help! my daughter has a weird falling asleep ritual.........

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:04 pm

I am not sure if I should make her stop or not.

When I put her to sleep she lies on her stomach. She always sleeps with two stuffed animals in her bed.

Many nights she will take one of the stuffed animals and put it under her stomach and sort of between her legs and then she moves on top of it. To me it is obvious that she is feeling some sort of good feeling or pressure down there. I dont know if this is something that I should stop her from doing.

And she is 2 years old.

What to you imamothers think?

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:12 pm

Tell her they are dirty and you need to wash them, then tell her they went to live with other stuffed animals.
If she uses others, tell her she will hurt her stomach sleeping like this.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:22 pm

HI! I have a 19 month old dd that either goes to sleep with touching the nipple of her bottle, if shes in her crib... but just like that if I hold her and shes tired or in the morning when shes in my bed she puts her hand into my nightgown or shirt and touches private parts there or just flesh... its not only me she does the same to my dh, shes doing it since shes much younger she simply loves flesh, what do I do about it???? a few times its really not tznius like if I hold her in the grocery she just digs in...

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:23 pm

There was recently a thread discussing this, something like "was I molested?", but the discussion turned to little kids pleasuring themselves.. and the general consensus was that this is normal. IMO you do not need to stop this, let her feel good. Why should it bother you. However, make sure she knows that it's only for her bedroom or in privacy. Keep an eye on her that she doesn't do it in front of other people. By making her stop doing it, she will just do it when you're not looking and she'll think of it as a bad thing. Which it's NOT.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:25 pm

amother wrote:

Why don't you start a new thread about this. It's not really the same issue as the OP has and it will be confusing having responses to 2 different issues. Though IMO I don't really see waht's wrong with what she's doing. Just some exploration that will dissapear in a short time.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:27 pm

amother wrote:

Tell her they are dirty and you need to wash them, then tell her they went to live with other stuffed animals.
If she uses others, tell her she will hurt her stomach sleeping like this.

What advise is this?

My dd does this with her pillow, she's 3, I explained her that when she plays with her pillow it's private and not for anyone else, she may only do it in her room when nobody else is there and she may not bring her pillow out of her room, nor may she go to her room to play with pillow when there are guests in the house.
IT IS NORMAL

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:29 pm

amother wrote:

Tell her they are dirty and you need to wash them, then tell her they went to live with other stuffed animals.
If she uses others, tell her she will hurt her stomach sleeping like this.

I am the OP. I think that this is not something that I would do, but thanks for the ideas.
I dont want to tell her things like this. even on nights when she does not do this she has the two dolls with her and it is a comfort for her, I can tell, so no I will not do this to her. to me that is too extreme.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:32 pm

Not everything "normal" we want our kids to do. With small kids an explanation may be too complicated and sometimes we have to take away something leading to an unwanted behaviour. If my kid was keeping cakes in her room and eating all night, I would not explain obesity and diabetes to her, I would either just take away, or say we don't eat in our room because "simple reason", and let it at that.

To each their own.

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:32 pm

amother wrote:

Please start a new thread and I'll respond. I think it's an entirely different issue and worth a discussion, but it'll just combobulate things here.

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:34 pm

amother wrote:

If you are comparing this to obesity or diabetes then you should understand why such hypersensitive reactions arent' healthy.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:35 pm

amother wrote:

So what do you take away when your kid hits? her hands? Maybe it's time to learn to give explanation on their level.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:37 pm

amother wrote:

So what do you take away when your kid hits? her hands? Maybe it's time to learn to give explanation on their level.

It's easy to explain not hitting. shock

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:37 pm

amother wrote:

If you take away her teddies/pillow, etc. she will just find something else to do it with. You can't take away her hands or blanket can you? There is no reason for you to make it seem to her like something bad. Eating cake all night is bad. Who is saying that's normal? What

. By making this seem like she is doing something wrong, she will always think that it's a bad thing to do. And it's not. IT is fine to do in privacy. I think that the amother who wrote that she told her 3 yr old that she can only do it in her room has a very healthy outlook and attitude to it. And IMO is the correct thing to do. NOT forbid her and make her seem terrible for enjoying it.

Raizle

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:39 pm

This has nothing to do with se-ual pleasure. Kids that age don't feel it.
Ever seen a baby - toddler boy with an erecti0n after a full diaper? They don't like it much, it's not pleasurable and they get annoyed.

digging hands in mommies shirt is totally normal, I can't tell you how many kids I've seen and how many of the kids in my own family have done this, it is SO normal.

OP's kid playing with the dolls like that is just play. Don't worry about it and let her play.

I think if you mothers are going to make moutains out of not even mole hills then you are going to be creating problems where none exist. let your toddlers be toddlers and move on.

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:40 pm

amother wrote:

Tell her they are dirty and you need to wash them, then tell her they went to live with other stuffed animals.
If she uses others, tell her she will hurt her stomach sleeping like this.

Say what? What exactly does this teach the child? That mom's a coward and needs to resort to lying because she feels uncomfortable with something? It can only give the child negative behaviors.

/thinks to herself - is this a site for adults or for giddy teens that feel they can finally talk about such stuff, why the need for amother??/

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:43 pm

Raizle wrote:

It might not give them s@xual pleasure, but giving them the wrong messages about this will definitely affect their s@xual performance, views and pleasure later in life.

Digging hands in mommy's shirt might be normal, but there's nothing wrong in teaching a child boundaries by simply saying we don't put our hands down other people's shirts. That's learning a healthy boundary.

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:43 pm

amother wrote:

Not all streams of Judaism think this is a good thing to do. But I guess they're sick and tired of posting their "not cool" opinion.

It isn't a stream of judaism. No one thinks this is great and laudable but it is a normal part of childhood and exploration. It isn't about a not cool opinion, but about the hysteria and twisted views people have.