help! my daughter has a weird falling asleep ritual.........

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:44 pm

Quote:

Ever seen a baby - toddler boy with an erecti0n after a full diaper? They don't like it much, it's not pleasurable and they get annoyed.

Not nec. true. My baby does this all the time. Every time I pamper him he puts his hands down there and smiles or laughs. Sometimes he gets an erecti0n. Its definitely pleasurable.

Raizle

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:49 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

Ever seen a baby - toddler boy with an erecti0n after a full diaper? They don't like it much, it's not pleasurable and they get annoyed.

Not nec. true. My baby does this all the time. Every time I pamper him he puts his hands down there and smiles or laughs. Sometimes he gets an erecti0n. Its definitely pleasurable.

He laughs because it feels funny. It's not se-ual. Ok maybe my experiences with kids are different but I still don't believe it's se-xual. Not at the age of 2

BUT even if it is, it's a normal stage that will pass. 2 is way too young to start making an issue of these things. In fact if you make an issue, you will make them more aware and it will be more habit forming.

Raizle

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:52 pm

life'sgreat wrote:

Digging hands in mommy's shirt might be normal, but there's nothing wrong in teaching a child boundaries by simply saying we don't put our hands down other people's shirts. That's learning a healthy boundary.

Yeah sure, remove the child's hand gently and distract them, but don't freak out and think there is something wrong with your kid. That's all I was trying to say.
But with the OP I think she should just let the kid play with her dolls. She's only 2 for goodness sake, just a baby

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:52 pm

[HI! I have a 19 month old dd that either goes to sleep with touching the nipple of her bottle, if shes in her crib... but just like that if I hold her and shes tired or in the morning when shes in my bed she puts her hand into my nightgown or shirt and touches private parts there or just flesh... its not only me she does the same to my dh, shes doing it since shes much younger she simply loves flesh, what do I do about it???? a few times its really not tznius like if I hold her in the grocery she just digs in...[/quote]

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:56 pm

I am once again the OP.

OK, first of all, I did not want this to become a discussion about pleasuring, at all. That was not my point per say. I know that what my daughter is doing is not s-xual at the moment, I realize that, for goodness sake, she is almost 2, she does not know for that yet, but I do know that she can feel something when she does that (she also sometimes, while sitting on my knee also moves back and forth in that area).

I will not take away her dolls at bedtime, that to me makes absolutely no sense.
I guess from reading all of these posts I see that many people have different ideas about this.

Thanks everyone. I already came to my own conclusion and it will be to allow my daughter to just do what she is doing and as she gets older if she continues, I will have to teach her that this is something that she should not do out in the open but only in her room because it is not proper to do this in front of other people.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

[/quote] I am again the OP. can you start a new thread so as not to take away from my original post? thanks.

manhattanmom

Sun, May 02 2010, 3:07 pm

This is the only way my 16 month old knows how to put himself to sleep.
He lays stomach down on top of his security blanket and/or stuffed animal and rubs himself to sleep on top of them.
He never took a bottle, pacifier, or thumb and when he finally learned how to self-soothe himself to sleep about a month ago. That is what he just figured out to do....
And I'm not doing anything about it. It's comforting to him and helps me because I no longer have to nurse him to sleep!

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 3:28 pm

amother wrote:

Calling pleasuring by any other name won't change it. Call it pleasuring or soothing. Smile

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 3:39 pm

life'sgreat wrote:

amother wrote:

Calling pleasuring by any other name won't change it. Call it pleasuring or soothing. Smile

I know that. I just meant that it is not s-xual at this moment in time. she is 2 and does not know about that yet, but yes you are correct, it is what it is Smile

chavs

Sun, May 02 2010, 5:09 pm

OP its completely normal, if you dont like it try to distract her by cuddling her or stroking her back to help her fall alseep, personally I'd leave her, its not s-xual just relaxing. If she does it in front of company I would distract her with a toy but in her bed I'd leave her, she is self soothing.

