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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
faigie
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:30 am
let the bully finish her rant........when shes all blown out, just ask her.......why are you screaming?
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:09 am
amother wrote: | My daughter has been complaining about this girl several years already who always YELLS when she doesn't like something a person says or if someone expresses an opinion she disagrees with.
She particularly dislikes my dd and yells at her the most even when there is a whole group of girls saying the same thing. |
Quote: | DD has overheard her a number of times yelling at her mother and was shocked!!
she said her mother didn't even tell her off she just took it as if she was the kid and the girl was the mother.
She also orders her mother around and her mother allows it. |
This girl has nothing against your daughter. It's just that your DD seems to be the soft one she can let her moodiness out on, just like her compassionate mother who is surely scared of this daughter of hers.
This bully sounds like a rotten spoiled brat who desperately needs help and therapy. If she's rude to her parents, no doubt she's rude to the teachers too. What you need to do is discuss her anger issues and rude attitude with the principal (which should've been done all these years). She needs to get some counseling and work on her anger, temper and impulsiveness, otherwise she’ll have a miserable future ch”v.
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imasinger
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 11:32 am
While it's certainly a good idea to bring up the topic with the morahs/principal, I also think it's important to teach our daughters that they do not have to subject themselves to abuse.
Nor is it OK to tease or torment an abuser -- it's mean, and it could escalate the situation.
I like the solutions her that do neither. Direct gaze is supposed to be helpful to deflate a bullying attitude. Calmly calling attention to the behavior is also helpful. Maybe something like, "I'd like to hear your opinions about things, but it's hard to listen to when you are yelling at me." And walk away.
It might not prevent the screamer from doing it again, but it might preserve your DD's dignity, and give her strength in the future. Sad to say, I'll be this is not the last time in her life she will have to deal with someone's inappropriate anger.
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amother
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 1:48 pm
imasinger wrote: | While it's certainly a good idea to bring up the topic with the morahs/principal, I also think it's important to teach our daughters that they do not have to subject themselves to abuse.
Nor is it OK to tease or torment an abuser -- it's mean, and it could escalate the situation.
I like the solutions her that do neither. Direct gaze is supposed to be helpful to deflate a bullying attitude. Calmly calling attention to the behavior is also helpful. Maybe something like, "I'd like to hear your opinions about things, but it's hard to listen to when you are yelling at me." And walk away.
It might not prevent the screamer from doing it again, but it might preserve your DD's dignity, and give her strength in the future. Sad to say, I'll be this is not the last time in her life she will have to deal with someone's inappropriate anger. |
Op here
I like that one
It's compassionate while strong at the same time
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skazm
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 4:27 pm
btw self esteem never comes from talking about it, it comes from actions - doing things one is proud of.. from accomplishments...
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amother
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 7:18 pm
skazm, my daughter is 14 and the girls at that age are all into everything is awkward.
talking to anyone is awkward,
awkward awkward awkward!!! I so am getting sick of that word LOL
anyway you are right, I should get her involved in some sort of chessed
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amother
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 8:33 pm
skazm- I can't upload the file, anyway you could send it again or explain how I can get it?
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yaeli83
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Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:05 pm
skazm- I downloaded the shiur and it is on shavuos- is this the correct shiur?
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skazm
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Tue, Feb 22 2011, 8:49 am
Yaeli, yep!
everyone should just be able to just click on the link above and follow directions in order to get it (you're not uploading, you're downloading).
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skazm
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Tue, Feb 22 2011, 8:50 am
chesed is really important, especially when she's obviously needed and an important part of it
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