I just got the diagnosis

manhattanmom

Wed, Feb 10 2010, 7:31 pm

amother wrote:

mltjm wrote:

I didn't read this whole thread, so I don't know where it's quite at, on page three.

But OP- its really, really, REALLY important that you change your attitude about your son having glasses. If you are ashamed/embarassed of it, he will pick up on that and be ashamed too. If you act like it's no big deal though, and tell him he looks so cute in glasses, he will handle it just fine and be confident and think he looks cute too. It's all in your hands.

Little kids are ADORABLE in glasses, and by the time he is 7 or 8, more kids in his class will have them too. The cutest kid in the class I teach has glasses. In addition, as long as the kid proves himself to be responsible, contacts can be given as young as 11 or 12.

OP here:

As I previously wrote to another poster:

Give me a minute to absorb the blow!

FYI With my DS it was business as usual today.
I did play with him and did everything as usual.
I DO NOT CRY IN FRONT OF HIM. And I did not cry for the past few hours ie 10h or so.

So again give me a minute to take a deep breath and figure out what is the best way to cope and let me get some info on how other mothers did it.
I think that I am entitled to a bit of time to adapt ie a day or so.

Again the point of this thread was to share and to get some chizuk and informations about what to do in this situation.
Which Thank G.d, is truly helping.

Now we are awaiting to see the ophtalmologist and we are praying that, if need be, he only needs glasses and nothing else is wrong.
The previous poster who stated that maybe there could be something else got me scared. Really scared.

Sheesh. I didn't mean to scare you.
You asked what the difference is between an optometrist and an ophthalmologist. I answered you.
In general, for pediatrics especially you should see an ophthalmologist. When there is a young kid with a very high prescription eyeglasses, yes you should check it out.
Nothing is wrong. Just an ophthalmologist CAN give a much more thorough eye (and medical) exam and that is always recommended. I've taken my 2 year old to an ophthalmologist twice already just for a checkup. (okay, first time we thought something was wrong and colleagues urged me to go...)

Also, the reason people are making light of your concern might be due to the title of the thread. When people read I JUST GOT THE DIAGNOSIS they think of a kid with cancer or serious developmental concern or something in that range. You should have kept the title as, "Help! Freaking Out! My Toddler Needs Glasses!"

greeneyes

Wed, Feb 10 2010, 10:41 pm

amother wrote:

greeneyes wrote:

OP, I'm so glad to hear you are getting used to the idea, and are feeling better about it. My guess is that with a little more time, you'll be even more used to the idea & it won't bother you any more. (At least that's how it was with me. Smile

)

OP here

Thank you so much for your lovely pictures!
B'li Ayin HaRah she is sooooo cute!

I went to see frames today, and my DS tried a few pairs!
He is so funny with them.

The Optometrist told me that with his kind of prescription (+7,25 and +6) it will show but he will try to make them as thin as possible (1.74mm).

Is your lovely daughter wearing thinner glasses or is it regular glasses?
Did you use "flat" glasses or circular one?

Thank you again for sharing.

Thank you! Smile

She is wearing thinner glasses. We went to a couple stores, and the first one told us that her insurance would not pay for the thinner lenses. We ended up trying another store that was more willing to work with us and they were able to get us the thinner lenses under her insurance. Like I said, she also has a pretty high prescription.

I'm not sure what you mean by flat glasses versus a circular one. embarrassed

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 11:49 am

mominlkwd wrote:

. I was the same way with my son. Now I can't believe I made such a big deal about it. .

OP here,

Thank you mominlkwd for being so honest.

I think the initial blow takes a few hours to sink in and then you start being pro active.

I went to a store to see the children's collection I talked to a few mom with children with "similar" cases

I still hope that the optometrist is wrong and the hypermetropia is not that "bad" and moreover that nothing else is wrong C'V'S'

Thank you again.

It really helps.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 12:15 pm

manhattanmom wrote:

Also, the reason people are making light of your concern might be due to the title of the thread. When people read I JUST GOT THE DIAGNOSIS they think of a kid with cancer or serious developmental concern or something in that range. You should have kept the title as, "Help! Freaking Out! My Toddler Needs Glasses!"

OP here,

I understand that for you and many others it is, in the realm of things, a minor event for different reasons including:

1- he is not your child
2-you had a surrounding with babies/children with glasses so you are use to it
3-having similar experience in your own family you "coped" with it a long time ago
etc.

As a new mom, when the Dr tells you that your child is suffering from a "severe abnormal eyesight, that we need to see another specialist to confirm the diagnosis, ", excuse me but we do react.

And yes this diagnosis is scary at first and yes you think of your own experience when you saw these children crying in your office because they are "bullied" or "made fun of", "called "bugsy" or "4 eyes"...

NO MOM WOULD WANT THERE CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THAT!

So I stand by my title I did just received the diagnosis at that point and I did need some support.