To the amother whose dd sticks her hands down her shirt, dd is breastfed so also does it sometimes (used to do it a lot), I simply take her hand away and tell her not to do it or not now and kiss her hands and cuddle her or hugs her or not depending on what I am doing, I try to make it clear I am not rejecting her though.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 5:12 pm

chavs wrote:

that is already part of the bedtime routine Smile

I am just going to let it go for now.

thanks everyone for confirming what I thought, that it is normal and I should just let it pass.

chavs

Sun, May 02 2010, 5:13 pm

Oh, forgot to add, please dont tell her its dirty! It sounds like a recipe for disaster or problems in the future, there is nothing dirty about it, you might not think its appropriate but dirty it isnt, I wouldnt even tell a boy its dirty, there are so many more productive and gentle ways to discourage this that wont mess up their s-xuality in the future.

amother

Sun, May 02 2010, 5:26 pm

chavs wrote:

OP here. I would NEVER EVER tell her that it is dirty. Its one thing for me not to like seeing her do what she is doing, but I would never tell her its dirty. That would send a terrible message to her.

gold21

Sun, May 02 2010, 5:56 pm

I agree with the amother that is "sick and tired" of offering a "not cool" opinion on this. lifesgreat, a different point of view on childhood pleasuring is not hysteria. im not feeling hysterical, not at all, and I would not get hysterical if this occured to my child. I dont think its very normal to refer to what OP's child is doing as "pleasuring" or "pleasuring". she is not a s-xual being at this time. she is simply applying pressure to that area, and that is not pleasuring. pleasuring infers s-xuality. 2, 3, and 4 year olds are not in touch with their s-xuality yet. now, I realize im the only one with this conservative point of view who is posting under my screenname, but I dont care, as I believe I am right. I think OP's child just enjoys applying pressure there, which is common in children, and in no way is she touching self. You can all bash me and cal me an idiotic judgemental uninformed pathetic radical loser, but I stand by my point of view. enjoy bashing!

life'sgreat

Sun, May 02 2010, 6:05 pm

gold21 wrote:

I just looked up the word pleasuring in the dictionary:

Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to org@sm, by manual contact or means other than s@xual intercourse.

It isn't so clear cut only about s@xuality. It is excitation of genital organs. I don't think anyone thinks this is s@xual in any way, but it is pleasuring. It's pleasant for the child and I don't think there's denying that. Call it pressure, but it's still pleasuring.

gold21

Sun, May 02 2010, 6:12 pm

its also pleasureful to scratch an itch when it is bothering you. its also pleasureful to get a massage. many things can bring pleasure. but applying pressure to that area as a child, while perhaps a form of pleasure, is not a s-xual form of pleasure. therefore, I wouldnt call it "pleasuring" as that is a term reserved for s-xual pleasure. Ladies, lets not sexualize our babies.

chavs

Sun, May 02 2010, 6:16 pm

I agree its not s-xual perhaps in the other thread you were disagreed with because when others said pleasuring you would have said applying pressure/feel good. I agree a 1/2/3/4 year old isnt touching self in the way we understand it, they are doing something that makes them feel good which happens to be on their private/s-xual parts. As adults we see our genitals and pleasure in a much more complex way with all sorts of prejudices and ideas and opinions so seeing a small child touch their s-xual organs fills us with all sorts of different feelings coming from our preconceived adult mature feelings but a child doesnt have those feelings, they dont yet think of it as dirty(like one amother wrote) or s-xual it simply helps them relax or feels nice, so is it pleasuring in the adult idea of the meaning of the word, no certainly not imho, it might be what some would call childhood pleasuring or some might call selfsoothing or some might call making herself feel nice/sleepy.
Is that anything like what you meant?

chavs

Sun, May 02 2010, 6:16 pm

gold21

Sun, May 02 2010, 6:17 pm

this is an extremely awkward topic for me, as 2 of my friends are on this site, and who knows who else knows me here, but I find it so disturbing the way women sexualize everything and everyone, I feel like posting, even tho im beyond mortified...