$100K great new income, yeh right!!!!!

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 6:59 pm

the way I understood it- she said she now does everything 'legally' which implies that she didnt do it legally beforehand!

Her and her husband may have been paid off the books so they could qualify for the benefits that they were receiving. If that is the case- that is fraud, and its a crime. You do the crime- then sit the time.

In my opinion- any frum person who is amoral enough to commit fraud by stealing from our governemnt (either using section 8, food stamps, etc when they are getting it only from scamming) should be punished like any other citizen found guilty of that crime.

healthymama

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 7:00 pm

Quote:

OP here
So the roof over our heads costs us $2100
The car cots $400 gas included
The net monthly income is $3600 which leaves us with $1100 for the month, do you think I’m meshuga enough to even tell you how much tuition costs? And the cost of staying sane is higher than all the numbers mentioned here.

1. Check your deductions. If your net income is 3600 PER MONTH, you are not making anywhere close to 100K a year, unless they are taking out way, way too much in taxes because you messed up your deductions.
If your gross income is say 5K a month, then your yearly salary is only 60K. So something is wrong with the math in your story

2. Move to a cheaper place. Your rent is too high if half your paycheck goes for to pay for the house.

3. Ask for tuition reduction.

4. drop the cleaning lady.

micki

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 7:57 pm

your rent should not be more than 1/4 your monthly salary. if it is then move to somewhere cheaper.
I cannot imagine how 100K is not enough to live off. unless of course you spend on luxeries.
how many kids do you have?
and healthy mama everything you said is correct, with the exception of havin her ask for a tuition reduction.
if she makes 100K then she can certainly fford tuition. leave the scholarships for the families that really need it.

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:04 pm

cleaning lady is costing me $40 a week and that is because I need somebody to help out while I am away, I am always away working! I also need her to help with the added chores because I am away such as ironing my husbands shirts which take s an hour. Its really not important to post the details but after the deductions (they also take off for his EZpass that he uses to get to work and they also take off for the lovely new insurance they put us on which pays almost nothing. It really hit us this week because they didn’t pay for the xmas holiday and new year and then fords funeral, all these days they were closed) and the car/gas there is nothing left if we pay the utilities on time and try to eat like normal healthy people. The tuition is a chase each month and I have never needed a jacadi outfit whatever that is. I need about $10 per outfit per kid per season and that is B”H a small expense. I don’t do manicures I was blessed with a self maintaining physic b”h.

thank you red sea thank you yoyo thank you lilly. I know all about what we did in the past there is no need to rub it in. I am simply exploding from holding this in, watching all the people around me coke and bake and have clean houses and decent minivans and enough bedroom to have enough beds and all that while we are making technically more money than them and we’re not coping. I’m estimating that our added losses are about $36,00 a year and that is leaving a gaping hole.

We are committed to NY and what’s worse, we are committed to this neighborhood. My grandparents married here as well as dh’s and we grew up here and everyone and everything e ever knew lives here. Thos are also all the people who are still living the way we used to.

IN SUMMARY – where’s the prize for doing it right. and I’m taking purely on this world

faigie

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:11 pm

back up people...........
OP if your hubby told you he is making 100G and as I understand it you have a job also,,,,,,, and you cant feed yourselves........ something is VERY wrong..
you need to ask to see the books immediately! where is your hubby putting the money that hes earning?
why is the take home only 3,600.
get an accounting of the savings the investments EVERYTHING untill you can account for every dime on his pay stubs and yours.

red sea

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:21 pm

there is no prize for doing your $ right in this world. if you do it right, you are doing it cuz thats what G-d wants. trust that He will provide and figure out where the rest of the gross income is going. Thats the most you can do, then its down to cutting expenses and counting every dollar. Theres a reason its said that the frum avg size family poverty line in nyc is 100k. you are totally normal to feel frustrated but be proud of yourself for doing right, those who are cheating others will have to pay the price in the end unfortunately for them.

healthymama

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:21 pm

Quote:

Its really not important to post the details but after the deductions (they also take off for his EZpass that he uses to get to work and they also take off for the lovely new insurance they put us on which pays almost nothing.

Well, yes it is important to write out the details because people can't really understand your situation or help or even sympathize appropriately when they don't know the details. If you are making 100K, then your net monthly should be about 6,000, depending on how many children you have. You wrote that your net is about half of that.

