Good Enough Parenting Tricks

lucky14

Wed, May 02 2018, 1:24 am

miz wrote:

I often "forget" to remind my daughter, just turned 6, to do her teeth at night. (and in the morning!) its just too much pressure in the whole bedtime routine...

I'm often tempted to skip my toddler's teeth brushing but we don't have dental insurance and I just can't afford not to brush them...

amother

Copper

Wed, May 02 2018, 2:14 am

amother wrote:

I see white Mac and ketchup every night.

We never read books, just watch movies until they conk out on the couch, stopped buying PJs because they just wake up and change the next morning

Baths only on Sunday because they play out in the mud all Shabbos

No cleaning help so nothing gets done unless my mom pops in and insists on cleaning counter tops and toilets

Never insist on homework, I figured its between them and teacher, I pay the tuition, some of mine did it and some didn't cuz they needed some downtime and screen time

This is such a fake posting... I hope.

heidi

Wed, May 02 2018, 2:15 am

amother wrote:

Maybe this should be a spinoff. But where's the line between good enough parenting and downright neglect? I sincerely hope you're exaggerating.

Goldie613

Wed, May 02 2018, 3:03 am

miz wrote:

I often "forget" to remind my daughter, just turned 6, to do her teeth at night. (and in the morning!) its just too much pressure in the whole bedtime routine...

OK, I admit it, bedtime teeth brushing I do, but in the morning, when we are already about the miss the school bus? Ummm...well...let's just say it's on my to do list to eventually add that in...

Banging head

Goldie613

Wed, May 02 2018, 3:11 am

amother wrote:

Stopped telling my ADHD boys to behave in stores or restaurants or shuls. I'm just sick of managing everything so if someone complains I say "Honey this is how God made them, you're welcome to take it up with Him.".

OMG - that's perfect - I love it!!!

Very Happy

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 02 2018, 3:45 am

amother wrote:

This. I do indeed hope you are exaggerating. Please tell me you are.
And no, just because you pay the tuition doesn't mean you can think 'it's beween your child and the teacher'. Don't you think that you have a responsibility as a parent to make sure they do their homework? I guess you pay a lot of tuition, don't you want to make sure that you and your child get the maximum of your money's worth then? Don't you want them to succeed and excel in school? Don't you want them to get good grades? I've got news for you: It doesn't come for free. It takes effort. Screen time won't take your child anywhere in life and it doesn't require any effort. Education, homework and parents who instill chinuch and the value of learning will.

cinnamon

Wed, May 02 2018, 4:06 am

amother wrote:

Do you really think it's the parent's job to make sure the kids do home work?
Where is the kids' resposibility?
Or the teacher's who'se actual JOB it is to make sure the kid is learning?

amother

Brunette

Wed, May 02 2018, 4:53 am

amother wrote:

Goodness.

You could have found fault with her entire parenting technique (or lack thereof), yet the part that is most glaring for you is... homework?!

sirel

Wed, May 02 2018, 5:46 am

amother wrote:

Goodness.

You could have found fault with her entire parenting technique (or lack thereof), yet the part that is most glaring for you is... homework?!

exactly. The homework part is the only part that feels somewhat okay

Last edited by sirel on Wed, May 02 2018, 5:58 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 02 2018, 5:50 am

cinnamon wrote:

Do you really think it's the parent's job to make sure the kids do home work?
Where is the kids' resposibility?
Or the teacher's who'se actual JOB it is to make sure the kid is learning?

The child is definitely responsible, I agree. And parent should supervise or make sure that that they do their home work or at least show some kind of interest.
Yes, it's the teachers job to teach. However this is a situation where you need teacher, child and parent to be a team.
A parent who tries to get off responsibility of their child's education by saying 'I'm paying tuitution and with that, my responsibility of my child's education ends' is IMO doing a huge mistake.
It's well documented that children from homes where parent's show interest in their child's education and make it a priority are usually succeeding better.
To say that my child needs screen time but I'm not interested in his homework has, IMO, wrong priorities. Screen time is leisure. Home work is duty. IMO, 1st duty - then leisure.