In life a diagnosis is "welcomed" or "perceived" differently by different people.
For you I was freaking out, for me it was a reasonnable title, it was not a lie.
I'm not looking for "sensationalism" here.
I poured my heart.
I needed help.
And B'H' I'm getting it.

For US our son's health is an important issue and we do get concerned even though it seems to much for your taste

So please do not judge me on my title or how benign this is for you and how much pain I was in at first.

Thank you

.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 12:36 pm

manhattanmom wrote:

OP here,

I wanted to add that it seems that if it is not cancer or some degenerative disease then it is such a small thing and we should have no reaction or very little otherwise we are considered as being "freaking out"

I have to disagree.

It is true that these diseases are horrible C'V'S' but they are not the only diagnosis which can come to a shock to parents where they need to adjust to the situation and sometimes they need to cry a little bit before being able to have a clearer picture and face the music

bnm

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 6:13 pm

greeneyes wrote:

amother wrote:

greeneyes wrote:

)

Thank you! Smile

which store got you thinner stuff on insurance? I have an extremely high number and wouldn't mind trying that. you can pm me.

bnm

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 6:15 pm

amother wrote:

manhattanmom wrote:

they told that to my mother when I was young and I don't remember her freaking... we did go for 3 second opinions and I got red glasses with Minnie mouse on it. I was amazed at the clarity and wore them without a problem, a whole new world had opened up to me.

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 8:15 pm

amother wrote:

I did not read all the way through all the posts so I may be off here, but I felt really bad for OP. Hearing that your child needs glasses is DEVASTATING. My son wears a +15 in one eye and a +25 in the other. He is the cutest thing ever, but just because it's not cancer or imminent heart failure doesn't make it good news - at first. A little compassion everyone, please!

OP here.

Thank you for your kind words.

Please do not think that this thread was "bad" ie people telling me "off"
On the contrary many posters were really reassuring and caring like you.

Thank you again

amother

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 8:28 pm

bnm wrote:

Op here,

How old were you? obviously more than 17 months if you have a recollection of what you did see at first and how your mom reacted Smile

What was your prescription strenght?
Did your mom had any previous experiences with such diagnosis and saw first hand the negative consequences of children crying because they were bullied, called names,...

Did other siblings had the same condition?
Were you the first child/only child then?

Do you have children that started to wear glasses at 17 months?

when the baby is that young it is a shock to have such a severe Hypertropia.

When you put all those factors together it was overwhelming.But again Maybe not for you.

the world's best mom

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 9:47 pm

OP- I understand why it would be hard to learn that your child needs glasses at such a young age, especially if he or she is your only child. You have never experienced anything like this and the first time is never easy.

I don't think you have to worry about people making fun of the glasses. I grew up with glasses and a patch and noone made fun of me. I even once took off the patch in school so we could take a class picture, and the whole class gathered around to see what the inside of it looked like and they thought it was very cool.

When people criticise your choice of title, it is because many mothers deal with a lot worse than bad vision. Vision is correctable, and quite easily so. My son just had surgery on his eyes to correct a lazy eye, and that was nothing compared to some of the other things we've been through. In fact, I recently started a thread with a similar title to this. I called it "Facing a scary new diagnosis for ds." (It was in the forum for children with special needs, so you won't see it here.) That was when we found out his liver enzymes were very high and he may have a liver blockage or liver disease. B"H, it turned out to be a temporary liver problem caused by a virus and it fixed itself. He also had moderate hearing loss until he had tubes put in his ears. And my girls have been through even more difficult diagnoses. And I consider my kids' diagnoses minor compared to many others I know of.

In the course of motherhood, things are not always smooth sailing. Hopefully, you will learn from this experience that some things that seem horrible at first are really not as bad as you thought. There is no need to panic every time you hear a diagnosis like this in the future. But that is something you learn from experience.

I give you a Bracha that this diagnosis should be the worst one your kids ever have, and that if a worse one does come up, Hashem should give you the strength to deal with it more easily than this one.

bnm

Thu, Feb 11 2010, 11:30 pm

amother wrote:

bnm wrote:

Op here,

How old were you? obviously more than 17 months if you have a recollection of what you did see at first and how your mom reacted Smile

I was 4 but in hindsight had needed glasses much earlier. I had been cross eyed at one point but it went away.

I started out over 8

My parents both wear glasses and where surrounded by siblings who wore glasses since they where little so it was no big deal for them. I don't know which community you live in but in my community a lot of kids wear glasses, my elementary class started out with just 2 but by the time we got to 8th grade was over 90% glasses/lenses wearers....

the rest of my siblings all got glasses but they where older, I am the oldest and was the first to get.

My mother made sure to get cute glasses when I was in kindergarten and later years glasses that blended with my coloring.

I'm going to be taking my baby to the eye dr as soon as I can get an appointment.....

my neighbor got glasses at 9 months old, a little boy. He got those silhouettes, you can barely tell the kid is wearing glasses.

and please keep in mind, B"H the issue your child has can be helped with glasses. if your really against glasses you can get him lenses, discuss it with the eye dr.