How would you handle this? Orphan and family project

amother

Sat, Jan 29 2011, 1:25 pm

Every year we do a project about family where everyone brings in a picture of their family and we discuss who is in everyone's family (3 and 4 year olds). This year there is a boy who lost his father last year. Do you think we should still do the project this year? How would you handle it?

LondonIma

Sat, Jan 29 2011, 1:33 pm

can you speak to the mother? I think every grieving family would react differently to this situation- I taught a child in this situation and the father was sure to send in pictures of the mother and the child referred to her as my Ima is shamayim etc... another year I had a child (who had lost his father a few years before) who included only the members in his family home.

I really think best to speak to the mom if thats an option- you can tell her you're more than prepared to call the project off completely if she feels the child is not ready for a project like this, but also that you're willing to work with her to figure out a way for this child to participate if she'd prefer.

sorry- I'm not being so helpful. good luck.

amother

Sat, Jan 29 2011, 2:26 pm

LondonIma wrote:

That is helpful. Thanks for responding!

bubby

Sat, Jan 29 2011, 6:51 pm

Maybe contact the mother in advance of announcing the project/sending notes home etc so you can accommodate the mother's/child's feelings. Did you discuss it with the principal to see what they think? It's always a good idea to give the Hanhala a heads up as well as getting their input. Maybe they'll ask you not to do it this year, or to modify it.

Mimisinger

Sat, Jan 29 2011, 7:25 pm

I also think speaking to the mother would be the way to go. It's wonderful that you're thinking about this child so sensitively, kol hakavod!

Ruchel

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 10:53 am

I think it would be good if the child can skip that day for sure.

Now, from what I see, doing the project on siblings would only work for those who have bigger siblings, as others will have a baby sibling (not many things to tell) or nothing!

Isramom8

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 10:59 am

Good for you for being sensitive. Def contact the mom and ask what she prefers. I'd hope for the "abba is in shamayim" answer but they may not be up to this.

My hs principal always said, "your mother or another woman in your life you would like to bring" when talking about inviting to school things - even if there was not an orphan in that class. Shw wanted to be consistent so that when it was relevant it wouldn't hurt for that student to hear something different.

Of course some kids would have prefered to bring a different woman who was not their mom, but that wasn't the intent Exploding anger

tsiggelle

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 3:02 pm

Ruchel wrote:

why should the child skip the day? the child will feel bad. no need to make him feel even more different from the others. he will hear about the project from others.

I think either include the child(with consulting the mother)/modify the plan/substitute the project with another.

freshie

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 3:13 pm

I think this is good opportunity to speak to the mother to show your concern and hear if there is anything you should be aware how to speak to this child and that you are always there if she is needs help in this regard.