Very weird guest situation

amother

Sat, Apr 03 2010, 4:58 pm

Around Shabbos lunchtime this young couple in our building stopped by with their baby. I thought they came by just to say hello and chat. We don't know them very well at all. At some point in the conversation it became clear that they thought they were eating lunch with us!

It was very odd as I hardly speak to the wife and certainly did not invite them. But I pretended like "sure, you're eating lunch with us" and acted naturally. Was this the right thing to do? I don't know, but we kept up the charade and I set the table for everyone, acting like they were meant to eat with us and making them feel very welcome.

Then, before we began eating, they said they had to get something for the baby, and they left. They never came back. It turns out they went to a different neighbor for lunch! I was so confused. I assume what happened is that they figured out it was someone else who had invited them, but couldn't they at least have had the courtesy to come tell us? Should I approach them about it, or just ignore the whole crazy situation?

Yocheved84

Sat, Apr 03 2010, 10:13 pm

If you see her in the elevator or lobby, I'd say "We missed eating the meal with you. But I'm glad you found your way to abc's apartment. We'll have to try for another Shabbos meal." It'll show this young couple that they did wrong in a passive way (you were incredibly gracious and they were rude), but also teach them in the process. It's also a good neighborly gesture.

Sometimes we all make mistakes or are embarrassed and don't handle ourselves well. Perhaps this couple used poor judgment and didn't know how to say they went to the wrong apt.

Raizle

Sat, Apr 03 2010, 10:31 pm

I feel bad for them.
It sounds like they are not rude but made a poor move. They were probably mortified and being young had no idea how to handle the situation.
I wouldn't be upset with them even if what they did was wrong. I would try to do something to make them not want to fall through the floor the next time they see you.

geemum

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 2:38 pm

Perhaps they genuinely went to get something for the baby and then went back to the "wrong" (actually correct") appartment. Or maybe they went to a 3rd neighbour?

Who knows?

louche

Fri, Apr 16 2010, 2:28 pm

Kol hakavod to you for handling it all with grace and graciousness. The poor kids lack savoir faire, but you more than made up for it. Keep up the good work by saying nothing.