I’m your child’s therapist and deserve some recognition

amother

Taupe

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 9:56 am

Most working people do not receive tips or bonuses from their employers. Therapists
are not more deserving than others.
Sorry
Many employees are overworked and underpaid.

(I do tip rebbes and Morah).

amother

Wheat

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 9:57 am

amother [ Khaki ] wrote:

Why do you need to give tips to teachers?

Because teachers expect it and we all know that.

But if a therapist dares to say that some appreciation would be nice, she is "selfish and entitled." but its ok that teachers expect gifts (because they work soooo much harder than therapists and make soooo little money)

And just to repeat my previous post, I DO NOT think parents need to tip therapists. I think the schools should show us as much appreciation and recognition as they do to the teachers and not treat us like garbage)

amother

Cyan

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 9:58 am

I think you know which mother's appreciate your services without a gift. It's great if they can give but
Some mother's are too overwhelmed, just don't know what to give or feel silly giving as much as they can afford. Which might not be much.
Especially if a child gets multiple therapies plus teachers bus drivers etc
Some mother's are put together, on top of things, confident in whatever they can give, organized etc...
I'm NOT one of those
I felt terrible but just realized too late or couldn't put a thank you together for whatever reason.
And you NEVER know what a person's going through.
But I sure hope my kids therapists knew I appreciated their devotion and hard work!

Simple1

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:01 am

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

I'm a high school teacher and I never get a thank you from parents and rarely from students either. That's ok. The school acknowledges my work and I know that I'm doing a good job. Would it be nice to be thanked and appreciated by the student body and parents? yes, of course. But I don't expect it and I think therein lies the problem. No one should expect to be thanked. Therefore, if you are, you are just happy with what you get.

I wonder about this. High school teachers do deserve as much thanks as elementary. But does anyone manage to tip - with there being 10-20 teachers, that would be impractical. I don't know the solution. And that's where the tipping thing got out of hand, because it will be impossible for every individual in the world to be tipped for their hard work, and the line gets drawn somewhere, leaving others out. The solution, is when taking a job, consider the ups and downs, and do what works for you and gives you the most fulfillment and parnassah.

amother

Orange

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:03 am

I am really not impressed with my sons Seit. He never returns my phone calls or responds to my texts about my son being absent.
He never calls with progress reports and I am not happy with my sons progress.
I sent fancy Chanukah gifts to the Rebbes on Chanukah one day at a time so my son does not get confused about who to give it to. The day I sent it to the Rebbe the Seit called with an update.
I was planning to send him the gift the next day.
I think it wasn’t pretty.
I find it okay if one doesn’t tip. It can get kind of impossible between Seits, ST therapis tea OTs, rebbeim and teachers.
Chanukah is a busy time to call up a Seit to say thank you.
I am sure some clients give chanukah gifts, other shalach manos, and other say Thank you when meeting after a session, or calling for a progress report.
I myself used to teach. Gifts and kind words were always appreciated, but never expected.

amother

Gray

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:03 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

To all those who hope I’m not their child’s therapist, I very likely am🤪

If you’re my daughters therapist, please call and introduce yourself to your students’ parents before you start expecting gifts 🤪

amother

Navy

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:03 am

I try to give my children's therapists most years. This year I have 19 therapists to give. I'm struggling financially and will give a small amount. There were years I just tipped $5. One year I didn't give anything as I didn't even have funds to buy food for the week. It's not that I don't appreciate the therapists.

My kids are BH dressed well and people think I live in a nice house so I must be well off. The clothes are hand me downs from my sister's kids. The house was purchased during the housing crash at a very low price. My mortgage, insurance and taxes is less than the going rent in my area for a 3 bedroom apartment.

You never know what's really going on in people's homes.

In addition, working almost full time and raising a large family I don't have a minute spare. We had Chanukah vacation and then had a snow day. I go to bed each night around 1 am and I'm up before 7 each morning. Writing the TY letters at 1am when exhausted is not easy. I started and hope to finish before the end of the week. My kids will give it later this week.

flowerpower

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:05 am

I was brought up to show appreciation to anyone that services me or my child. My childs therapist is actively involved in the case- communicates often, keeps me updated... of course she deserves gratitude. I also sent something for her other help( which I wasnt highly impressed with so far).

