If you have a choice- Rebbe or peers?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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farm

Wed, Aug 11 2010, 10:50 am

If you could choose to put your son in the class with the Rebbe who is head and shoulders above the other Rabbaim or the class with the best children who would make the best friends for your son, which would you go with?

Ima2NYM_LTR

Wed, Aug 11 2010, 10:52 am

how old is the child?

Is this for 1 year, or will it remain the same throughout school?

Can your child interact with the other kids during recess?

shalhevet

Wed, Aug 11 2010, 11:32 am

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

how old is the child?

That was my immediate reaction too.

The older a child, the more important the peers. For a young child I'd choose the rebbe, for a pre-teen/teenager the classmates.

PinkFridge

Wed, Aug 11 2010, 11:38 am

I don't know how big the school is. Are you sure he won't have anything to do with the other class?
And is it the same class in the afternoon or are they mixed?
I have to say, this is tough, if the rebbe is so qualitatively different from the others. When we got the letters from the school saying that we can give our input until a certain date and then the classes are set, my normal speech to the principal is
- my son is a fairly strong student, please make sure you don't make him the anchor in the class but put in other good, strong boys since he is a follower
- believe it or not, a big factor is the afternoon teacher. If all else is equal or close to equal, my big preference is whichever afternoon teacher has better control and rapport with the class, so that at least for one more year he'll learn and have respect for his teachers. (Not that he acts up, or that I would tolerate it, but I don't want him in a toxic atmosphere if I can help it.)

Ok, I realized I didn't answer your question, but did want to share some cheshbonos.

Simple1

Wed, Aug 11 2010, 11:44 am

farm wrote:

With the way you worded it, I'm not sure. Are these children already your son's friends and therefore you feel your son will be more comfortable in that class. Or are you saying you think that these are "better" kids. If it's the former, then it's something to consider, and like shalhevet says, depends on age. But if it's the latter, I'm not so sure. Sometimes what looks like better is not necessarily better; a kid might be great for one reason, and not so great for other reason, you never know. In that case, I would go with the excellent rebbe as he is in the position to be a positive influence on the class.

farm

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 11:52 am

The boy is going into grade 1. The school is big, not sure if recess is at the same time for all the classes. He doesn't know any of the boys that will be in the class with super Rebbe, his class from last year will be having a different Rebbe.

catonmylap

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 12:39 pm

I tend to think keep him with his class..

Any feedback on how the other Rebbe is?

amother

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 1:28 pm

Yes, I also think that at this age you should keep him with his class.
First grade is a big adjustment already, with the children learning how to sit still in one's seat.
Definately try to find out what the other Rebbe is like before you make your final decision.
Good luck!

louche

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 2:51 pm

You also have to consider how large is the gap between the "best" rebbe and the "second best" and upon what is that assessment based? Lehavdil, is Miss America really that much more beautiful than the first runner-up? Sometimes they're equally beautiful, but the first runner-up "only" plays piano and figure skates, while the winner not only plays piano and figure skates but also does macrame.

If the "best rebbe" is superb and the second best is excellent, does it really matter all that much? And what is it that makes the best rebbe best? Maybe his edge is something that doesn't matter to you or to your ds very much or at all. For example, maybe he's phenomenal with boys who resist reading, but your ds already loves to read, or he's remarkable with teaching davening but your ds already has all the makings of a future chazzan.

chaylizi

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 4:27 pm

I would choose peer group.

amother

Thu, Aug 12 2010, 6:51 pm

DON'T SWITCH CLASSES UNLESS COMPLETELY NECESSARY. Yes, I put it in bold, it's that important. I made the mistake of doing this to my kids, for similar reasons (the other class had a better teacher, or another school was much better). My kids suffered for this mistake. Live and learn, but I've finally learned the first priority should be stability and building relationships. Keep him where he is.
Taking a child out of his class and placing him in another is somthing that should only be done for the gravest of reasons.

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