I just don't get how people afford...

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 7:01 pm

A pesach hotel! Okay... I'll admit maybe I'm a teeny bit jealous cuz we'd love to go to a hotel for Pesach but there's no remote way we could even attempt to afford it. How is it that so many people can afford to go with their families to a hotel for Pesach? I'm not referring to the people who are drowning in money and everyone knows it... I'm referring to families that I know that seem to be comfortable but not living in luxury... I just don't get how after rent or mortgage, yeshiva tutition, buying kosher food, cars (the list goes on and on) people have the extra thousands to just throw away over an 8 day period... it baffles me. Do people do this because they feel they "have to keep up w/ everyone else"?

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 7:10 pm

amother wrote:

maybe they are saving up for it. also, just because they SEEM comfortable but are not living in luxury doesnt mean that they dont have more money than you know about. I know so many people who you would never even THINK that they have the amounts of money they do, because they dont live like that at all.

amother

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 7:32 pm

I'm going to a hotel for Pesach with my inlaws who are quite comfortable. They go every year and take the whole family. Most people by the hotels I go to are not the people who save the whole year but are the people that have money. When we flew to Arizona one year they definitely spent a good $25,000 between the airfare for everyone and the hotel. Its a luxury for people who have money.

obagys

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 7:41 pm

Appearances are very deceiving. You have no clue what people have and their sources of income. A standard "middle class" family may have a huge amount of savings, while a family that seems to ooze money may be living in deep debt. You can never judge by someone's lifestyle what their real financial picture is.

GreenEyes26

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 8:22 pm

Oh my goodness. Not another thread of "how can these people afford xyz, I can't afford it, I just don't get it, blah blah blah blah..." It's VERY SIMPLE.

1. They work hard and have the money.
2. Someone else pays for it.
3. They're in debt.

That's it! Now, pick a choice and stop being jealous.

Tova

Mon, Mar 28 2011, 9:48 pm

obagys wrote:

True true. I think, though, that that middle class family sitting on a large amount of savings is very very rare (not talking about retirement accounts, etc. but extra funds to expend). We all know people with mid-six figure salaries or business owners or real estate investors, etc. but it's no secret how they can afford their lifestyle.

amother

Tue, Mar 29 2011, 4:06 pm

We have gone with dh working. He is going back this year but we are staying home. Its not that we are not welcome, we just dont want to go. The atmosphere at the hotel he works at is not a very frum one. Last year we were put in the conservative dining room-read cantor, choir and microphone at the sedarim. We had our first seder in the hallway. They moved us to the frum dining room for the 2nd seder, but not for the rest of yom tov.

The activities included big bucks bingo-every day-for money. The money part didnt bother me-the money on Y"T part did. Other activities also used cd players, microphones, and musical instruments.

Even with working, many staff still have to tip waitresses, maids, etc-and the stay is no longer free.

If you have little children/babies, what do you do for the seder? Leave them alone in your room so you can go to the seder? Have them be overtired and cranky and crying during the seder? No thanks, we'll stay home.

Tweedledee

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 10:42 am

GreenEyes26 wrote:

I think what she's saying is that considering how we're all hearing about how bad the economy is and most people I know work very hard and have two incomes but with frum tuitions, kosher food ect...I also wonder how there can be so many among us who somehow make enough income to afford a frum life and still have something left over for luxeries/ most of us work very hard and don't make it to the end of the month. my daughter's tuition was just raised $700 and another child is going into school next year and I can't begin to fathom how anyone can afford to have a 3rd child in the frum world, let alone go on vacation. I last went on vacation at age nine.the op I think is flabbergasted as I often am that such incomes still exist.

amother

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 11:08 am

And there are those who actually suffer a great deal because they think they're in competition with everyone else when it comes to having things. This can throw them into debt.

I personally know a few people like this. They simply cannot get into their head that they just don't have the money and cannot afford what others could afford. Simple. End of story.

It's like a crazy sickness...

Unfortunately the standards today are high but we need to be honest about what we can afford. It's a basic responsibility.

saw50st8

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 11:12 am

In general,

The people I know who can afford more than the basic necessities are those who managed to go into fields that pay well and have long(er) term financial stability. They also saved money along the way.

Its a lot harder to be financially stable if you get married at 19-20 and have kids while still in school. If you wait until you graduate and then get married, you are more likely to have long term financial success (no statistics to back me up on this, just comparing my friends by looking around).

amother

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 12:25 pm

We have been in a hotel twice in the 15 years we have been married.
Once was when I had miscarriage with complications that had me in the hospital for 3 days two weeks before pesach when we had 3 small children and have no family to go to.
The other was when dh had just spent two months hospitalized with a terminal illness.
Both times the cost was fully covered by generous donors, baruch Hashem.

amother

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 1:42 pm

We share the cost with my parents, who want us all to be together, but nobody has the space for all of us. We save like crazy during the year and have very few luxuries, but we both work very hard, and also consider it a worthwhile expense as it's the only vacation we have all year.

I do feel embarrassed about it though in front of my friends, especially when they are all complaining about the cleaning.

amother

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 2:16 pm

this year will be my 3rd year going to a hotel for pesach- my dh works there and did for a few years before we were married and loved it.
we decided for sukkos we will go to my family, and for pesach we will go on a "working holiday" I dont do any work but he does.
he does not come from such a family orientated backround where as I do and for me pesach in a hotel is just not yomtov, ther is no family atmosphere ur in one big diningroom and u most definately cannot be slouching around in your robe anywhere!
so far I have been happy to go back as it is a change of scenery we do get somewhat of a break as we stay on for a few days after yt to relax courtesy of the hosts.
this year we have a baby and I have been quite reluctant to go, but with family politics and financial hardship its not so easy to pass up the option of a free pesach and earning some money at the same time!
tbh from what I have seen most of the people there are ganza mishpochas were they all chip in and go away together which to me if u can afford it is ideal cos there is no point in going away for yt if it not with extended family, the rest are singles, older couples with no children or maybe with children but they decided to go away or parents kids sils/dils grandkids. very few of the people are a single family ie:mother father some kids.
seriously tho dbj (dont be jelous) having seen it from both sides of the coin, and we get the same treatment as guests in the hotel, I would much rather have a nice yt at home surounded by cousins uncles aunts etc knowing I put the effort in and it came out great!
thats my 2 cents