It does seem like you are paying for a certain lifestyle which you are taking for granted. Living in NY is expensive, paying full tuition is also expensive and having a nice van and a cleaning lady- all these things cost money and if these are worth it to you, then be happy.

I don't know how the people around you do it, but probably not legally and in the end, that catches up with you.

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:26 pm

yes the numbers really don't make too much sense

but thats not the point, the point is that the OP is stressed out that even tho they are making an honest man's pay they're still struggling, and I think people need to be more sensitive to that, I dont think it fair to say "fire your cleaning lady" no one besides for the OP knows how much she needs it.

OP- you mentioned that your husbands pays a ton for health insurance, so tell him to cancel his work plan and get his own private one, that's what we did, the one my dh was offered with his job was double the price
Also remember the standards of living are a lot higher in NY where 100K is a lot in Alabama, it is a lot less where you are! Don't feel stressed out that itll never be enough, as your dh gets more experience the salaries will grow towards your needs

Good luck

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:27 pm

Ok so I wrote $100k to make a nice topic header but it’s less than that and I can’t specify. But the $3600 is what really lands in the envelope at home and its awful now that all that is just for paying for what we gave up, plus nothing else anymore. I don’t want to skimp and save, I haven’t been brought up like this and nobody I know gives up a car and a cellphone and other normal and acceptable add-ons.

red sea

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 8:33 pm

well if its not 100k and 3600 is the legit net amount of course you are struggling. that's not enough $ to live that lifestyle in ny. its as simple as that, and everyone else who is honest and nets that is in the same sitch - its called really struggling. on that money with ny cheap roof over your head and tuition, there aint much left.

S.Shcwartz

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 9:05 pm

Yknow, I got something to say to you OP.
ME TOO. No, not 100K, much much less, but we are the 'middle class'. It 'never' pays to be in the middle class. Pple think ur rich. When I know that my 'hard working' friend whose husband is still in kollel and they are 'struggling', they have more cash than me in the long run. Bec. where oh where does the $ go to if everything is from the govt?!!!! the rent is paid, food is paid, insurance is paid..... That is where my $ goes to... and 3/4 of dh hard earned $? To the landlords mortgage...
No Op, there is no reward...but in the long run you'll feel much better about yourself, knowing u lived honestly!
Good Luck, on the transition. All good things come the hard way....

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 9:11 pm

DH takes home $3400/month in New York but we manage. You shouldn't have to be living off of milk and bread, or whatever you said. If that's the case, then you're completely mismanaging your money.

You're paying a lease each month for the car? That's throwing money away. Give it up and buy a used car.

Quote:

I don’t want to skimp and save, I haven’t been brought up like this

And we all get what we want in life, right? What makes you entitled to have more than other people who are working their behinds off too?

Instead of giving up your cellphone, try to downgrade the plan.

Does your DH take lunch to work every day or does he buy?

I also agree about asking for a tuition reduction.

One other thing- you made a vague reference that you're working (your reason for needing a cleaning lady) but it's your DH that takes home the $3600. So obviously there's more money there that you're not accounting for. Where does that go? And when I was working 10 hour days, with children, I still did my own cleaning.

amother

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 9:11 pm

I cannot believe that you cannot make it on 3600 a month. And people do live w/o cell phones - they also live w/o cleaning ladies. Why don't you ask the people who cannot buy their kids winter coats, or have to go w/o food for a week. How about if you need toilet paper or hair conditioner or maybe even tampons. There are people out there who suffer from low income issues. (I know cause I'm one of them) YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE ONE OF THEM. Be happy with what you have and make a budget to make it work for you. Stop complaining Hashem gave you plenty. Learn to use it wisely.

mumoo

Thu, Jan 04 2007, 9:13 pm

A general guideline that many lenders use is that no more than 28 percent of your total monthly income should go toward your mortgage payment (including taxes and insurance) and that no more than 36 percent of your total income should go to pay total debt, including credit cards. For example, if your monthly gross income is $4,000, then 28 percent, or $1,120, would be your total housing expense. In some areas, such as California, lenders expect a greater portion of income to go toward housing expenses. However, the closer to the 28 percent guideline you can get, the better off you will be.

(I copied from a mortgage website)