Facebook Soap Opera Involving Former Neighbor

amother

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 5:12 am

Ok, this is a long story.
About a ten months ago a couple who used to live in our neighborhood moved away (for various reasons). This was a very young couple who were married about four or five years and TTC.
They were both my FB friends and we actually were members of the same Internet site (not Imamother) with various forums. We were never very good friends but we were friendly, we know some of the same people and the DH would give me rides once in a while, DH and I liked them very much.
Anyhow, I just noticed that some FB friends of mine were commenting on posts written by someone with the same first name as my former neighbor but a different last name. Something about her style of writing sounded familiar, then I noticed about a week later that this was the same woman just without her hair covered. I went into her page (friend of friends) and it seems that not only have they gotten divorced but according to a like she posted he had cheated on her. This guy was such a sweet guy and they always seemed so loveey dovey, it's hard to believe.
I know I sound like the nosie neighbor that I am, but I'm wondering if I should ask to be her friend (she might need some support in this time of need) although, she has always been a bit standoffish. Should I ask a mutual friend (well more of an acquaintance) what happened and if she thinks I should reach out to said friend or even just friend her on FB.
Or, like DH says, I should just butt out and mind my own business.
I'm seeing her post all the time now, with some of my FB friends commenting and I wonder if she's doing this in public so people who know her should realize what has happened to her instead of explaining it to everyone and they should take the initiative.

I can handle it if you tell me to butt out.
If you recognize the situation (I highly doubt this) I'd love some insight.

Shopmiami49

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 5:57 am

The way you describe your relationship with her, it sounds like you guys are not close. In that case, you probably would seem just plain nosy if you would try to befriend her now, after she has gotten divorced. I mean, if she felt close enough, don't you think she would have reached out to you for support? IMO, I think that you want to "remind" her that you are there for her IF she wants/needs you, don't go thru FB for that. Be extra friendly to her when you see her around, or write her a letter/email telling her that you were so sorry to hear what happened and you are there for her if she wants. But I think that Facebook is so impersonal, and it may come across that you are just looking to find out indirectly what happened, which would most probably turn her away.

amother

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:03 am

Shopmiami49 wrote:

I don't see her around, she has moved away.
I only know the story from what she herself has written on FB and I know very little details. I think it may be weird to say I had heard what happened when I actually "overheard" it from her (perhaps purposefully).

Shopmiami49

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:37 am

amother wrote:

Shopmiami49 wrote:

why would you think that she purposely "let you know"?

amother

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:42 am

Shopmiami49 wrote:

amother wrote:

Shopmiami49 wrote:

why would you think that she purposely "let you know"?

Not me personally, but I think she may be letting "the world" know by allowing anyone to see her profile and her posts on her situation and by commenting on other peoples posts adding in her new situation.
I think she may find this easier than calling up each and everyone of her FB friends and letting them know.

Hatemywig

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:43 am

If I may, I will give you my opinion, coming from the fingertips of a divorcee.

People that choose to air their laundry in public, or in this case hang their status on facebook are attention seeking rabble rousers (Nebach)!!!

Of course she would like your attention, she most probably needs a sane level headed person to give her a good slap across the face (ok, ok, thats extreme).

I would send a private message and let her know I am there for her if she should need me and watch out that she doesn't use your name in order to slander her ex.

Its nice of you to care!

amother

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:51 am

Hatemywig wrote:

That's exactly it.
You totally got the situation.
Thanks for the advice.

Shopmiami49

Thu, Jun 17 2010, 6:56 am

amother wrote:

Shopmiami49 wrote:

amother wrote:

Shopmiami49 wrote:

why would you think that she purposely "let you know"?

This could be, but it still doesn't make any sense to me that she would WANT you to befriend her. It sounds like this is her way of venting and sharing her feelings without actually getting un-wanted advice from anyone.