Pros & Cons of Buffet Style Bar Mitzvah

amother

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 9:53 pm

We are iy'h soon making a Bar Mitzvah for our oldest son. We are debating if we should make a buffet style party during the week vs. a sit down dinner. I would like to get your opinions on it.

yummymummy

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 10:33 pm

Buffet Style
Pros - people can choose from a larger variety of dishes
Cons - people tend to get a bit "pushy" at buffets and you don't want great aunt Ida to get knocked over when cousin Shlameel elbows his way in for another helping of meatballs

Sit Down Dinner
Pros - your guests can enjoy the simcha in peace at their table while the waiter serves them
Cons - they're stuck eating a piece of chicken they don't really want since there is no other option (and they forgot to pack a super snack in their purse)

Personally, I prefer buffet (just make sure someone gets Ida's food for her)

Pinky

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 11:15 pm

being served is soo much more classier!you can offer a choice of main dish...
also there is nothing like being served (espcially when its a man serveing for a change:)

yummymummy

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 11:19 pm

maybe you can add a poll?

For me being able to choose something other than that darn piece of chicken/meat is worth giving up the personal service. I love the shmorg at weddings and hate the meal.

MiracleMama

Mon, Nov 08 2010, 11:44 pm

If you are catering, sit down meal will be more expensive. I have never understood why. Seems like there is a lot more food put out for buffet then would be needed to serve portions on a plate, but I've priced both for several simchas and it always comes out more for sit down. (And that's not even mentioning the added waiters).
As a guest though, I do prefer sit down. The variety of buffet is nice, but I just cannot stand the way people push and shove and hover like vultures, then cough and sneeze all over the food, touch things then change their minds and put back. Kinda gross. And I really like knowing I have my seat and that I wont be wandering about with a plate looking for a place to eat.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 5:14 am

I think a buffet is nice but make sure there are enough seats for everyone. You can even have a seating plan if you want.

I def prefer a buffet to sitting there waiting for my table to be served. Also make sure there is plenty of buffet space.

imabima

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 7:36 am

I don't mind buffet and for sure if it's cheaper then go for it. Make a seating plan so everyone has a place (also makes it fancier to have a seating card) and it should be lovely!

chocolate moose

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 10:43 am

We toyed with that idea, and realized the following:

YOu need separate buffet stations for men and women

The stations take a lot of room which could be used for dancing or other tables

It might not be as cheap as you think, peple tend to eat more when it's buffet style

Merrymom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:55 pm

I don't like chicken dinners and they're crazy expensive, it's such a waste. A buffet at least everyone enjoys but people shouldn't have to worry about where they're going to sit.

Merrymom

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:59 pm

MiracleMama wrote:

I have never ever seen someone put food back or cough or touch the buffet food. I don't know where you live but that is just gross. Generally speaking there are waiters serving the food even at a buffet and I especially like it when the waiters go around with trays and serve little portions from the buffet to people where they are.

mominlkwd

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 12:59 pm

I'm another buffet supporter. I go to weddings just for the shmorg. I always write on the response card that they shouldn't prepare a meal for me. The buffet food is just much better, even at those weddings where you have a choice of meat, chicken or fish.

yummymummy

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 1:41 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

We toyed with that idea, and realized the following:

YOu need separate buffet stations for men and women

Not in every community

chocolate moose wrote:

The stations take a lot of room which could be used for dancing or other tables

Depends on the size and set up of the hall, definitely discuss with the caterer

chocolate moose wrote:

It might not be as cheap as you think, peple tend to eat more when it's buffet style

Agreed, when I priced a simcha the caterer said the price was the same for both

Shopmiami49

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 1:45 pm

My wedding was actually buffet style. Everyone had place cards, so they were guaranteed a seat. There were rolls and salads by each place on each table. The waiters came around with soup. The main was buffet and dessert was viennese table. It was so nice! We only got positive feedback. Oh yeah, and it was about 1/2 the price per head than being served...

Fox

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:28 pm

In theory, being served is considered more elegant, but I'm not sure it works out that way in practice. The last chassunah I attended was served by surly waiters who refused to bring me cutlery and my (invited) DDs didn't get to eat because other people sat in their seats and literally refused to move. It was absolutely horrible!

Frankly, most plated, waiter-served simchas have more in common with the school cafeteria than a fine dining experience.

I love buffets -- a relatively small wait staff can replenish food and keep the line moving.

egam

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 3:54 pm

I also always thought that buffet is cheaper. But I just had a simcha and few caterers priced buffet much higher then sit down meal. They told us that they need to bring more food and there is much more waste.

aidelmaidel

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 4:09 pm

Our family shita is that a bar mitzvah is not a wedding. Since the bar mitzvah boy is easily overwhelmed, and his bar mitzvah fell out on tzom gedalia, we made the "seudah" on chol hamoed sukkas. We had the ladies in our sukkah and the men in a neighbor's sukkah.

We served buffet style (easier in the sukkah anyway).

But even if it had been inside I think buffet is better. At least in our community, people drop in to simchas - only relatives and close friends come for the whole thing.

And I was just at a HUGE bar mitzvah (they sent out 1600 invitations) and it was buffet and lovely.

Barbara

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 4:23 pm

egam wrote:

IIRC, we were quoted about the same for buffet and sit down. We did have to pay extra because we didn't have assigned seating, meaning that we needed extra tables and linen since tables would not be full.

JAWSCIENCE

Tue, Nov 09 2010, 4:42 pm

I like the buffet better, but only if you are going to have enough seating for everyone.

I have been to some buffet affairs where the food looked out of this world but I couldn't eat it because there were no seats. Do not think that people will rotate between the seats and the dance floor. Older people will sit in the seats and stay there and some families will park someone at a table and have them save it. The end result being the vast majority of your guests end up standing around, not bothering to eat because they do not want to stand holding those incredibly heavy plates caters use and trying to maneuver one piece of silverware at a time while being jostled by other guests.

Definitely price both with your caterer.