DD PRINCIPAL CONTACTED ME TO GIVE HER $150 FOR TEACHER BONUS

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 8:55 pm

My dd principal calls me and tells me she wants to give each teacher in the school a nice bonus. She is calling 5 parents in each class to pay $150 for the teacher for pesach bonus. I really think its disgusting to call and collect such an amount. If she collects x amount of dollars from everyone fine---but not to ask 5 parents to pay for it!! We are not well off and have so many of our own expenses for Pesach. Secondly, I just gave the teacher money for Purim. Thirdly, dont you think if I give $150 I wanna do it in my name--not in the name of the principal giving a bonus??!??!! What should I do??? I want to stay on good terms with the principal would you give the money even if its tough---what do you think is it right or wrong of the principal to ask for it ? I would love to hear your opinion!!!!!!!!!!

rydys

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:04 pm

How about just saying "that's an interesting idea, but I just don't have the money right now."

mominlkwd

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:06 pm

I think you should tell her honestly that you'd love to be able to do this but you just don't have the money right now. If everyone chips in $5 you'd love to be a part of it.

At first I though it was a bit weird but than I thought about it and they probably just think you are better off than you are. At my kids schools they often get parents to sponsor things like siddurim, graduation, food for pta meetings and such so I guess it's not so strange.

sarachana

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:08 pm

Just tell her how you feel, don't get disgusting or start attituing about this and that, but tell her very unemotionally and respectfully that you think she should lower the amount and ask ALL the parents for the same amount. But if you don't want to give at all, then tell her you can only give x amount this year, since you already gave her for Purim....maybe she does not realize that you gave the teacher money then. And if you do end up giving that huge amount of money, give it to the teacher directly, that way you know it went straight to the cause.....just in case Rolling Eyes

chaylizi

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:08 pm

that is so not okay. I'm not even sure what else to say.

marina

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:14 pm

Maybe tell the principal that Marina, from Imamother is looking for a $600 bonus for Pesach this year and ask her if she is willing to give a donation for that.

MommyZ

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:18 pm

marina wrote:

Maybe tell the principal that Marina, from Imamother is looking for a $600 bonus for Pesach this year and ask her if she is willing to give a donation for that.

life'sgreat

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:30 pm

mominlkwd wrote:

I don't think there's any excuse, even if they think she's better off.

Plonis

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:31 pm

I think that's something that should be in the SCHOOL's budget, not yours. A Pesach bonus should be part of the yearly salary, not something the parents sponsor in addition to tuition.

racheleezzy

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:32 pm

MommyZ wrote:

marina wrote:

Maybe tell the principal that Marina, from Imamother is looking for a $600 bonus for Pesach this year and ask her if she is willing to give a donation for that.

life'sgreat

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:36 pm

marina wrote:

Maybe tell the principal that Marina, from Imamother is looking for a $600 bonus for Pesach this year and ask her if she is willing to give a donation for that.

I find this absurd. If the principal wants to give a bonus, she can go ahead and give a bonus. To take it from a few parents, and such an amount?

I don't see how this ties into being on good terms with the principal. Say no, with a sweet smile.

WriterMom

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:39 pm

I'm staggered.

Also, I'm wondering how long until lots of frum families start homeschooling, and pooling to hire a limud kodesh teacher. Anything has got to be better than some of the horror stories I've come across here.

chanab

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 9:49 pm

uh, marina 5x150=750.00...much better than a measly 600, don´t you think?
I think its outrageous...

imaamy

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 10:08 pm

I'd tell her something a lot less ladylike than everyone else suggested. That is beyond chutzpah!

ValleyMom

Sun, Mar 21 2010, 11:06 pm

Well, as a teacher I think it's a FABULOUS idea! I wish I taught in your daughter's school!

I AM KIDDING PEOPLE...

I think it's completely obnoxious to ask several parents to chip in for a bonus. Sleazy would be a better word.

One year I asked a mom if she would help me cover the cost of developing some photos of the kids. The few dollars here and there were quickly adding up and cutting into our household budget. I was hoping for a few dollars--she handed me two one hundred dollar bills

.... I was horrified and stepped back slightly , completely appalled by the gesture.
I looked her in the eye and said "I feel like a cheap call girl" (I was a little more colorful but THIS IS Imamother... those of you that need the 100% truth just PM me... :-)Then we both laughed hysterically and she went to Costco to pick up my prints.

Having parents help me out in small ways like that make my job a joy!!!

mae1984

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 7:02 am

Unbelievable!! Bonus's should be coming out of the school budget - not from the parents.
I'm sickened

amother

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 8:25 am

Totally disgusting. No way I would pay that. They should be giving a decent wage and then this wouldn't be necessary. I know they're probably not (I've worked in a Jewish school and earned my measly $8000 a year before tax (and probably the only one paying tax anyway) but to expect parents to provide a bonus is just wrong! Meanwhile the people at the top of the pecking order don't seem short of too much, maybe suggest the Principal provide the bonus if he can't manage to provide them with a decent wage that enables them to live properly year round.

Raisin

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 8:34 am

amother wrote:

the principal does not pay the salaries, someone else does. (I assume) So maybe this is something she is doing off her own bat - she has no control over the salaries, but would like to give something to the teachers. Maybe she is watching all the parents skip off to pesach hotels and thinks that if they can afford that, maybe they won't mind giving $150. If the OP can't afford it, smile and say sorry, not this time.

Do you really think the principal enjoys being a schnorrer?

I used to work in a school that didn't pay very well. One year a person gave a sum of money to the school with explicit instrutions that this was to be given to teachers as a bonus, not to pay off the mortgage or heating bill. It was a really nice gesture.

Ruchel

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 8:36 am

I would have laughed and said are you hiring teachers?

amother

Mon, Mar 22 2010, 9:11 am

Raisin wrote:

amother wrote:

In this school it WAS the Principal who decided the salaries. The Principal may not have issued the actual money as far as the administration work but was responsible for what people got. In fact this Principal told me they would give me $9000 and then only gave $8000 (because 9 wasn't bad enough...it's a big difference in pay when you get so little and I was married and supporting us on that, not living at home with few expenses). And yes I questioned it and was dismissed, Principal's word against mine, nothing I could do about it.

Choosing only 5 parents from each class is unfair to start with. Call me pessimistic but I wonder if they would actually get the whole amount or have a portion skimmed off the top...

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next