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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
Olive
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:46 pm
momsrus wrote: | Same as a shell |
right I know some people who dont wear shells for that reason
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:48 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote: | Everyone can wear what they want but I really dont like it. its the look of I wish I can wear leggings but im jewish and I dress tzniusdig so Ill wear the leggings and put a skirt over it. |
Or, "I hate how socks and stockings look but the minhag hamakom is to cover lower legs so this is how I'll do it."
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amother
Bisque
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:49 pm
I have no problem with my dd wearing leggings with a shorter skirt but she goes to a moderate BY in Brooklyn and they wear ankle length uniform skirts and they are still not allowed to wear leggings under their skirts..even in the winter with boots!
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amother
Olive
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:53 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote: | Or, "I hate how socks and stockings look but the minhag hamakom is to cover lower legs so this is how I'll do it." |
No thats very different. Leggings were always the thing that the non jews wore and some want to adapt it to their lifestyle. whats your talking about is a preference.
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amother
Blush
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:57 pm
I think if you are dealing with teens you can say things how they are: people may judge you from the community. Or they may not. But you should be aware of that and make a decision accordingly. I have no problem with you wearing leggings (if that's the case) but I want you to make your choices intentionally.
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 5:59 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote: | No thats very different. Leggings were always the thing that the non jews wore and some want to adapt it to their lifestyle. whats your talking about is a preference. |
Very different from what? I'm not understanding your point.
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amother
Olive
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:01 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote: | Very different from what? I'm not understanding your point. |
very different than I dont like the look of socks or stockings because I just dont. Leggings are more of a non jewish thing like taking foul non jewish music and just changing the words
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amother
Cerulean
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:27 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote: | very different than I dont like the look of socks or stockings because I just dont. Leggings are more of a non jewish thing like taking foul non jewish music and just changing the words |
Seriously, wearing leggings is like using the tune of a non Jewish song with foul words? If that's the case, what specifically is wrong with both?
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amother
White
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:29 pm
By the non jews, stockings are typically not worn because they have strong s3xual connotations.
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amother
Pearl
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:34 pm
Excuse me gingie37, but she's the mom and she doesn't have to allow it just because they want. Why should she allow her girls to lower their standards of tzenuis just because they want to wear leggings?? And it doesn't mean that it has to be a fight. She can have a talk with her daughters about it & explain it to them nicely. We are supposed to be mechanech our girls, not give into whatever they want to avoid a fight.
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momsrus
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 6:59 pm
amother [ White ] wrote: | By the non jews, stockings are typically not worn because they have strong s3xual connotations. |
When it’s worn with a mini skirt.
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Notsobusy
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:02 pm
I live in Lakewood and I have teenage girls and they wear leggings under their skirts. A lot of girls in their high school also wear leggings under their skirts, even to school. Officially the rule is tights only in school, but they wear long skirts and either booties or high socks, so there's absolutely no way for anyone to know what's underneath unless if they look very closely. When there's no school they very often wear short skirts with leggings and booties or higher socks.
When my first dd asked me to get her leggings my first reaction was the same as a lot of you. But then I thought about it and realized that as long as she is tznius it really doesn't matter what fabric it is. Leggings are so much more comfortable than tights and cooler, they're not wearing thick winter leggings now.
I learned a long time ago not to fight over things that aren't really a tznius issue but are only a "look" issue.
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Notsobusy
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 7:03 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote: | Excuse me gingie37, but she's the mom and she doesn't have to allow it just because they want. Why should she allow her girls to lower their standards of tzenuis just because they want to wear leggings?? And it doesn't mean that it has to be a fight. She can have a talk with her daughters about it & explain it to them nicely. We are supposed to be mechanech our girls, not give into whatever they want to avoid a fight. |
Please explain what exactly makes it less tzius than tights. Just because it's a different look that we're not used to doesn't make it a lower tznius standard, it's just different.
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amother
Pearl
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:05 pm
Notsobusy, I explained already in a previous post the difference between leggings and tights. It's less tzenuis for them because it's not accepted in their community and for them it's a lower standard.
Another reason is because leggings are generally worn without socks and the legs show.
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amother
Seashell
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:21 pm
Notsobusy wrote: | I live in Lakewood and I have teenage girls and they wear leggings under their skirts. A lot of girls in their high school also wear leggings under their skirts, even to school. Officially the rule is tights only in school, but they wear long skirts and either booties or high socks, so there's absolutely no way for anyone to know what's underneath unless if they look very closely. When there's no school they very often wear short skirts with leggings and booties or higher socks.
When my first dd asked me to get her leggings my first reaction was the same as a lot of you. But then I thought about it and realized that as long as she is tznius it really doesn't matter what fabric it is. Leggings are so much more comfortable than tights and cooler, they're not wearing thick winter leggings now.
I learned a long time ago not to fight over things that aren't really a tznius issue but are only a "look" issue. |
So beautiful! I remember my parents nearly having a heart attack when I wanted to wear some funky new socks that were in style. Looking back - yeah it was ugly. But my adult self would tell my parents then- its ok. I’m not “going off” I just feel so good in these. This stage will pass... I’m still your wonderful daughter etc.
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Notsobusy
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:27 pm
amother [ Pearl ] wrote: | Notsobusy, I explained already in a previous post the difference between leggings and tights. It's less tzenuis for them because it's not accepted in their community and for them it's a lower standard.
Another reason is because leggings are generally worn without socks and the legs show. |
I guess that's where I disagree. To me it's either tznius or it's not.
Tznius = covers necessary body parts according to your posek, is not too tight, and not too attention grabbing.
Once you checked those boxes, you're tznius, doesn't matter what anyone else in your community thinks about it.
As far as how it's generally worn, I don't think that's true. I think it's obvious when someone's wearing leggings without socks, but many people wear them with socks and you just can't tell. If you hold that your lower leg has to be covered and your lower leg is covered, then you're tznius. It doesn't matter if someone else wears the same garment and isn't tznius, the problem with her outfit isn't the leggings, it's that her leg isn't covered.
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karat
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:36 pm
IMO, the issue in allowing your teens to wear leggings would be in coming across as hashkafically inconsistent with school rules.
(Assuming the high school your daughters attend do not permit leggings).
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amother
Pearl
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:54 pm
Notsobusy, tzenuis also includes a way of dress that's accepted in your community or circles. In some communities it's accepted for women to go with bare legs but in a different community it's a no no. It's also important for the household & hashkafa to be consistent with the school.
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amother
Seashell
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 8:56 pm
We were also teenagers! In my days it was white slouch socks, you probably had some other strange fad and now its leggings.
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Notsobusy
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Thu, Jul 04 2019, 9:02 pm
karat wrote: | IMO, the issue in allowing your teens to wear leggings would be in coming across as hashkafically inconsistent with school rules.
(Assuming the high school your daughters attend do not permit leggings). |
My dd's school doesn't have any rule about leggings. The rule is tights only in school, but there's no rule about what they wear on their legs out of school. And teenagers like to rebel, wearing leggings instead of tights under a ankle length skirt is a pretty harmless rebellion, it's absolutely not worth the fight.
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