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:10 am

cbsp wrote:

I actually have never given thought to how much the therapists make. If it's ostensibly about showing appreciation why should that come into play?

No idea, but this was mentioned several times in a different thread recently as justification for not gifting therapists.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:13 am

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

That was not OP's point and you know it.

Stars actually makes a great point. We all deserve the world. It’s so ugly to expect it though. I was a therapist and I never expected anything. I was always shocked when I got anything.

Stars

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:15 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Stars actually makes a great point. We all deserve the world. It’s so ugly to expect it though. I was a therapist and I never expected anything. I was always shocked when I got anything.

Thank you 🙏
Exactly

amother

Blonde

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:17 am

DD had OT for a while, she didn't take insurance and I paid an absolute fortune!! It didn't even cross my mind to give a gift or tip, I didn't even think it's done. Of course I thanked her after sessions and when DD was done therapy, but I didn't know therapists are supposed to be gifted or tipped.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:21 am

Ok so im going to weigh in here. I'm a therapist and one of my own kids get p3 services in school. I put in 110% into my job. Some parents realize and some don't. It's just part of life. I once had a nightmare parent who drove me crazy, called or texted me everyday for daily reports even though I had a daily communication notebook. And then no recognition and not only that she complained about me and even so I went above and beyond. Until I said what am I doing this for? And I dropped her. There are always the crazies. But in my child's case, I found out that her p3 in school doesn't see her for her full time slot. Like ever. They didn't say, oh btw , I can't see her for her full mandate, I am taking less hours. So I don't tip. When I had a p3 who was wonderful (and even average is fine if you really do your job!) I made sure to tip. Maybe it's wrong of me, because you have to realize that I don't pay a penny out of pocket. The city pays the salary and it's a wonderful service. So the parents who are getting these services in nyc are getting a free service. Sure the therapist gets paid, but the parent isn't paying anything. And some of them are not nice. But that is life.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:22 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

They're not! I wish this whole gifting and tipping wasn't a thing for anyone and parents just had normal hakaras hatov.

notshanarishona

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:25 am

Their is a huge difference between someone who spends 4 hours with your kid 5 days a week and someone who works with her once a week for half an hour to 45 minutes. It’s the same thing with a high school teacher. Someone who is a home room teacher or a mechaneches I would think to give something to but not someone who has my kid for one period only.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:27 am

I am not the type to write warm notes to people. I never saw my mother doing it either. I am always polite and thankful to teachers who are doing a good job and I send something as it’s requested by the school.
I did not tip my daughters tutor who I pay a few hundred dollars a week! She knows I appreciate her but no, I’m not going to spend more when I am paying her very generously.
This year I did not tip my kids bus driver who usually doesn’t show up at least once a week. At the end of the year I will thank him for all the days he did get my kids to school.
I just wouldn’t think of writing a whole note to a therapist who meets with my child 2x a week for 1/2 hour... sure I would thank her for being patient and kind to my child but I know she’s getting a nice saraly for her work.
Sorry, I’m just not the writing notes type.
You know who appreciates you without the note.
I don’t give many gifts on Chanuka to begin with...
One year a speech therapist was at my house a few days before Purim and I gave her a mishloach Manos I had just prepared but I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to prepare something.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Dec 20 2020, 10:27 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Stars actually makes a great point. We all deserve the world. It’s so ugly to expect it though. I was a therapist and I never expected anything. I was always shocked when I got anything.

OP never said she deserves the world. She never said she deserves gifts or tips. She said she would like some appreciation.

We all know that come Chanukah the teachers expect gifts and tips. Case in point:

I was walking the hallway in my school the day before Chanukah and overheard this convo:

Teacher 1: I am shocked!!! I did not get anything!!!! (Teacher is holding a huge bouquet of flowers. Someone obviously gave her something. Unless she is in the habit of bringing her own flowers to school)

Teacher 2: don't worry, maybe you will get gifts next week

So basically, teachers are shocked when they DO NOT get gifts, and therapists should be shocked when they DO get gifts