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 02 2018, 6:03 am

amother wrote:

Goodness.

You could have found fault with her entire parenting technique (or lack thereof), yet the part that is most glaring for you is... homework?!

I indeed found some very disturbing examples of parenting on this thread.
Homework is a part of school eduation and it's included in my category 'High Priority'

amother

Blonde

Wed, May 02 2018, 6:40 am

As an educator I personally dont believe in h.w. unless to reinforce skills such as reading writing math etc. If a teacher can teach well I should not be memorizing chumash words or spelling definitions. My kids are out until 5pm and need to be in bed by 8pm. They need to relax and bond as a family not stress about more work.
So that part of the post I'm fine with...but no screen time instead!
No dirty homes!
And no collapsing in their clothing either! Do they get gnite hugs?!
Not judging- just curious, what ARE YOU BUSY WITH?

amother

Bisque

Wed, May 02 2018, 7:03 am

amother wrote:

I'm also wondering the same.
And I was referring to homework as reinforcing skills like reading writing math.

cinnamon

Wed, May 02 2018, 7:20 am

I though of some more:

- There is an unbreakable rule in my house - after the meal on shabbos EVERYONE has to be in bed for an hour.

- Sometimes if I really need them to go to sleep already and can't deal with bed time routines I declare a sleepover and let everyone bring their blankets and pillows to one of the bedrooms and sleep all together - "As long as you keep it quite and go to sleep right away"

- When I have no patience for supper I announce a movie night - Everyone needs to get into pjs right away and I make sandwiches and let them eat while watching a movie.

- I don't really do this anymore (except with 5.5 y.o ds sometimes) but when the kids were little and we went to MIL for shabbos I would put them in pjs at her house motzei shabbos so they could go streight to bed when we get home. MIL hated it but I didn't care.

- I sometimes get the kids to read stories to eachother instead of me reading to them

- My fifteen month old needs someone to sit by his crib in order for him to go to sleep most of the times it has to be me or dh but when the baby's o.k with it I have the 5.5 year old do it.

giselle

Wed, May 02 2018, 8:01 am

amother wrote:

This is a great thread. However, dysfunctional homes do exist. And just because one person writes how she lets her kids eat sandwiches for dinner or paint their bedroom walls, doesn’t make some of the other posts ok. Some are actual neglect. I’m also not judging, honestly. But I strongly encourage those of you who are struggling with managing their homes or caring for their children to get help. Again, before I’m attacked, I am NOT referring to most of the humorous comments on this thread.

Last edited by giselle on Wed, May 02 2018, 9:07 am; edited 2 times in total

Moonlight

Wed, May 02 2018, 8:48 am

cinnamon wrote:

I really like some of these. Thanks.for great ideas!

amother

Jade

Wed, May 02 2018, 2:09 pm

cinnamon wrote:

- I sometimes get the kids to read stories to eachother instead of me reading to them

I've done this! Smile

And btw what's wrong with getting your kids into pj's at MIL on m"sh?? I call that organized!

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, May 02 2018, 2:47 pm

I let my 5 yr old prepare my toddlers bottle in the morning - hes up an hour before him anyway.
I leave tidying up the house for the next day when I'm exhausted.
I leave cleaning for the cleaning lady which means my bathrooms and floors only get washed once or twice a week. I know its far from ideal but im a single working mom and prioritized spending time with my kids over cleaning.
I don't fight over finishing supper- as long as they eat some of whats in their plate Im good.
Laundry gets folded and packed away sometimes a day or two after dried. I occasionally take things out of basket.

Then there are some things that I do that are not good enough at all , I wish it would've been different, but I dont have the energy to crack down on it and fight with my kids.
- my kids rarely eat fruits and veggies. Yhey are very picky eaters and refuse to even try them. I keep on preparing but am pretty discouraged. I do try to serve soups but they barely eat it. (They wont even eat smoothies)
- Kids rarely brush their teeth. Theyre 2 and 5 and gag and choke and make a dramatic scene out of it.