I’m your child’s therapist and deserve some recognition

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 5:55 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

As a former therapist, I totally get you. I used to say the same. My theory was that it's thoughtlessness. It's a given that teachers get recognition Chanukah and Purim time, but we therapists get overlooked. They forget about us, or just don't realize. I always felt that the agencies should remind the parents to show appreciation.

I forget my kids Morah’s and rebbis too, don’t think therapists aren’t the only ones who get forgotten.

shaynala

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:43 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

Wow. Kinda shocked at the judgement and generalizations here.

I work as an admin in a special ed school. I can tell you with certainty there are many things going on in a family that might explain why they didn’t show the appreciation you want during Chanukah. No need to make sweeping generalizations about people like this.

I'm a therapist and I totally don't think parents need to feel they need to give extra. Parents are already paying so much for the therapy/special services/extra help in the house etc. and many of the are very overwhelmed with day to day life.
I do have to say that I was touched when I received a cookbook and a handwritten card from a mother for Chanuka. And another girl brought me some treats and a handwritten card from her mother. I was especially touched with this card as the last time I met the mother in person she was a bit stand offish. And in the card she was so open and effusive, I am just so touched by her appreciation for the work we're doing with her child.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:55 pm

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

High school teachers do not get any tips, gifts, or expressions of appreciation. Just saying.

Yes! I'm not a high school teacher but every year, I feel so bad that we're not giving anything to them.
I have 2 daughters in high school , they have 18 teachers each... theres not much I could give to each of them that would be appreciated. Even a card would be hard to write!
Btw most of those teacher see my child much more often than a therapist would.
I understand the OP but I do believe that the expectation of a tip comes from a misunderstanding of how a large family function. The therapists for the most part are not at the same stage of life as the families they are servicing. I might be wrong.

amother

Aqua

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:00 pm

I am a parent of a child with mild special needs who receives many therapies both in and out of school. In all honesty, we would love to tip all of you, but that is not really feasible. We struggle to pay for all the therapy on our high deductible plan (about $10,000 a year), in addition to paying for a shadow and tuition. I have another 2 children who receive some form of therapy as well. I do hope your salary is enough renumeration for your job and my verbal thank you is enough. Please put yourself in my shoes for a moment. (PS I probably earn a lot less than you and do not get tipped either)

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:04 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

It’s not just large families. Any child who is receiving services has some sort of extra need, even if it isn’t being classified as special needs. Those extra needs are extremely taxing on the family, even if there’s one kid or two kids or three kids.
In terms of therapists being at the same stage, some are, some aren’t.

amother

Maroon

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:07 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

I cannot imagine what it would be like for parents of high school students to write thank you cards for each one of their children's dozen or so teachers. LOL

Some students are really sweet and write appreciative notes on their final test or even on random assignments throughout the year. It means so much more coming from the students themselves! I just wish they wrote it on something I could keep instead of the test that I return to them after marking...

For Chanukah, I had my DC write a thank you note and choose some chocolate for her therapist. She wrote the most adorable note, which I'm sure means more to a good therapist than a mother's more formal words.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:57 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

If we spend so little time with the child, then why do parents think it is ok to have phone conversations with me that are 20+ minutes? Most parents would not dare call/ text the teachers as often as they call/text me (because they don't want to disturb the teachers who are soooo busy). I have 25 students, and I spend hours and hours on the phone talking with parents (usually it is just listening to the parents vent about the teachers, school system etc etc). I literally have had evenings where I could not get any housework done because I was on the phone with parents

We have 20 minute conversations with you because otherwise your one hour a week with my kid will be a waste of time. The teachers see my child all day, they get a feel for her and what her weaknesses are. You don't. By the time you've figured out what she's progressed in this week, your time is over.

I'm sorry, you're right, it's much more prep time. But that's the nature of what you go through.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:01 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Agreed. I don't understand parents are expected to tip teachers, and multiple times per year at that.

How quickly we all forget what torture it was to have the kids all home and on zoom all day, every day! I think we should tip our teachers daily!!

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:03 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

Either you've never had good therapists or you just dont value them. It's really a shame either way. I'm not here to toot my horn but I'm dedicated and skilled enough to make those 30x2 sessions very meaningful, and the guidance that I provide to both parents and teachers has been life changing for many of my students. I'm not exaggerating. But I can see how a parent who doesn't value my work would miss those opportunities.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:04 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

How quickly we all forget what torture it was to have the kids all home and on zoom all day, every day! I think we should tip our teachers daily!!

.
Aren't they paid for every day of work?

amother

Plum

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:05 pm

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

How quickly we all forget what torture it was to have the kids all home and on zoom all day, every day! I think we should tip our teachers daily!!

We can't appreciate and thank the teachers without tips?

#BestBubby

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:07 pm

OP, most parents are struggling to pay the "obligatory" tips to children's Moros and Rebbes who
ARE underpaid.

Therapists are well paid so parents don't feel they have to tip them.

It does not mean they are unappreciative.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:07 pm

Both my kids are in OT and I made sure to give the therapist a nice tip. I also gave the teachers a nice tip as well since my children aren’t the norm and do require a little more attention or flexibility so I appreciate them for that. It doesn’t cost you a cent to write a note to a teacher or therapist to show appreciation and no excuse not to. If you can afford to give a tip as well, more power to you but not necessary. It’s a good example for the kids to see plain and simple.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:08 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Maybe you should read the thread about how much school based therapists are making.

amother

Taupe

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:12 pm

amother [ Coffee ] wrote:

Maybe you should read the thread about how much school based therapists are making.

I have read it, and 1/3 of the therapists who voted on that poll responded that they are earning 70k plus.
A google search tells me that the average salary for a speech therapist is 66k in NYC and 90k in NJ.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:27 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

That's right. 1/3 of the respondents. So why the assumption that therapists make so much when it's not the majority at all?

Your Google search is not referring to a school based therapist, is it? In any case, rates are far lower outside NY/NJ. No matter what Google says.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:33 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

The information you'll find on Google is most likely based on a 38-40 hour work week, an actual full time job. Not what frum women consider "full time".

amother

Mustard

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:56 pm

I am a parent that used to tip very generously. I worked really hard and and put thought into and stressed about the note, card, and gift each year. I was one of those low maintenance parents who praised the school, very rarely (never really) complained about anything , gave teachers the benefit of the doubt when something went wrong. All I heard was complaints about my kid (and really stupid complaints at that) , literally nothing positive , hardly any praise ever. While the annoying parents who were constantly complaining got all the glory at this school. Teachers and staff also should be mindful of how they are treating the ‘nice’ parents because after my experiences with this school, I didn’t feel that any of my efforts to be appreciative was valued at all and sadly, I like to show appreciation but I am less inclined to put in as much effort in the future.

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:02 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Parents are struggling to pay MANY obligatory bills, especially this year and last year more than in ever, so the extras come after.
It would be great if we could all afford to pay everyone and everything, but unfortunately many of us can’t, so we need to prioritize. OP, and anyone else who doesn’t get something, I’m sorry if I’m sorry if you don’t fall into the list of priorities.

amother

Olive

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:04 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

It costs time that I may or may not have. Even if I do write notes, my kids won’t see me writing them, because I don’t have time while they are awake. So at most they will hear “there is an envelope for x person in your knapsack, please make sure it gets there.”
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate every single person in my childrens schooling and success, but I just don’t have the time for even a 5 second note.