I’m your child’s therapist and deserve some recognition

amother

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 5:24 am

I’m a speech therapist working in two different schools. I work hard. I devote myself to the kids and put my heart and soul into the sessions. I work alongside the parents and strive for progress.
Chanuka came and went. Out of 22 students, 3 mothers sent me envelopes with tip and beautiful notes.
Now; I DONT NEED anyone’s tips. I b”h make a decent living and am fine. But how about some appreciation? Some encouragement? Ironically, those few mothers who did send me the envelopes are the sweetest, uncomplicated and appreciative ones. They always work along and are eager to do what’s expected to help speed up the therapy process.
The mothers with the endless demands and expectations who call me quite often to request or expect...didn’t even acknowledge my existence...
for my own children’s teachers and rebbeim, I sat down and penned beautiful letters of appreciation to send along with their tips. After all I find it’s the appreciation and the note that matters! Now I know most people argue that therapists make enough money they shouldn’t be getting tips. I’m fine with that. But are we not deserving of some appreciation? We work hard! We customize sessions for ur children! Do you care to acknowledge our existence?
Thanks for the opportunity to express my feelings 😊😊

amother

Cerise

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 5:46 am

Please just stop.

You don't deserve recognition.

People pay you to do a job. You need to feel good about your job from yourself not because some mother wrote you a note ot not.

Stop depending on other people to make you feel worthwhile and good.

I'm so sick and tired of hearing about how "mothers" (never fathers mind you) don't do enough or thank enough or pay enough or spend time, energy and money declaring pur undying love and gratitude for people.

We appreciate what you do. We are grateful. But just stop.

Success10

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 5:59 am

I don't think there's anything wrong with needing some recognition for doing one's job. Have you ever said "thank you" to a police officer? A garbageman? A solidier? A teacher? My kids are not currently in any therapies, but I do appreciate the reminder that therapists, and all employees, are humans too and thrive off of positive reinforcement and appreciation.

lk1234

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:00 am

amother [ Cerise ] wrote:

I think you are being rude. OP - I totally hear you. Only problem is some people just simply don't have the money to give above the tuition and payment for the therapy. Last year I had an amazing speech therapy working with one of my children. I couldn't afford to tip however I did tell her how deeply grateful I was for her work and how if I could afford I would love to pay her even more! I told her that if she ever needed a reference she should 100% use my name. I totally hear that feeling but just realize that there are likely to be other factors at play - nothing at all to do with you - that resulted in your not getting tipped.

Hugs.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:01 am

Success10 wrote:

I don't think there's anything wrong with needing some recognition for doing one's job. Have you ever said "thank you" to a policge officer? A garbageman? A solidier? A teacher? My kids are not currently in any therapies, but I do appreciate the reminder that therapists, and all employees, are humans too and thrive off of positive reinforcement and appreciation.

There is a difference between wanting and appreciating recognition and saying that you deserve recognition.

I think it was the word deserve that set me off

amother

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:41 am

Wow! Amother Cerise, Wow! And wow again! No words!
I’m so shocked! Bh there’s nothing wrong with my self esteem and I’m 100 percent fine! I was brought up to show hakaras hatov to ANYONE!! I write notes to bus drivers even though they get paid! I thank the janitor even though he gets paid! I tell the school cook how delicious the food looks even though he gets paid! I tell the babysitter how my kids love her even though she gets paid?
Why that feeling of entitlement?? Sorry but I guess we dont speak the same language

amother

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 6:45 am

lk1234 wrote:

Thank You😊
I’ll repeat again and again I DONT need or want tip!! I said it twice in my post😉
But thanks! U seem like a kind person

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:30 am

As a former therapist, I totally get you. I used to say the same. My theory was that it's thoughtlessness. It's a given that teachers get recognition Chanukah and Purim time, but we therapists get overlooked. They forget about us, or just don't realize. I always felt that the agencies should remind the parents to show appreciation.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:36 am

I do SEIT and p3 and totally hear you. Even a nice note of hakaras hatov gives you a boost that your efforts are appreciative. Sometimes when you work in a school especially, parents dont realize the time/effort/love you put into their kids. But I am sure you are appreciated. Some parents just dont show it.
(Now I hope none of my students' moms see this...lol... But not posting as amother)

mommy3b2c

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:38 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

I really don’t understand this. Whenever I spoke to the therapist I said “thanks so much. I really appreciate your hard work. I can really see a difference.” Why do I NEED to also send a note and a gift? (Ftr, I always did.)
I don’t expect anyone to send me notes or gifts for anything.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:39 am

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Yes! Some parents just dont think about it... It isnt an insult... They just have the teachers, rebbes and bus drivers on their minds...

