv? Here it would not always be possible to bring something on Shabbat.

RedVines

Thu, Dec 15 2005, 8:47 pm

Not really, here the people arent frum meaning they are driving over...