That being said, my son's school p3 has not called to introduce herself yet this year, but I sent her a gift card to Ice Cream House with a thank you. I just didn't write her name on it because I dont know it!!! Maybe that will clue her in to call???

DVOM

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:41 am

I'm finding this to be a really interesting post.

I got two Chanukah gifts from clients this year. Something homemade, and a book.

From the rest of my clients I gave and got 'happy chanukah' wishes.

I didn't expect more and was not disappointed.

Where is this coming from, OP?

Would it be helpful for you to do some sore of gift exchange amongst the support staff in your school? Make you're coworkers feel loved and noticed and appreciated?

If I feel that I'm lacking love or recognition or appreciation, I try to give it to those around me. It weirdly enough fills the need so well.

Simple1

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 7:55 am

I'm sorry you are feeling disappointed. I know the feeling. But technically speaking this gift giving thing will never end. Many many people work very very very hard in jobs and don't get gifted on Chanuka or any time of year. And that's life.

But do you really thank everyone who impacted your life? The cashiers and shelf stockers who prevent you from starving? What about the subs who enable the teachers to do their jobs with peace of mind that they can take off when you need to? The underpaid writers in magazines who provide entertainment? And on and on.

Keep in mind, that the teacher is spending the whole day and week with the kids. Therapists are there for less than an hour a week. And what about a child with multiple tutors and therapists, it can get truly overwhelming. If 19 people didn't gift you, than maybe that's the norm in your school?

You actually just reminded me that I have a child with a school speech therapist that I didn't acknowledge. Not sure what I want to do now. But if we're talking about hakaras hatov, EVERY time a service provider calls me to update me about a child, or even to remind me to sign a paper, I take the opportunity to verbally thank her. Is that not hakaras hatov? And no, I am not a difficult parent. At all. Just the opposite.

DVOM said it very nicely. If you are feeling empty and disappointed, you can find other ways to fill the need. When I was subbing in a daycare (there were times I did an entire year!) and didn't get one Chanuka gift, I took some money out of my salary to buy myself a little something special. Doesn't have to be expensive. If you got 3 gifts, that's better than many workers in other professions, so you can focus on that!

cbsp

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:07 am

We have a few kids with multiple therapists in school and sometimes out of school.

We try to give a thank you card at the end of service. A Chanukah gift giving never entered my mind as for us its purely a reflection of the "end of year holiday" season - which we and the frum providers don't celebrate.

Chanukah gelt for a Rebbe or Morah who teaches Torah is different. While the services provided by the assorted therapists are vital, it's still not Torah. (and sometimes we choose to give Purim or Pesach gelt instead of Chanukah gelt). We try to give each one a mishloach manos and the very personalized thank you cards for all are reserved for the end of the year.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:29 am

As a speech therapist myself and a mother of a special needs child I understand both sides. I had to write cards (and I wanted them to be personal not just standard poem or whatever) to 12 !!! Therapists and this is just for one child! It was HARD and took a lot of time! That's besides for the money aspect..last year it was even harder because we were tighter on money. For me its 100% worth it because I know its appreciated and I want to show my thanks.
However, personally I got thank you from 2 clients and the rest... I know they appreciate me! Maybe it's not thoughtlessness on their part maybe it's that they dont have time or the money and feel dumb giving a card without money.

ETA I wrote thoughtfulness instead of thoughtlessness (is that a word lol)

amother

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 8:31 am

DVOM wrote:

From regular moms I wud say I shouldn’t expect... although I do think if someone works one on one with YOUR child it makes sense to recognize them... but I’m talking about mothers -maybe I should have made it clearer in the beginning- who have no problem calling you day or night to voice concerns, discuss plans, ask for advice.... why is it that when it comes to saying something like “thank you for your work” etc they are all of a sudden too busy??
And AGAIN! I DID NOT say I want a gift! Just a simple two words!
No, I’m not arrogant! I’m not burnt out! I’m just simply human! And just as most mothers know to make requests they should also know to say thank you!
And just btw for the amother who asked if I thank the cashier... u might think I’m funny, but YES I DO!!!